will fall in love with someone else?” Tears hung at the corners of my eyes.
“Why are you doing this to yourself? You told him you were taking a break until you got stronger. It’s Jake we’re talking about. He’s not going to run off and get laid.”
“Becki!”
The visual of Jake with another girl created a full-body spasm, and a pain shot into my chest. I had to shake my head to rid myself of the image. Becki shrugged.
“I didn’t actually tell him it was a break. I said he deserved someone who had her shit together, but I would always love him and be his friend.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, what?”
“Well, you kinda set yourself up for that one. You gave him the carte blanche of get-out-of-jail cards. Why didn’t you just tell him you needed time?”
“Becki, Jake has waited around for me for forever. He had to wait a whole fucking semester for me to say, “I love you.” I don’t want him to feel like his life will be in limbo while I get mine together.”
“You just need a break from the pressure of a relationship while you get your head on straight...that’s all you need to tell him. You don’t need to tell him to wait. He will.”
“I hope so.” I knew in my heart Jake was not the rebound kind of guy, but Becki was right, maybe I needed to clarify my reasoning for walking away from him.
“So, where to... homeless college student?” Becki tucked a stray section of straight hair behind her ear. She always looked so perfectly put together. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, too, but hers looked like a stylist had perfectly placed each and every hair. She wore a tight, pink t-shirt, short-shorts, flip flops, silver hoop earrings, and aviators. Man, she was gorgeous. It wouldn’t be long before she’d have another guy attached to her side. Shawn was an idiot.
“Homeless? I’m not running away. I just needed to get out of my apartment.”
“No, I didn’t mean you
were
homeless, I meant you
looked
homeless.”
I glanced down at my tan UGGS, frayed jean skirt, Jake’s black Green Day shirt and let out a quiet chuckle. We walked silently to her car. I had no idea where I would tell her to go.
“I need gum.”
“Honey, you need more than gum.” Becki shook her head and threw a pack of gum from her console at me.
“Thanks.”
“Where are we running to? Wait let me guess.” She looked me up and down again and smiled. “ There’s a crazy 90’s grunge concert in the area.”
“You’re funny.” I rolled my eyes. “Just drive. And talk about something other than my fucked-up life.”
“So, this guy last night...Oh, Gracie...”
“Do tell, Becks. I can’t wait to live vicariously through you.” Perfect. I would escape my breaking heart for one of her hot sex stories any day.
She was still giving me the dirty details when we pulled into Litton’s. Becki was brilliant. A diner. Coffee and comfort food. I convinced myself that coffee was all I needed to clear my head.
After we ordered and Becki finished explaining something X-rated that, even with my creative brain, I couldn’t have invented on my own, she headed to the restroom. I was trying to figure out how one could contort their body in order to do what I thought she was telling me she had done when I felt my phone buzz against my leg.
Sam.
I answered just as the waitress brought Becki’s food and a carafe of coffee for me. I smiled to thank her, phone glued to my ear.
“Gracie,” he started talking before I even said hello. “Honey, tell me you’re okay.”
“Sam, I’m okay. I’m with Becki, and I really don’t want to talk about anything right now. I’m just trying to clear my head. How did you know—”
I was pretty sure I knew the answer to my question though he answered before I finished it.
“I just got off the phone with Jake.”
“Are you angry with me, Sam?”
“Angry? No. I’m worried about you. And him. You guys are...” His voice trailed off as Becki took her seat and started in on
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