could just tend to the garden, have babies – do some charity work, if you wanted.’
‘You’ve got to be joking.’ Amanda burst out laughing. ‘Could you really see me stuck in a house having babies?’ she asked incredulously.
Adrian smiled gently. ‘Oh, yes. And they’d be beautiful babies, with dark hair and your beautiful smile. I’d love to come home and see that.’
Amanda realised he was serious. ‘Adrian, I don’t think I’m that sort of person. I couldn’t be tied to the house or garden. Yes, one day I’d love to have children, but it wouldn’t tie me to the house – they’d be out in the ute with me. I’d want to teach them all the things Dad would have taught me if only I’d let him. I want them to love the land the way I do and . . .’ She stopped as she saw his face and felt the guilt shoot through her. ‘Sorry, Adrian. You took me by surprise.’ She took a deep breath, inwardly berating herself. Adrian had been so kind – how could she kick him in the teeth like she had just done? The pain on his face was clear as he took another sip of wine.
‘Obviously I was wrong about us, Mandy,’ he said eventually. ‘I’m sorry I’ve put you in an awkward position. I apologise.’
Impulsively she reached out and took his hand. ‘Let me think about it Adrian, please. I just wasn’t expecting declarations of love that’s all. Please?’
He smiled wanly. ‘Sure.’
The trip back to Esperance was a quiet one.
Chapter 19
Fighting back tears, Kathleen boarded the train that ran between Esperance and Kalgoorlie. It was the slow train that ran all year round, stopping every half-hour at small settlements, to drop off supplies. She knew it would be a long time before she reached her destination.
Kathleen entered a compartment with two padded seats facing each other, stored her bag in the luggage rack, and tried to make herself comfortable.
She clutched her purse and a small bag of food for the journey, as well as a small wrapped gift that her mother had pushed into her hand before she boarded the train. Then, looking out of the window, she tried to find her mother. Mama was standing near the ticket counter talking with one of her neighbours, a German lady who had not long moved to Esperance.
Mama smiled as she spoke, and Kathleen knew that no one would ever see her mother’s pain. She watched as Mama gestured with her hands and could almost imagine the conversation.
‘Kathleen is off on a small adventure, Anna, yes?’
‘That’s right, Christiana, I’ve family at Kalgoorlie and she’s going there for a small holiday. Besides, she struggles with the cold air during the bitter winters. It gives her terrible trouble with her chest. Doctor Jamieson and I thought she might be better off in the warmer climate of Kalgoorlie at this time of year.’
‘A good idea, yes . . .’
Kathleen felt her stomach and the small bump that was there. It wasn’t her chest that would be the problem soon, it would be the baby. It wasn’t family she was going to stay with, but a home for fallen women that her mother had found out about through discreet enquiries.
Leaning her head against the cabin window, she secretly caressed the bump and thought miserably about her condition. Her mother had presumed the baby was Michael’s, which Kathleen had denied, while refusing to name the real father. Her mother had been angry at first, but finally accepted what could not be changed. She had come up with the idea that Kathleen should leave Esperance, and return in a few years with the story of a dead husband.
Without warning, the train lurched forward and a cloud of steam blew past the window. Panicked suddenly, Kathleen, yanked the window down and leaned out as the train slowly chugged forward, groaning with the weight of the carriages behind.
A feeling of isolation enveloped her as she swayed with the movement of the train. Her mother, in an uncharacteristic display of affection, ran alongside the train and held out
‘You’ve got to be joking.’ Amanda burst out laughing. ‘Could you really see me stuck in a house having babies?’ she asked incredulously.
Adrian smiled gently. ‘Oh, yes. And they’d be beautiful babies, with dark hair and your beautiful smile. I’d love to come home and see that.’
Amanda realised he was serious. ‘Adrian, I don’t think I’m that sort of person. I couldn’t be tied to the house or garden. Yes, one day I’d love to have children, but it wouldn’t tie me to the house – they’d be out in the ute with me. I’d want to teach them all the things Dad would have taught me if only I’d let him. I want them to love the land the way I do and . . .’ She stopped as she saw his face and felt the guilt shoot through her. ‘Sorry, Adrian. You took me by surprise.’ She took a deep breath, inwardly berating herself. Adrian had been so kind – how could she kick him in the teeth like she had just done? The pain on his face was clear as he took another sip of wine.
‘Obviously I was wrong about us, Mandy,’ he said eventually. ‘I’m sorry I’ve put you in an awkward position. I apologise.’
Impulsively she reached out and took his hand. ‘Let me think about it Adrian, please. I just wasn’t expecting declarations of love that’s all. Please?’
He smiled wanly. ‘Sure.’
The trip back to Esperance was a quiet one.
Chapter 19
Fighting back tears, Kathleen boarded the train that ran between Esperance and Kalgoorlie. It was the slow train that ran all year round, stopping every half-hour at small settlements, to drop off supplies. She knew it would be a long time before she reached her destination.
Kathleen entered a compartment with two padded seats facing each other, stored her bag in the luggage rack, and tried to make herself comfortable.
She clutched her purse and a small bag of food for the journey, as well as a small wrapped gift that her mother had pushed into her hand before she boarded the train. Then, looking out of the window, she tried to find her mother. Mama was standing near the ticket counter talking with one of her neighbours, a German lady who had not long moved to Esperance.
Mama smiled as she spoke, and Kathleen knew that no one would ever see her mother’s pain. She watched as Mama gestured with her hands and could almost imagine the conversation.
‘Kathleen is off on a small adventure, Anna, yes?’
‘That’s right, Christiana, I’ve family at Kalgoorlie and she’s going there for a small holiday. Besides, she struggles with the cold air during the bitter winters. It gives her terrible trouble with her chest. Doctor Jamieson and I thought she might be better off in the warmer climate of Kalgoorlie at this time of year.’
‘A good idea, yes . . .’
Kathleen felt her stomach and the small bump that was there. It wasn’t her chest that would be the problem soon, it would be the baby. It wasn’t family she was going to stay with, but a home for fallen women that her mother had found out about through discreet enquiries.
Leaning her head against the cabin window, she secretly caressed the bump and thought miserably about her condition. Her mother had presumed the baby was Michael’s, which Kathleen had denied, while refusing to name the real father. Her mother had been angry at first, but finally accepted what could not be changed. She had come up with the idea that Kathleen should leave Esperance, and return in a few years with the story of a dead husband.
Without warning, the train lurched forward and a cloud of steam blew past the window. Panicked suddenly, Kathleen, yanked the window down and leaned out as the train slowly chugged forward, groaning with the weight of the carriages behind.
A feeling of isolation enveloped her as she swayed with the movement of the train. Her mother, in an uncharacteristic display of affection, ran alongside the train and held out
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