One of the Guys by Lisa Aldin Page A

feet.
    â€œYou’re crazy!” he shouts. “When are you gonna grow up, Tonya ?”
    Tonya?! Ouch. Not even Mom calls me that when she’s pissed. Out of breath, Ollie examines a bloody scrape on his hand. I rub my chin, but my hands won’t stop shaking. I really need to punch something. Loch and Cowboy stare in disbelief, but I don’t care what they think. I kick the basketball across the yard and hurry across the lawn to my house where I can feel alienated in a more familiar way.

    Later that night, I’m sitting in my driveway with a pile of colorful sidewalk chalk stacked beside me. I shiver. The hood of my sweatshirt over my head, I draw a lake monster on the cement. The long neck, the small head, the round body, the black tail against blue water. I trace that tail over and over again until it’s a thick tunnel of darkness.
    The smell of chalk reminds me of Dad. He should be sitting across from me, adding to the picture, making it more beautiful and unique. He was such a good artist. I pause, short of breath, and close my eyes for a moment.
    When I open them, there’s a blue ice pack in front of my face. Loch plops down across from me and dangles the ice pack like a treat. I take it and press it across my wounded chin, which stings. I add rain clouds above the lake monster.
    â€œWe’re in,” Loch says. “All of us.”
    â€œHuh?” If I responded like that at Winston, I’d feel like a prize moron. But with Loch, it feels okay to be not-so-eloquent.
    â€œYour business,” he says, pulling the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his hands. “People use each other anyway. Might as well get paid for it. For fake dates. Or whatever.”
    I drop the chalk. “How do I know Ollie’s not going to mess this up? These girls are my peers.”
    â€œHe hates to admit it, but he does need the money,” Loch says. “Cowboy does, too. He thinks the way to the heart of Katie Morris is planning an epic prom night for her.”
    I hesitate, doubting all of this. I thought the guys would immediately be excited about the business, but the showdown with Ollie proved otherwise. Maybe there’s too much resentment to be working together. And I’m hurt they would discuss the business without me. It was my idea. Why leave me out?
    â€œI don’t know,” I say, biting my bottom lip. “Maybe we should forget it.”
    Loch scoots closer and asks, “What are you so afraid of, Toni?”
    I’m afraid my friends are all leaving me behind. I’m afraid they don’t accept me anymore. I’m afraid of becoming the girl hung out to dry. I’m afraid to be different from them. I’m afraid that, without them, I’ll become unrecognizable to myself. Of course I say none of this.
    â€œOllie’s just trying to move on,” Loch adds. “I wouldn’t take it too personally.”
    â€œMove on from what though? A lifetime of friendship?” My voices rises. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Who would want to move on from that?”
    â€œYeah. I don’t know.” Loch fidgets with his shoelaces. I color the rain clouds blue, fighting back tears. Loch picks up a piece of chalk and adds a bright yellow sun above my drawing of Champ. We sit like that, coloring, until my hands grow numb.
    Brian’s voice cuts through the silence. “Toni? What are you doing out here? It’s late.” He stands underneath the porch light, the brim of his baseball cap shadowing his face.
    I wave. “I’ll be right in.”
    Brian lingers. Watches. Cracks his knuckles. I think about what he said about Loch being my boyfriend. I wave again, irritated, and he finally goes back inside.
    Loch and I stand, surrounded by dark sky. My breath is a puff of white fog between us. The lawns around us are crunchy and yellowed, tipped with frost.
    â€œSo are we open for business?” Loch asks, hopeful. His features