worked its way through me, chilling my core.
“S-stop,” I stammered, teeth chattering. “I-I’m cold.”
“You ruined my wedding!” Teresa screamed, interrupting me. Guess her earlier worry had faded away. “Do you know how embarrassed I was to have to help drag you down here? I had to tell my family that you passed out from the heat! Not that any of them bought it.”
My vision cleared and I watched as my dad motioned for his new wife to shut her hole. Catching me looking, he quickly stared back at me with a sneer. “You’re lucky I didn’t call the cops on you. Then again, maybe a night in jail would finally wake you up.”
“Might as well, it’s not like my life could get any worse.” Defeat is a funny thing. Once it takes its reins on you, there’s nothing left but giving up.
Dad blinked wildly. “Jesse, what happened to you? I thought things were getting better.”
I couldn’t answer even if I wanted to. Feeling bile working its way up my esophagus, I began convulsing, shivering as I tried my hardest to keep my food down. I must have been a horrible sight because Teresa once again insisted on calling 911.
“Why?” I coughed, tasting sour acid on my tongue. “So you can turn your son in?”
Her face paled. “Jason would never…”
“Who do you think gave me that blunt?” If I didn’t quit talking I’d surely throw up. Pressing my eyelids together, I took a few deep breaths, trying to keep the vomit down.
“Are you kidding me?” Her voice was shrill, almost hysterical. “Jason would never do something so atrocious. You may only be my stepson, but I’ll have you know I won’t stand for this kind of bullshit.”
“Teresa,” Dad cut her off, using his most soothing voice. “Go back out to the party and have some fun. I’ll take care of this.”
“And how do you expect me to do that?” she snapped.
With an exasperated sigh, Dad coaxed, “Just go. Please.”
Surprisingly, Teresa stomped away without a fight. Had it been my mom, there would have been more broken items and screaming involved.
Maybe Dad finally picked a good one this time.
Dad waited until Teresa disappeared behind a set of double doors before turning back toward me. His anger seemed to have subsided and was replaced with something worse—worry.
“What the hell were you thinking? I…I thought you were better than this.”
“When I have ever been ‘better’?” I griped. “That’s why you left me, remember? Because Mom and I were never good enough?”
Dad’s face paled, his lips turning a weird shade of blue. “Where is this coming from? I thought—”
“That I liked it here?” And just like that, reality set in and the unexplainable void was finally understood. “Why am I pretending to be someone different? Why are you? Don’t you see? We’re always going to be the same scum from Bethel Hills! You can marry your Stepford wife and I can drown myself in Charleston, but I will always be that screw up and so will you. We just need to stop faking it. I am meant to be miserable all my life. I can never have what I want. What’s the point of going on with this charade if I’m never meant to be happy?”
He sighed and raked his hands through his gelled hair, casing the perfectly quaffed hairdo to tangle. “What happened, Jesse? Is it the wedding? Do you miss your mom?”
“When have I ever missed Mom?” My laugh was strained, made raspy from the acid.
“Is this about that girl? Rocky.”
I blinked. Was it?
I shook my head, though I didn’t know. “This is about me! I’ll always be a screw up even if I try my hardest not to be. Why not just embrace who the whole world thinks I am?”
Dad remained quiet for a few moments. “Because deep down I know you’re better…and I think that you know you’re better too.”
Chapter 12
I couldn’t prove that Jason had purposely laced my blunt, but I didn’t need tangible evidence to know he was a dick.
“S-stop,” I stammered, teeth chattering. “I-I’m cold.”
“You ruined my wedding!” Teresa screamed, interrupting me. Guess her earlier worry had faded away. “Do you know how embarrassed I was to have to help drag you down here? I had to tell my family that you passed out from the heat! Not that any of them bought it.”
My vision cleared and I watched as my dad motioned for his new wife to shut her hole. Catching me looking, he quickly stared back at me with a sneer. “You’re lucky I didn’t call the cops on you. Then again, maybe a night in jail would finally wake you up.”
“Might as well, it’s not like my life could get any worse.” Defeat is a funny thing. Once it takes its reins on you, there’s nothing left but giving up.
Dad blinked wildly. “Jesse, what happened to you? I thought things were getting better.”
I couldn’t answer even if I wanted to. Feeling bile working its way up my esophagus, I began convulsing, shivering as I tried my hardest to keep my food down. I must have been a horrible sight because Teresa once again insisted on calling 911.
“Why?” I coughed, tasting sour acid on my tongue. “So you can turn your son in?”
Her face paled. “Jason would never…”
“Who do you think gave me that blunt?” If I didn’t quit talking I’d surely throw up. Pressing my eyelids together, I took a few deep breaths, trying to keep the vomit down.
“Are you kidding me?” Her voice was shrill, almost hysterical. “Jason would never do something so atrocious. You may only be my stepson, but I’ll have you know I won’t stand for this kind of bullshit.”
“Teresa,” Dad cut her off, using his most soothing voice. “Go back out to the party and have some fun. I’ll take care of this.”
“And how do you expect me to do that?” she snapped.
With an exasperated sigh, Dad coaxed, “Just go. Please.”
Surprisingly, Teresa stomped away without a fight. Had it been my mom, there would have been more broken items and screaming involved.
Maybe Dad finally picked a good one this time.
Dad waited until Teresa disappeared behind a set of double doors before turning back toward me. His anger seemed to have subsided and was replaced with something worse—worry.
“What the hell were you thinking? I…I thought you were better than this.”
“When I have ever been ‘better’?” I griped. “That’s why you left me, remember? Because Mom and I were never good enough?”
Dad’s face paled, his lips turning a weird shade of blue. “Where is this coming from? I thought—”
“That I liked it here?” And just like that, reality set in and the unexplainable void was finally understood. “Why am I pretending to be someone different? Why are you? Don’t you see? We’re always going to be the same scum from Bethel Hills! You can marry your Stepford wife and I can drown myself in Charleston, but I will always be that screw up and so will you. We just need to stop faking it. I am meant to be miserable all my life. I can never have what I want. What’s the point of going on with this charade if I’m never meant to be happy?”
He sighed and raked his hands through his gelled hair, casing the perfectly quaffed hairdo to tangle. “What happened, Jesse? Is it the wedding? Do you miss your mom?”
“When have I ever missed Mom?” My laugh was strained, made raspy from the acid.
“Is this about that girl? Rocky.”
I blinked. Was it?
I shook my head, though I didn’t know. “This is about me! I’ll always be a screw up even if I try my hardest not to be. Why not just embrace who the whole world thinks I am?”
Dad remained quiet for a few moments. “Because deep down I know you’re better…and I think that you know you’re better too.”
Chapter 12
I couldn’t prove that Jason had purposely laced my blunt, but I didn’t need tangible evidence to know he was a dick.
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