flicker over my body.
"You don't look
our best." I notice she uses the word " our best"
instead of " your best." She's trying to remind me
who I work for, and the image I should represent. Suddenly, I'm a
little angry. Is it my fault they don't have any clothes that
fit me?
"This is what she
gave me," I gesture to myself. "You don't have any more."
A perfect eyebrow
raises. "We don't have any more?" She smiles and it looks
like a lioness smiling right before it bites your neck. "We are
considered one of the fastest growing businesses in all of Wisconsin
with plans to go national within five years. We've served
businessmen, CEO's, politicians. We've even served the First Lady. We
work hard to earn our reputation, and not a single detail is too
small to consider. I've worked for this company for twelve years, and
I can assure you, we most certainly 'have more'." Her voice
never rises louder than normal, but I know she's angry. I feel it
emanate off her like smoke from frozen ice.
"It's what she
gave me," I say quietly.
"Who?" She
doesn't say it like a question.
I don't want to throw
Alaina under the bus, not even if she wasn't very pleasant for me.
I've always felt a camaraderie with other workers. It's like we're in
the same fight; we want the same things. The unwritten code is never snitch on your co-workers, even if they might deserve it.
"I don't
remember," I make my voice sound vague. "It was a girl."
"What did she look
like?"
I shake my head. "Don't
know," I lie. The truth is no one can forget what Alaina
looks like. The combination of red hair, alabaster skin, and emerald
green eyes are striking to say the least.
"You forgot,"
she repeats it like she doesn't believe me.
I think about Courtney
and Stella. "Some of them look very… similar."
Anna understands what
I'm trying to say. That quells her suspicions a bit. "I told you
Maddie's has very high standards."
And what am I? I'm tempted to ask. I'm not naive about the way of the world. I have
my reasons for wanting to work here, and she has her reasons for
hiring me. Somewhere between us are benefits we both reap. I raise my
head higher as I remind myself about what a hard worker I am. I'm
hoping that will be something hard to replace.
"Let's go back up
there and find you something more suitable. You look homeless."
That insult doesn't hurt as much today since Alex already told me
yesterday I'd make customers lose their appetite.
I follow her,
obediently climbing each step toward the break room even though every
cell inside me wants to run the other direction. Courtney and Stella
are still lounging around, laughing about something that probably has
to do with me.
"Girls," Anna
nods her head towards them. Instantly their giggles cease, and they
straighten, blubbering greetings and avoiding eye contact like we
have the plague. Without making a sound, I re-enter the changing
room. Anna heads toward the back where I was with Alaina last night.
The metallic colored cabinets gleam more sharply this morning. Anna
rests her hands on the top.
"You're probably
an extra small," she says.
"Small," I
correct her.
She ignores me as she
opens the top drawer. I see several white blouses neatly folded.
"You're the only
extra small we have," she tells me. "Most of the girls are
more endowed."
Is that what it always
comes down to? My chest size? My face flushes a little. I remember
Nat's envy about my cleavage. I know they're not that small.
Anna picks up the first blouse on top and hands it over to me. The
tag reads extra small.
"What size pants?
One?"
"Three," I
say.
I'm not surprised when
she hands me a pair of capris in a size one.
"Why don't you try
these on? I'll wait for you outside."
"You don't have
to-" I start.
"I insist."
She turns to leave. It isn't until she's almost out the door that I
realize I should tell her about how I stapled the pants.
"Anna!" I
call out.
"Yes?" She
turns to look back.
I swallow my throat
nervously. "The pants were too long
"You don't look
our best." I notice she uses the word " our best"
instead of " your best." She's trying to remind me
who I work for, and the image I should represent. Suddenly, I'm a
little angry. Is it my fault they don't have any clothes that
fit me?
"This is what she
gave me," I gesture to myself. "You don't have any more."
A perfect eyebrow
raises. "We don't have any more?" She smiles and it looks
like a lioness smiling right before it bites your neck. "We are
considered one of the fastest growing businesses in all of Wisconsin
with plans to go national within five years. We've served
businessmen, CEO's, politicians. We've even served the First Lady. We
work hard to earn our reputation, and not a single detail is too
small to consider. I've worked for this company for twelve years, and
I can assure you, we most certainly 'have more'." Her voice
never rises louder than normal, but I know she's angry. I feel it
emanate off her like smoke from frozen ice.
"It's what she
gave me," I say quietly.
"Who?" She
doesn't say it like a question.
I don't want to throw
Alaina under the bus, not even if she wasn't very pleasant for me.
I've always felt a camaraderie with other workers. It's like we're in
the same fight; we want the same things. The unwritten code is never snitch on your co-workers, even if they might deserve it.
"I don't
remember," I make my voice sound vague. "It was a girl."
"What did she look
like?"
I shake my head. "Don't
know," I lie. The truth is no one can forget what Alaina
looks like. The combination of red hair, alabaster skin, and emerald
green eyes are striking to say the least.
"You forgot,"
she repeats it like she doesn't believe me.
I think about Courtney
and Stella. "Some of them look very… similar."
Anna understands what
I'm trying to say. That quells her suspicions a bit. "I told you
Maddie's has very high standards."
And what am I? I'm tempted to ask. I'm not naive about the way of the world. I have
my reasons for wanting to work here, and she has her reasons for
hiring me. Somewhere between us are benefits we both reap. I raise my
head higher as I remind myself about what a hard worker I am. I'm
hoping that will be something hard to replace.
"Let's go back up
there and find you something more suitable. You look homeless."
That insult doesn't hurt as much today since Alex already told me
yesterday I'd make customers lose their appetite.
I follow her,
obediently climbing each step toward the break room even though every
cell inside me wants to run the other direction. Courtney and Stella
are still lounging around, laughing about something that probably has
to do with me.
"Girls," Anna
nods her head towards them. Instantly their giggles cease, and they
straighten, blubbering greetings and avoiding eye contact like we
have the plague. Without making a sound, I re-enter the changing
room. Anna heads toward the back where I was with Alaina last night.
The metallic colored cabinets gleam more sharply this morning. Anna
rests her hands on the top.
"You're probably
an extra small," she says.
"Small," I
correct her.
She ignores me as she
opens the top drawer. I see several white blouses neatly folded.
"You're the only
extra small we have," she tells me. "Most of the girls are
more endowed."
Is that what it always
comes down to? My chest size? My face flushes a little. I remember
Nat's envy about my cleavage. I know they're not that small.
Anna picks up the first blouse on top and hands it over to me. The
tag reads extra small.
"What size pants?
One?"
"Three," I
say.
I'm not surprised when
she hands me a pair of capris in a size one.
"Why don't you try
these on? I'll wait for you outside."
"You don't have
to-" I start.
"I insist."
She turns to leave. It isn't until she's almost out the door that I
realize I should tell her about how I stapled the pants.
"Anna!" I
call out.
"Yes?" She
turns to look back.
I swallow my throat
nervously. "The pants were too long
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