stairs. “I’ll be down soon, Father.”
The silence, after she had gone upstairs, was unpleasantly heavy—for both of them, it seemed, since they both began to talk at once.
Lisa said, “Kate doesn’t often—”
And he said, “It seemed to me—”
Lisa laughed. “I’m sorry. Go ahead.”
Was she determined to speak of nothing but Kate? He couldn’t let her get away with it, even if Kate was the obvious reason for his being here. He was oppressed suddenly by a peculiar sense of frustration, as if he had gotten here only to find that his daughter had already gone away on vacation.
“I suppose it all seems pretty ironical to you,” he said.
“What does, Roy?” she asked calmly.
“Why… my coming out like this … fancy car, fancy clothes, after all these years. It’s just what you always wanted for me.”
“Of course I did.”
There was neither bitterness nor resentment in her voice; yet perhaps she was giving him the needle in a peculiarly subtle way, against which he had no defense.
“It’s what you always wanted for yourself too,” he went on stubbornly.
At last her smile seemed to turn a little sour. “Not always,” she corrected him. “Only when you knew me. I mean, when we were married.”
He looked at her incredulously. “And after I left, you changed?”
“Not exactly. But my life became all Kate, a hundred per cent. Then when time went by I sort of resigned myself to staying here. I knew you weren’t having such an easy time of it either, so I really didn’t hate you. And besides, I knew the day would come when you’d really make it.” She added firmly, “That I always knew.”
He leaned forward and said, with a kind of feeble desperation, “But Lisa, you
knew
how I hated the idea. You
knew
what I actually wanted out of life.”
Her smile became almost malicious. She glanced down at her knitting. “But then you changed, too, didn’t you, after you left? You must have. And I knew you would, because sooner or later you’d have to realize what was right for you. I always told you, you had the voice for it, and the figure, and you had the personality too. And now when I turn on the TV and watch you every Saturday, it’s just as though all of those old dreams have come true.”
Dreams come true … Good God, he thought, she can be cruel… or does she listen to soap operas all day, while she reads about me in the gossip columns and waits to see me at night on the screen? He got to his feet angrily, and in his clumsiness almost knocked over the floor lamp at his elbow.
“What is it, Roy?” Lisa asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Don’t you remember the fights at all any more? Don’t you remember how I used to swear that I’d never get caught in the success trap?”
“You were young then. We both were. But every time I hear you on the radio, or see you on TV, I know that I was justified in predicting what I did.” She hesitated. “I’m very proud of you, Roy, even though we couldn’t stick it out together. Kate is too—you can see that without my telling you. In fact the whole community is. People stop me on the street.”
There came to his mind then, as he stood nervously picking at the fringe of the lamp, a conversation he had had not long ago with Minerva, with whom he had been living off and on ever since the war. “You don’t even understand,” she had said, “why that poor woman still keeps your name.” “No,” he had muttered, “unless it’s to get even with me in some way.” “Nonsense. It makes her a big shot in town, that’s all. She probably still thinks you’re wonderful.” She smiled crookedly. “Just like I do.”
He said in a choked voice, “You don’t dislike me then, Lisa. You don’t hold anything against me?”
She shook her head slowly. “Not any more. I used to, but not any more. Things worked out the way they had to. I’m glad for you, too.”
“Thank you.” It was impossible now to tell her any of the things he
The silence, after she had gone upstairs, was unpleasantly heavy—for both of them, it seemed, since they both began to talk at once.
Lisa said, “Kate doesn’t often—”
And he said, “It seemed to me—”
Lisa laughed. “I’m sorry. Go ahead.”
Was she determined to speak of nothing but Kate? He couldn’t let her get away with it, even if Kate was the obvious reason for his being here. He was oppressed suddenly by a peculiar sense of frustration, as if he had gotten here only to find that his daughter had already gone away on vacation.
“I suppose it all seems pretty ironical to you,” he said.
“What does, Roy?” she asked calmly.
“Why… my coming out like this … fancy car, fancy clothes, after all these years. It’s just what you always wanted for me.”
“Of course I did.”
There was neither bitterness nor resentment in her voice; yet perhaps she was giving him the needle in a peculiarly subtle way, against which he had no defense.
“It’s what you always wanted for yourself too,” he went on stubbornly.
At last her smile seemed to turn a little sour. “Not always,” she corrected him. “Only when you knew me. I mean, when we were married.”
He looked at her incredulously. “And after I left, you changed?”
“Not exactly. But my life became all Kate, a hundred per cent. Then when time went by I sort of resigned myself to staying here. I knew you weren’t having such an easy time of it either, so I really didn’t hate you. And besides, I knew the day would come when you’d really make it.” She added firmly, “That I always knew.”
He leaned forward and said, with a kind of feeble desperation, “But Lisa, you
knew
how I hated the idea. You
knew
what I actually wanted out of life.”
Her smile became almost malicious. She glanced down at her knitting. “But then you changed, too, didn’t you, after you left? You must have. And I knew you would, because sooner or later you’d have to realize what was right for you. I always told you, you had the voice for it, and the figure, and you had the personality too. And now when I turn on the TV and watch you every Saturday, it’s just as though all of those old dreams have come true.”
Dreams come true … Good God, he thought, she can be cruel… or does she listen to soap operas all day, while she reads about me in the gossip columns and waits to see me at night on the screen? He got to his feet angrily, and in his clumsiness almost knocked over the floor lamp at his elbow.
“What is it, Roy?” Lisa asked. “Is something wrong?”
“Don’t you remember the fights at all any more? Don’t you remember how I used to swear that I’d never get caught in the success trap?”
“You were young then. We both were. But every time I hear you on the radio, or see you on TV, I know that I was justified in predicting what I did.” She hesitated. “I’m very proud of you, Roy, even though we couldn’t stick it out together. Kate is too—you can see that without my telling you. In fact the whole community is. People stop me on the street.”
There came to his mind then, as he stood nervously picking at the fringe of the lamp, a conversation he had had not long ago with Minerva, with whom he had been living off and on ever since the war. “You don’t even understand,” she had said, “why that poor woman still keeps your name.” “No,” he had muttered, “unless it’s to get even with me in some way.” “Nonsense. It makes her a big shot in town, that’s all. She probably still thinks you’re wonderful.” She smiled crookedly. “Just like I do.”
He said in a choked voice, “You don’t dislike me then, Lisa. You don’t hold anything against me?”
She shook her head slowly. “Not any more. I used to, but not any more. Things worked out the way they had to. I’m glad for you, too.”
“Thank you.” It was impossible now to tell her any of the things he
Similar Books
