their boards. “It tells me you don’t like roots.”
He couldn’t believe she was talking about this now. He wasn’t prepared for it, but as natural as Alysse was on the water it probably felt like sitting around a kitchen table to her.
“That’s true.”
“What else don’t I know about you?” she asked.
“You two going to take any waves or just keep talking like old women?” Toby called as he paddled over toward them.
Alysse called back, “We’ll take a wave when we see one we like.”
“Whatever,” Toby said, paddling to catch the first in the next set that rolled under them.
“You should try to get to know some of the people in the group tonight. It’s hard, believe me I know, but you’ll enjoy it.”
“Will I? Is that a guarantee?” he asked.
She leaned over and kissed him quickly on the lips. “Nope, but if you try it and it works, that’s way better than the alternative. You taking this wave?”
He glanced back, thinking of what she’d said. He didn’t have any answers and only knew what he wanted to happen but Alysse was right; he couldn’t control any of that tonight. “I am.”
He paddled toward the wave and his instincts and athletic ability kicked in.
The wave swelled behind him and he felt the board moving the way it was supposed to; he stood up and rode it. The sun was setting behind him and the beach seemed far away and there was no real noise around him except the sound of the water. This all felt so unreal. Not even a week ago he’d been up to his ass in desert sand without a drop of water in sight and now he was immersed in it. Alysse had been a memory; now he was with her, next to her, and who knows...
He tumbled off his board and was pulled into the water. The wave crashed over him and dragged his board; he felt the tug on his ankle strap. He held his breath and then swam to the surface watching out for his board so he didn’t get conked on the head with it. He made his way to the beach and took off his ankle strap before picking up the board.
“You okay?” Toby asked from a distance.
Jay nodded and put the loaned board off to the side. There were other people there at the bonfire and they looked up at him with tentative smiles, but the conversation had ground to an abrupt halt as he’d approached.
Immediately, he turned away from the group and began walking down the beach. He didn’t belong in Alysse’s life, did he need more evidence than what he’d just seen? This was a big part of her world and he was never going to fit in here.
He didn’t understand its currents and patterns the way he did the corps. It didn’t matter that he’d spent all his adult life in the Corps, he should be able to adapt to almost anything. What was the matter with him? Did he really not want to be with Alysse?
That was the answer he’d been searching for, and it’d been right here in front of him the entire time. He didn’t fit in Alysse’s life because he couldn’t adapt the way she did. He’d seen her go from the bakery, where she was very at home, to the beach, and she probably had a dozen other roles she filled with ease.
He only had one. Marine. Did he want to leave the Corps behind and take a chance with Lucien and Company B? Or was he simply going to continue his same path? Honestly, he just wanted to stay where he was, but he knew that wasn’t the way to a successful life, not anymore. Not for him, anyway.
“Jay?”
He turned and saw Alysse jogging toward him. She still wore her wet suit, which lovingly hugged every inch of her body. Her ginger hair appeared darker, almost brown, as it hung in long, wet tendrils around her face and his heart soared. He didn’t want to leave her and yet he had no idea if he could stay.
There was no way he could ask her to be a part of his life while it was a mess. And tonight had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that his life was really still FUBAR.
* * *
A LYSSE HAD THOUGHT TWICE about catching Jay, but in the end
He couldn’t believe she was talking about this now. He wasn’t prepared for it, but as natural as Alysse was on the water it probably felt like sitting around a kitchen table to her.
“That’s true.”
“What else don’t I know about you?” she asked.
“You two going to take any waves or just keep talking like old women?” Toby called as he paddled over toward them.
Alysse called back, “We’ll take a wave when we see one we like.”
“Whatever,” Toby said, paddling to catch the first in the next set that rolled under them.
“You should try to get to know some of the people in the group tonight. It’s hard, believe me I know, but you’ll enjoy it.”
“Will I? Is that a guarantee?” he asked.
She leaned over and kissed him quickly on the lips. “Nope, but if you try it and it works, that’s way better than the alternative. You taking this wave?”
He glanced back, thinking of what she’d said. He didn’t have any answers and only knew what he wanted to happen but Alysse was right; he couldn’t control any of that tonight. “I am.”
He paddled toward the wave and his instincts and athletic ability kicked in.
The wave swelled behind him and he felt the board moving the way it was supposed to; he stood up and rode it. The sun was setting behind him and the beach seemed far away and there was no real noise around him except the sound of the water. This all felt so unreal. Not even a week ago he’d been up to his ass in desert sand without a drop of water in sight and now he was immersed in it. Alysse had been a memory; now he was with her, next to her, and who knows...
He tumbled off his board and was pulled into the water. The wave crashed over him and dragged his board; he felt the tug on his ankle strap. He held his breath and then swam to the surface watching out for his board so he didn’t get conked on the head with it. He made his way to the beach and took off his ankle strap before picking up the board.
“You okay?” Toby asked from a distance.
Jay nodded and put the loaned board off to the side. There were other people there at the bonfire and they looked up at him with tentative smiles, but the conversation had ground to an abrupt halt as he’d approached.
Immediately, he turned away from the group and began walking down the beach. He didn’t belong in Alysse’s life, did he need more evidence than what he’d just seen? This was a big part of her world and he was never going to fit in here.
He didn’t understand its currents and patterns the way he did the corps. It didn’t matter that he’d spent all his adult life in the Corps, he should be able to adapt to almost anything. What was the matter with him? Did he really not want to be with Alysse?
That was the answer he’d been searching for, and it’d been right here in front of him the entire time. He didn’t fit in Alysse’s life because he couldn’t adapt the way she did. He’d seen her go from the bakery, where she was very at home, to the beach, and she probably had a dozen other roles she filled with ease.
He only had one. Marine. Did he want to leave the Corps behind and take a chance with Lucien and Company B? Or was he simply going to continue his same path? Honestly, he just wanted to stay where he was, but he knew that wasn’t the way to a successful life, not anymore. Not for him, anyway.
“Jay?”
He turned and saw Alysse jogging toward him. She still wore her wet suit, which lovingly hugged every inch of her body. Her ginger hair appeared darker, almost brown, as it hung in long, wet tendrils around her face and his heart soared. He didn’t want to leave her and yet he had no idea if he could stay.
There was no way he could ask her to be a part of his life while it was a mess. And tonight had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that his life was really still FUBAR.
* * *
A LYSSE HAD THOUGHT TWICE about catching Jay, but in the end
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