No Way to Treat a First Lady by Christopher Buckley Page B

own forehead.
    "Did the mark appear suspicious to you in any way?"
    "Objection."
    Another sidebar. Millions of Americans began to wonder if maybe they would just catch the highlights on the evening news.
    "You may answer the question, Agent Whepson."
    "Since this mark was on the body of a dead president, yes, I definitely viewed it with great interest."
    "What else did you observe that alerted your professional instincts?"
    "There was a silver object about this size"—he indicated with his hands—"lying on the floor. I did not recognize what it was. It was lying on its side."
    "Did you personally touch this object?"
    "No. When I determined—I subsequently directed that the crime scene techs, the technicians, examine it using standard procedure."
    "That is, using protective latex gloves?"
    "That's correct."
    "Was the First Lady present?"
    "Yes, she was."
    "And where exactly was she?"
    "She was in the bathroom."
    "Did you observe or hear anything that suggested the reason she was in the bathroom?"
    "Yes. The sounds I heard coming from the bathroom were consistent with those of a person who was vomiting."
    "Throwing up?" Just in case any of the jurors were unclear as to the meaning of vomit.
    "Did you speak with Mrs. MacMann?"
    "After she ceased vomiting? Yes. I identified myself to her and asked her to tell me what had happened."
    "And what did she tell you?"
    "She said that she had gone to bed at approximately twelve-thirty. There had been a state dinner for the President of Uruguay. She told me that she was woken up by a noise at some point in the night, she did not know when, and had gone back to sleep. She then woke up at six-fifteen, her usual waking time, ordered breakfast in bed. It was when the maid, Ms. Williams, entered with the breakfast that it became clear that the President had been—was dead."
    "Did she describe to you the noise that woke her up in the night?"
    "She used the word thump."
    "Did she tell you that she had investigated the source of this thump?"
    "I specifically asked her that, and she replied that she had not investigated it. She said she went back to sleep."
    "What was Mrs. MacMann's state of mind when you had this discussion?"
    "Objection. The question is entirely subjective. Agent Whepson has no competence as a psychologist."
    "Overruled."
    "Your Honor."
    "Mr. Baylor. You may answer the question, Agent Whepson."
    "I would describe her as calm."
    "Was she tearful?"
    "Objection. Leading, Your Honor."
    "Sustained."
    "How did you find Mrs. MacMann, Agent Whepson?"
    "She did not seem upset except for the fact of throwing up."
    "Objection. Inference. Mrs. MacMann might have eaten something that did not agree with her."
    "Sustained."
    "Did she express any emotion to you consistent with that of a woman who had just lost her husband?"
    "Objection. Agent Whepson was not there in the capacity of grief counselor. Your Honor, I find the prosecution's line here troubling."
    "Sustained."
    "Did she say anything to you other than her description of the events of the evening and morning?"
    "No, she did not."
    "What did you then do?"
    "I made a determination that we—that is, the FBI—needed to examine the premises thoroughly."
    "Why did you make that determination?"
    "To see if there was further evidence of foul play."
    This prompted a rip-snorting twenty-minute sidebar in which Boyce and Sandy Clintick could be seen hissing at each other like geese. Judge Dutch's glasses kept fogging. He instructed the jury to disregard Agent Whepson's use of the words farther and foul play and adjourned for the day.
    The TV commentary that night featured detailed analysis by criminologists, gastroenterologists, and psychologists on the subject of vomiting in general and whether doing it in the presence of law enforcement is a reliable indicator of guilt.
    Reporters who had covered Ken MacMann when he was governor discussed the fact that Beth had experienced two difficult pregnancies that ended in miscarriages. Mrs. MacMann