want Lexi. Lexi needs me to do my job, and keep her safe. This, whatever I’m feeling, whatever was happening between us, is over.
Chapter Fifteen
—-♥—-
L exi
My heart is attempting to burst out of my chest, threatening to leave a gaping hole that will let me collapse into an ooey-gooey-I’m-falling-for-the-sexy-boy-who-hates-me puddle. At the same time, my emotions are racing like a Nascar driver trying to conserve fuel—careening ahead, but pulling back to protect myself from the inevitable moment where I don’t have enough left to give. I’m falling for Kevin and he’s... I don’t know what. Using me to propel himself forward out of whatever self-imposed prison he’s been living in, maybe? I’ve seen the way he looks when he thinks I’m not looking. Something in him is dark and haunted, and maybe that’s all this is.
I desperately hope I misunderstood. Maybe I’m not really falling. Maybe I just want something I’ve never had and he’s...he’s what? Hot. That much is easy to see. Tormented, too. A little too gruff, but always there for me. So why am I so determined to hate him? He constantly does little things to make me happy. Giving in about the dorm without too much of a fight. Searching for my stuff. Getting me drinks when I’m in a hurry. That’s got to be more than just a job, right? Giving in to an urge, I reach out, intending to lightly touch his cheek. “Kevin, wait—”
My hand doesn’t make it there. His fingers snap out quickly, striking with the speed of one highly trained, grabbing my wrist with enough force to stop me, and yet enough gentleness that I feel no pain—not physically at least. “No. Don’t do this to yourself. You should go visit with your friends.” He jerks his head coolly toward our table, but only once I nod in submission does he release me, peeling his fingers away from my skin, yet leaving the feel of him branded around my wrist. The sudden feelings churning within me shackle me just as his hand just did.
Oh hell no! I don’t know what that was between us, but I’m not letting it go without a fight. I felt something, and I know damn well he did too. I dart toward him, taking his face between both of my hands, and press my lips to Kevin’s. His jawbone is covered in a light coating of stubble, and it’s rough beneath my hands, which only works me up more. I don’t want kid-gloves and tenderness—not right now—though I know I’ll want it someday. Right now I just want raw and primal and real. I need to feel something unscripted, something reckless, and I’m sure that beneath his carefully controlled exterior, Kevin is exactly that. My breasts press against his rigid chest, and at first it’s like he’s frozen in shock, but then for just a moment he softens. His body molds to mine, his tongue flicks along my lower lip, tasting me, and I groan into his mouth.
I want more, but apparently he doesn’t. With deliberate care, Kevin is prying me off him, leaving me to look like a needy, rejected fool. Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to hang my head. It was worth a try, and I would have kicked myself for not taking the chance. I expected to get my heart broken in college—hell, maybe I even wanted it. But I didn’t think it would be in the first week. I’m struggling in my class and seriously considering drowning my sorrows over a boy—looks like I’m adapting to college life just freaking fine.
This. This is why I’m determined to hate him. No matter how much chemistry there is between us, he doesn’t want it, and hating him is better than lusting after him.
Blinded by my own shame, I weave through the crowd, making a beeline for our table. I don’t know if Kevin is behind me or not, and I don’t care one way or the other. Bodies are packed tightly around the bar and the tables in the seating area, and I constantly bump into other people as I push through. I discard apologies around me as I go, but my words are flat and as easily
Chapter Fifteen
—-♥—-
L exi
My heart is attempting to burst out of my chest, threatening to leave a gaping hole that will let me collapse into an ooey-gooey-I’m-falling-for-the-sexy-boy-who-hates-me puddle. At the same time, my emotions are racing like a Nascar driver trying to conserve fuel—careening ahead, but pulling back to protect myself from the inevitable moment where I don’t have enough left to give. I’m falling for Kevin and he’s... I don’t know what. Using me to propel himself forward out of whatever self-imposed prison he’s been living in, maybe? I’ve seen the way he looks when he thinks I’m not looking. Something in him is dark and haunted, and maybe that’s all this is.
I desperately hope I misunderstood. Maybe I’m not really falling. Maybe I just want something I’ve never had and he’s...he’s what? Hot. That much is easy to see. Tormented, too. A little too gruff, but always there for me. So why am I so determined to hate him? He constantly does little things to make me happy. Giving in about the dorm without too much of a fight. Searching for my stuff. Getting me drinks when I’m in a hurry. That’s got to be more than just a job, right? Giving in to an urge, I reach out, intending to lightly touch his cheek. “Kevin, wait—”
My hand doesn’t make it there. His fingers snap out quickly, striking with the speed of one highly trained, grabbing my wrist with enough force to stop me, and yet enough gentleness that I feel no pain—not physically at least. “No. Don’t do this to yourself. You should go visit with your friends.” He jerks his head coolly toward our table, but only once I nod in submission does he release me, peeling his fingers away from my skin, yet leaving the feel of him branded around my wrist. The sudden feelings churning within me shackle me just as his hand just did.
Oh hell no! I don’t know what that was between us, but I’m not letting it go without a fight. I felt something, and I know damn well he did too. I dart toward him, taking his face between both of my hands, and press my lips to Kevin’s. His jawbone is covered in a light coating of stubble, and it’s rough beneath my hands, which only works me up more. I don’t want kid-gloves and tenderness—not right now—though I know I’ll want it someday. Right now I just want raw and primal and real. I need to feel something unscripted, something reckless, and I’m sure that beneath his carefully controlled exterior, Kevin is exactly that. My breasts press against his rigid chest, and at first it’s like he’s frozen in shock, but then for just a moment he softens. His body molds to mine, his tongue flicks along my lower lip, tasting me, and I groan into his mouth.
I want more, but apparently he doesn’t. With deliberate care, Kevin is prying me off him, leaving me to look like a needy, rejected fool. Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to hang my head. It was worth a try, and I would have kicked myself for not taking the chance. I expected to get my heart broken in college—hell, maybe I even wanted it. But I didn’t think it would be in the first week. I’m struggling in my class and seriously considering drowning my sorrows over a boy—looks like I’m adapting to college life just freaking fine.
This. This is why I’m determined to hate him. No matter how much chemistry there is between us, he doesn’t want it, and hating him is better than lusting after him.
Blinded by my own shame, I weave through the crowd, making a beeline for our table. I don’t know if Kevin is behind me or not, and I don’t care one way or the other. Bodies are packed tightly around the bar and the tables in the seating area, and I constantly bump into other people as I push through. I discard apologies around me as I go, but my words are flat and as easily
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