clawing at the pages as I ripped
them from the spine. All the pathetic words of my
pathetic life scattered and skipped across the floor.
'Micki!' Kia's voice came hurtling through the room.
'Micki! What are you doing?'
'I hate my life!' I choked. 'I hate, hate' – at each 'hate'
I tore out another page – 'hate my life.'
Kia wrestled me to the ground. My arms and legs
flapped and kicked but she managed to hold me firmly
until I stopped shouting and started to breathe.
'That's right, Micki,' she whispered. 'Breathe. In and
out. In and out. Just make it to the next minute. The
pain will start to go. It's okay. It's okay.'
There was a gentle tapping on the door of the
bungalow. It snapped me to my feet. I'd heard that
thoughtful 'Don't want to interfere but is everything all
right?' knock on the door at home many times.
'Yes, thank you. Everything's fine,' I would say to
the nosey lady across the street.
But I couldn't play that here because Ace had ruined
the game.
Kia tiptoed over to the door, opening it enough to
stick her head out. I paced around listening to voices,
all female, whispering on the other side.
Kia shut the door and without a word came up to
me, took my hand and guided me into bed. I let her too
'cause I suddenly felt so tired.
'Come on,' she said, squeezing in next to me
and puffing the doona around us. 'It was just Carla and
Shyan. They said we can do our evaluation later.'
'Did they ask what was wrong?'
'No,' answered Kia. 'They just wanted to know if
you were okay.'
'Carla and Jake know,' I said and yawned, 'about my
dad.'
'Shh. It's okay.'
I snuggled into Kia's shoulder. My eyelids felt like
they had giant weights on top of them.
'You still want to come and live with us, don't you?'
'Yes. I do.'
'What happened? Just then?'
'I lost it,' I whispered. 'I snapped.'
'Don't worry,' Kia said. 'I used to do that all the
time.'
GEORGIE
'You're a natural, Jules!'
'Yeah?'
'At surfing, I mean. Actually, you're really a goofy
'cause you put your left foot in front,' I explained.
'Natural footers surf with their right one in front.'
'What are you?'
'I'm a natural, of course, sweetie!'
'Whatever you are, you're an awesome instructor,
Georgie,' Jules said. 'Or as you guys say, a "heaps good"
instructor.'
Jules and I were walking back along the beach. The
gooey sand felt cold as it oozed between my toes. We'd
had to surf down the southern end of Coolina, almost
in front of the rock, 'cause Jake said I wasn't allowed to
take Jules out in front because that was reserved for
elite surf institute surfers only. La-di-da!
For a second I'd contemplated arguing with Jake.
Number one, how would anyone know that Jules
wasn't from here? He looked fit enough. But just as I
was coming up with number two, I realised that it was
better for everyone, namely me, if we surfed as far
away as possible.
Imagine Megan spotting us! She'd be out there
snaking and hassling us on the waves. She'd be shouting
out rude things to Jules like she did that night at the
sushi-train restaurant. It would be totally humiliating.
And if Kia and Micki got the bright idea to paddle
out and join us they'd probably turn into giggling
idiots, which'd make Jules think that because I was
their friend I was a giggling idiot too.
The south end of Coolina beach didn't have the
beautiful long peeling left that the north end had but
there was still heaps of fun to be had out there. Jules
wasn't too bad. He'd ridden the first couple of waves
on his knees. Then he got nailed over and over for
about the next twenty minutes. But he hung in there
and didn't give up. By the end he was on his feet. No
turns or anything but he was heaps stoked.
'I want to get tubed or barrelled as you guys say.' He
was talking fast. 'Ace reckons it's the best feeling ever.'
'She's right. It's unbelievable,' I replied. 'The first
time you're so scared but so pumped and excited. I
remember I had my eyes closed, like squeezed really
tight closed. Then I opened
them from the spine. All the pathetic words of my
pathetic life scattered and skipped across the floor.
'Micki!' Kia's voice came hurtling through the room.
'Micki! What are you doing?'
'I hate my life!' I choked. 'I hate, hate' – at each 'hate'
I tore out another page – 'hate my life.'
Kia wrestled me to the ground. My arms and legs
flapped and kicked but she managed to hold me firmly
until I stopped shouting and started to breathe.
'That's right, Micki,' she whispered. 'Breathe. In and
out. In and out. Just make it to the next minute. The
pain will start to go. It's okay. It's okay.'
There was a gentle tapping on the door of the
bungalow. It snapped me to my feet. I'd heard that
thoughtful 'Don't want to interfere but is everything all
right?' knock on the door at home many times.
'Yes, thank you. Everything's fine,' I would say to
the nosey lady across the street.
But I couldn't play that here because Ace had ruined
the game.
Kia tiptoed over to the door, opening it enough to
stick her head out. I paced around listening to voices,
all female, whispering on the other side.
Kia shut the door and without a word came up to
me, took my hand and guided me into bed. I let her too
'cause I suddenly felt so tired.
'Come on,' she said, squeezing in next to me
and puffing the doona around us. 'It was just Carla and
Shyan. They said we can do our evaluation later.'
'Did they ask what was wrong?'
'No,' answered Kia. 'They just wanted to know if
you were okay.'
'Carla and Jake know,' I said and yawned, 'about my
dad.'
'Shh. It's okay.'
I snuggled into Kia's shoulder. My eyelids felt like
they had giant weights on top of them.
'You still want to come and live with us, don't you?'
'Yes. I do.'
'What happened? Just then?'
'I lost it,' I whispered. 'I snapped.'
'Don't worry,' Kia said. 'I used to do that all the
time.'
GEORGIE
'You're a natural, Jules!'
'Yeah?'
'At surfing, I mean. Actually, you're really a goofy
'cause you put your left foot in front,' I explained.
'Natural footers surf with their right one in front.'
'What are you?'
'I'm a natural, of course, sweetie!'
'Whatever you are, you're an awesome instructor,
Georgie,' Jules said. 'Or as you guys say, a "heaps good"
instructor.'
Jules and I were walking back along the beach. The
gooey sand felt cold as it oozed between my toes. We'd
had to surf down the southern end of Coolina, almost
in front of the rock, 'cause Jake said I wasn't allowed to
take Jules out in front because that was reserved for
elite surf institute surfers only. La-di-da!
For a second I'd contemplated arguing with Jake.
Number one, how would anyone know that Jules
wasn't from here? He looked fit enough. But just as I
was coming up with number two, I realised that it was
better for everyone, namely me, if we surfed as far
away as possible.
Imagine Megan spotting us! She'd be out there
snaking and hassling us on the waves. She'd be shouting
out rude things to Jules like she did that night at the
sushi-train restaurant. It would be totally humiliating.
And if Kia and Micki got the bright idea to paddle
out and join us they'd probably turn into giggling
idiots, which'd make Jules think that because I was
their friend I was a giggling idiot too.
The south end of Coolina beach didn't have the
beautiful long peeling left that the north end had but
there was still heaps of fun to be had out there. Jules
wasn't too bad. He'd ridden the first couple of waves
on his knees. Then he got nailed over and over for
about the next twenty minutes. But he hung in there
and didn't give up. By the end he was on his feet. No
turns or anything but he was heaps stoked.
'I want to get tubed or barrelled as you guys say.' He
was talking fast. 'Ace reckons it's the best feeling ever.'
'She's right. It's unbelievable,' I replied. 'The first
time you're so scared but so pumped and excited. I
remember I had my eyes closed, like squeezed really
tight closed. Then I opened
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