him and pressed my lips to his before any thought for stopping myself occurred to me. For a breathtaking moment, Alex returned my unexpected kiss. I lifted my hands to reach for him, but he caught me by the wrists and pulled back. The next thing I knew, he was off the hood of the jeep and standing next to me.
“I cannot do this. I am sorry, I just . . . Cannot. I am not a living man, Remi.”
My lips were left cold in the wake of the halted kiss, but my cheeks burned with humiliation and wounded pride. Even through a haze of alcohol, my bravado wasn’t enough to protect my injured feelings.
“Yeah . . . Right. I shouldn’t have done that. It was inappropriate,” I said, shamed to have acted in a way that offended him.
Alex looked sympathetic, but that was the last thing I wanted from him. I slid off the jeep, less gracefully than he had, but I still managed to land on my feet. I drew myself up and squared my shoulders before I marched to the passenger side.
“I’m ready to go home now.”
TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW OF drinking was taking its toll. I hadn’t drunk myself stupid – though I was debating that after coming on to Alex – but I had a headache fit for a hangover.
I had done my remembering. This was the day I went back to normal, just like the previous two years. I believed that a time would come when it would be just another day, but I wasn’t there yet.
I found a bottle of aspirin in a desk drawer in the office, helped myself to two, and got back to work.
The last day of the month, we were busy with customers coming in to retrieve their pawned items. Many came in at the beginning of the month for loans, so it just happened to work out that way. Things were going smoothly, and Aric and I were getting people in and out without any major breaks in our pace.
Late in the afternoon, not long before I would be leaving for the day, Hugo stopped in. He spoke with Aric for a few moments before turning his attention to me. When he asked me to go into the office, I sensed that he wasn’t asking me to talk business. I fidgeted with the hem of my blouse as I went, wondering if word had already gotten around about the night before. Was it too much to hope that Alex was a gentlemen who didn’t get kissed and tell?
“How are you, Remi?” Hugo asked as he shut the door behind us.
I blinked. Not the question I was expecting.
“I’m fine, why?” I hadn’t intended to sound so defensive.
“I only wanted to check on you, mija . Yesterday was a difficult day for you,” he said.
Hugo had witnessed firsthand how much I struggled through coping with Dominic’s death. He had offered me structure: A scheduled job and a cause to hold onto. His tutelage had helped me connect the dots from the reality of Dom’s death to my father’s involvement with the Amasai. And it had been my father who trained him when he joined the Amasai, so in a way he helped me feel as though I was staying in touch with my mostly absent dad.
Some people stuck their noses too willingly into my business and it did nothing but annoy me, but Hugo’s quiet support was reassuring.
“It gets better each year.” It wasn’t a lie, even though I omitted the part about how I’d drank a little too much and made a fool of myself.
Hugo motioned toward an empty chair and I took it. He pulled up a desk chair across from me and followed suit. “We haven’t had much time to talk lately, but you know if you ever need anything . . .”
“I know. I appreciate it.” I did know. Even though our comings and goings were more frenetic these days, I didn’t feel neglected. I knew Hugo would be there when I needed him.
“There is one thing you can do for me, if you don’t mind,” I added. Taking Dylan’s job application off the desk, I handed it to Hugo. “My brother is looking for a job.”
“I take it this isn’t the lawyer?” He asked with a small smile as he took the papers from me.
I laughed. “No, it’s my younger brother. The
“I cannot do this. I am sorry, I just . . . Cannot. I am not a living man, Remi.”
My lips were left cold in the wake of the halted kiss, but my cheeks burned with humiliation and wounded pride. Even through a haze of alcohol, my bravado wasn’t enough to protect my injured feelings.
“Yeah . . . Right. I shouldn’t have done that. It was inappropriate,” I said, shamed to have acted in a way that offended him.
Alex looked sympathetic, but that was the last thing I wanted from him. I slid off the jeep, less gracefully than he had, but I still managed to land on my feet. I drew myself up and squared my shoulders before I marched to the passenger side.
“I’m ready to go home now.”
TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW OF drinking was taking its toll. I hadn’t drunk myself stupid – though I was debating that after coming on to Alex – but I had a headache fit for a hangover.
I had done my remembering. This was the day I went back to normal, just like the previous two years. I believed that a time would come when it would be just another day, but I wasn’t there yet.
I found a bottle of aspirin in a desk drawer in the office, helped myself to two, and got back to work.
The last day of the month, we were busy with customers coming in to retrieve their pawned items. Many came in at the beginning of the month for loans, so it just happened to work out that way. Things were going smoothly, and Aric and I were getting people in and out without any major breaks in our pace.
Late in the afternoon, not long before I would be leaving for the day, Hugo stopped in. He spoke with Aric for a few moments before turning his attention to me. When he asked me to go into the office, I sensed that he wasn’t asking me to talk business. I fidgeted with the hem of my blouse as I went, wondering if word had already gotten around about the night before. Was it too much to hope that Alex was a gentlemen who didn’t get kissed and tell?
“How are you, Remi?” Hugo asked as he shut the door behind us.
I blinked. Not the question I was expecting.
“I’m fine, why?” I hadn’t intended to sound so defensive.
“I only wanted to check on you, mija . Yesterday was a difficult day for you,” he said.
Hugo had witnessed firsthand how much I struggled through coping with Dominic’s death. He had offered me structure: A scheduled job and a cause to hold onto. His tutelage had helped me connect the dots from the reality of Dom’s death to my father’s involvement with the Amasai. And it had been my father who trained him when he joined the Amasai, so in a way he helped me feel as though I was staying in touch with my mostly absent dad.
Some people stuck their noses too willingly into my business and it did nothing but annoy me, but Hugo’s quiet support was reassuring.
“It gets better each year.” It wasn’t a lie, even though I omitted the part about how I’d drank a little too much and made a fool of myself.
Hugo motioned toward an empty chair and I took it. He pulled up a desk chair across from me and followed suit. “We haven’t had much time to talk lately, but you know if you ever need anything . . .”
“I know. I appreciate it.” I did know. Even though our comings and goings were more frenetic these days, I didn’t feel neglected. I knew Hugo would be there when I needed him.
“There is one thing you can do for me, if you don’t mind,” I added. Taking Dylan’s job application off the desk, I handed it to Hugo. “My brother is looking for a job.”
“I take it this isn’t the lawyer?” He asked with a small smile as he took the papers from me.
I laughed. “No, it’s my younger brother. The
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