materialistic aspects that one quality I never possessed is affection.
Abdul perceives the relationship between my mother and I as perfect, but the affectionate love is missing, which is why I never knew how to be that way with him. I think I sometimes wanted a chase, and he lacks the “chase”. I want to be the cat sometimes, but he won’t ever allow me to be. It gets boring being the mouse often!
I looked around the dining room area looking for my keys; Abdul would always say I had a bad short-term memory because I never knew where I put anything. I remember walking in the house with my keys in my hand when I came from the studio, but don’t remember where in the hell they are.
“New message,” my phone alerted but I ignored it as I searched for the keys to get to John Hopkins Hospital, as soon as possible to accompany Ms. Bridget and the family.
“New message,” the phone alerted again. I ignored it, still searching for my keys & noticed it was lying under the love seat I sat on. I grabbed my phone & headed towards the door, and read the messages on my phone.
“I am sorry to hear that about Roger, what hospital is his body at,” my mother asked in the message, but I went to the next message before responding.
“Hey baby, are you still coming over tonight,” an unknown number asked, as my face was puzzled.
….
I arrived to the hospital at twelve thirty three a.m. and noticed Ms. Bridget & the Bennett family crying in the lobby. How was I going to gather my inner self to see his lifeless body?
“Hey dear,” Ms. Bridget said as she stood up to hug me and continued to cry.
“Hello Ms. Bridget, I am sorry about this loss. You know he was like a father to me,” I said laying my head on her shoulder.
“Yes, and you were like the son he never had. Of course, after having four girls,” she laughed while crying.
“Yeah,” I laughed with tears in my eyes.
“Do you want to see his body as you last remembered him,” she asked.
“Oh no, I don’t think I can do that. Was he in a bad condition,” I asked.
“Why don’t you come in, and see,” she exclaimed grabbing my hand to lead me to the emergency room his body laid in.
There he was lying on the hospital bed with a neck-brace on, and his eyes were closed. His face channeled the definition of peace with a permanent smile. For a split second, I thought he was asleep but when the idea of him never awaking & or critiquing a song anymore, it literally killed me.
“Nicolas, are you okay,” she asked.
“Yes, I’m fine---I just…” I suddenly felt the chunks rush my esophagus and vomited in the plastic trash can in the room.
“Come on, sweetheart. I don’t think you should no longer be in here,” Ms. Bridget said rubbing my shoulders & walking me out of the room.
“I am so sorry, I just can’t do this. I could never deal with death, Ms. Bridget. I don’t know how to.”
“Well, the best way to deal with any situation is to allow yourself to express your emotions. If you feel like you need to cry, then cry! If you feel like you want to laugh, then laugh! It will make life easier for you, if you face the truths & not live in denial,” she said. I found myself questioning God about why he took an angel so early from us, but who am I to question God? If there even is a God! But it has to be, right?
“Thank you, Ms. Bridget. Is there anything you need before I leave,” I asked.
“I don’t believe so, but I will give you a call to inform you about the funeral arrangements and so on,” she said.
“Okay, well you take care. And tell the girls, I love them,” I said.
“Okay dear, be safe & take care. I’m about to tell the doctors to retrieve his body,” she hesitantly said.
“Okay, bye Ms. Bridget,” I hugged her and strolled outside the Shock Trauma unit of the hospital.
I got in the car & turned the engine only to hear Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together” playing on the radio. It felt like a convulsion of emotions suddenly spilled out
Abdul perceives the relationship between my mother and I as perfect, but the affectionate love is missing, which is why I never knew how to be that way with him. I think I sometimes wanted a chase, and he lacks the “chase”. I want to be the cat sometimes, but he won’t ever allow me to be. It gets boring being the mouse often!
I looked around the dining room area looking for my keys; Abdul would always say I had a bad short-term memory because I never knew where I put anything. I remember walking in the house with my keys in my hand when I came from the studio, but don’t remember where in the hell they are.
“New message,” my phone alerted but I ignored it as I searched for the keys to get to John Hopkins Hospital, as soon as possible to accompany Ms. Bridget and the family.
“New message,” the phone alerted again. I ignored it, still searching for my keys & noticed it was lying under the love seat I sat on. I grabbed my phone & headed towards the door, and read the messages on my phone.
“I am sorry to hear that about Roger, what hospital is his body at,” my mother asked in the message, but I went to the next message before responding.
“Hey baby, are you still coming over tonight,” an unknown number asked, as my face was puzzled.
….
I arrived to the hospital at twelve thirty three a.m. and noticed Ms. Bridget & the Bennett family crying in the lobby. How was I going to gather my inner self to see his lifeless body?
“Hey dear,” Ms. Bridget said as she stood up to hug me and continued to cry.
“Hello Ms. Bridget, I am sorry about this loss. You know he was like a father to me,” I said laying my head on her shoulder.
“Yes, and you were like the son he never had. Of course, after having four girls,” she laughed while crying.
“Yeah,” I laughed with tears in my eyes.
“Do you want to see his body as you last remembered him,” she asked.
“Oh no, I don’t think I can do that. Was he in a bad condition,” I asked.
“Why don’t you come in, and see,” she exclaimed grabbing my hand to lead me to the emergency room his body laid in.
There he was lying on the hospital bed with a neck-brace on, and his eyes were closed. His face channeled the definition of peace with a permanent smile. For a split second, I thought he was asleep but when the idea of him never awaking & or critiquing a song anymore, it literally killed me.
“Nicolas, are you okay,” she asked.
“Yes, I’m fine---I just…” I suddenly felt the chunks rush my esophagus and vomited in the plastic trash can in the room.
“Come on, sweetheart. I don’t think you should no longer be in here,” Ms. Bridget said rubbing my shoulders & walking me out of the room.
“I am so sorry, I just can’t do this. I could never deal with death, Ms. Bridget. I don’t know how to.”
“Well, the best way to deal with any situation is to allow yourself to express your emotions. If you feel like you need to cry, then cry! If you feel like you want to laugh, then laugh! It will make life easier for you, if you face the truths & not live in denial,” she said. I found myself questioning God about why he took an angel so early from us, but who am I to question God? If there even is a God! But it has to be, right?
“Thank you, Ms. Bridget. Is there anything you need before I leave,” I asked.
“I don’t believe so, but I will give you a call to inform you about the funeral arrangements and so on,” she said.
“Okay, well you take care. And tell the girls, I love them,” I said.
“Okay dear, be safe & take care. I’m about to tell the doctors to retrieve his body,” she hesitantly said.
“Okay, bye Ms. Bridget,” I hugged her and strolled outside the Shock Trauma unit of the hospital.
I got in the car & turned the engine only to hear Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together” playing on the radio. It felt like a convulsion of emotions suddenly spilled out
Similar Books
