“Well, I figured it was probably over the night my brother tried to kill him.”
Chapter Eleven
“I’m sorry. Did you say your brother tried to kill your boyfriend? Like, literally?” The words circled in Danny’s head, an incomprehensible jumble of sounds.
He watched Brad kick at the loose dirt of the path, staring at the ground. Finally Brad looked up. “I shouldn’t have told you. It’s... My head’s all messed up.”
“Is it true?” Danny reached for Brad’s trembling hand, twining their fingers together.
Brad’s grip tightened convulsively. “Yeah.” His voice broke. “Shit. Yeah, he did.” His whole body slumped.
Danny pulled Brad toward a big boulder. “Come on, sit. Tell me about it?” He made the last sentence a request. It was obvious Brad needed to get some of this out, but he didn’t want to come off as demanding.
Brad scooted onto the boulder and folded his arms across his bent knees. Danny hopped up next to him. He didn’t push, didn’t pressure. He sat there, waiting for Brad to start talking.
“Carson and I went to the same school, but our paths never really crossed. One day I heard my brother and a couple of his buddies going on about some fag club that had opened up downtown, and how ridiculous it was, how disgusting.” Brad rested his forehead against his arms.
“It got me thinking.” His voice was a little muffled. “I’ve known I was gay since I was fourteen, but I never said anything, especially not to my family. My brother, in particular, wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t accept. He loved me. I know he did. He looked out for me, protected me the way big brothers are supposed to. I loved him.” He lifted his head, showing red-rimmed gray eyes.
“Of course you did,” Danny reassured him.
“I was a coward. I didn’t want my brother to hate me, so I hid it from him.”
“You don’t mention your parents. You weren’t nervous about their reaction?”
Brad swiped a hand under his eyes, though there weren’t any tears to wipe away. “Not at the time. I mean, I knew they wouldn’t approve, but it was my brother I didn’t want to disappoint. I was deluding myself. I figured my parents were busy enough and disinterested enough in my life they wouldn’t notice what I did, as long as I didn’t get arrested.” His head fell back to his knees and he let out a weary chuckle. “Christ, that’s ironic.”
“How so?”
“I’m getting there,” Brad said. “Anyway, I overheard my brother talking shit about this club. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I decided I was going to go. A moment of rebellion or a moment of crazy. Who knows?”
After a long pause, Danny prompted, “You went to the club?”
“They had an underage night, no alcohol. Man, the place was amazing. Scary and cool, all at once. All these pretty boys dancing and hanging out, having a good time. I was as out of place there as I was at one of my parents’ parties, so I kind of hung out along the wall, watching. And I saw him.”
“Him?”
“Carson. The soccer hottie. My first thought was
shit!
Running into someone from school was not part of the plan. Not that I had a big plan, but, yeah, getting caught at a gay club freaked me out. What if he said something to someone? I spent the next hour watching him and debating whether or not I should say something. Finally I got my nerve up and approached him. I asked him to not say anything to anyone at school. He agreed and we got to talking. Things sort of grew from there. Next thing I know, we’re going out.”
“You didn’t tell your brother?” Danny stroked Brad’s back. Brad had begun to rock in place while he stared blankly at his shoes.
“I was too afraid. Carson and I kept it a secret. If someone asked where I was going or what I was doing, I would say I had a study group or something. At school I wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. No one could know. I even had a cheap cell phone my family didn’t know
Chapter Eleven
“I’m sorry. Did you say your brother tried to kill your boyfriend? Like, literally?” The words circled in Danny’s head, an incomprehensible jumble of sounds.
He watched Brad kick at the loose dirt of the path, staring at the ground. Finally Brad looked up. “I shouldn’t have told you. It’s... My head’s all messed up.”
“Is it true?” Danny reached for Brad’s trembling hand, twining their fingers together.
Brad’s grip tightened convulsively. “Yeah.” His voice broke. “Shit. Yeah, he did.” His whole body slumped.
Danny pulled Brad toward a big boulder. “Come on, sit. Tell me about it?” He made the last sentence a request. It was obvious Brad needed to get some of this out, but he didn’t want to come off as demanding.
Brad scooted onto the boulder and folded his arms across his bent knees. Danny hopped up next to him. He didn’t push, didn’t pressure. He sat there, waiting for Brad to start talking.
“Carson and I went to the same school, but our paths never really crossed. One day I heard my brother and a couple of his buddies going on about some fag club that had opened up downtown, and how ridiculous it was, how disgusting.” Brad rested his forehead against his arms.
“It got me thinking.” His voice was a little muffled. “I’ve known I was gay since I was fourteen, but I never said anything, especially not to my family. My brother, in particular, wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t accept. He loved me. I know he did. He looked out for me, protected me the way big brothers are supposed to. I loved him.” He lifted his head, showing red-rimmed gray eyes.
“Of course you did,” Danny reassured him.
“I was a coward. I didn’t want my brother to hate me, so I hid it from him.”
“You don’t mention your parents. You weren’t nervous about their reaction?”
Brad swiped a hand under his eyes, though there weren’t any tears to wipe away. “Not at the time. I mean, I knew they wouldn’t approve, but it was my brother I didn’t want to disappoint. I was deluding myself. I figured my parents were busy enough and disinterested enough in my life they wouldn’t notice what I did, as long as I didn’t get arrested.” His head fell back to his knees and he let out a weary chuckle. “Christ, that’s ironic.”
“How so?”
“I’m getting there,” Brad said. “Anyway, I overheard my brother talking shit about this club. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I decided I was going to go. A moment of rebellion or a moment of crazy. Who knows?”
After a long pause, Danny prompted, “You went to the club?”
“They had an underage night, no alcohol. Man, the place was amazing. Scary and cool, all at once. All these pretty boys dancing and hanging out, having a good time. I was as out of place there as I was at one of my parents’ parties, so I kind of hung out along the wall, watching. And I saw him.”
“Him?”
“Carson. The soccer hottie. My first thought was
shit!
Running into someone from school was not part of the plan. Not that I had a big plan, but, yeah, getting caught at a gay club freaked me out. What if he said something to someone? I spent the next hour watching him and debating whether or not I should say something. Finally I got my nerve up and approached him. I asked him to not say anything to anyone at school. He agreed and we got to talking. Things sort of grew from there. Next thing I know, we’re going out.”
“You didn’t tell your brother?” Danny stroked Brad’s back. Brad had begun to rock in place while he stared blankly at his shoes.
“I was too afraid. Carson and I kept it a secret. If someone asked where I was going or what I was doing, I would say I had a study group or something. At school I wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. No one could know. I even had a cheap cell phone my family didn’t know
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