Never Say Goodbye by Susan Lewis Page A

nonsense, of course, but for a while she’d found herself trying to fall for him again. In the end it was Talia who’d understood what was happening, and had taken her aside to talk it through. Together they’d come to realise that what Bel really wanted was to be able to share the same kind of closeness with a man that Talia was managing to share with Nick. For her it had never been possible, and she feared it never would.
    Not wanting to think about that now, she set it aside and went to open her emails. In spite of it being Christmas Day there were a few, mostly junk, but a couple were round robins from old friends. She didn’t read them, but nor did she delete them in case one contained news she needed to know. She’d open them tomorrow, after she’d called Nick and the children, then she’d start searching for properties in need of renovation.
    There was plenty she could do to keep herself busy, or more importantly to stop her mind travelling into the kind of darkness that frightened as well as compelled her. She kept thinking that Talia was at the other side of it, waiting for her, unable to move on until she joined her. It really wasn’t that she wanted to die, and yet at the same time, on nights like this, she wanted it more than anything.

Chapter Five
    JOSIE HAD NEVER been partial to waiting rooms. They always seemed to be attached to places she didn’t want to be – dentists, courts, prisons – and now here she was at one of the worst, the breast clinic.
    What a palaver she’d had trying to find it, walking for what felt like miles, up and down corridors, across squelchy courtyards, through a derelict section (and they were trying to say there were no cuts in the NHS), until finally she’d ended up at the wards over on Blackberry Hill. If she’d known in advance where the unit was located she’d have caught the 44 bus up from town, rather than the 18 which had dropped her at the main hospital gates. Still, she’d know for another time, if there was going to be another time, although she didn’t have any plans on becoming a regular.
    She wasn’t nervous, exactly, more terrified if the truth be told, but that wasn’t going to get her anywhere, so rather than give in to it, she’d decided to worry about Jeff instead. They’d only found something else wrong with his car, so now it was going to cost a hundred quid more than they’d expected to get it back on the road, money they just didn’t have. Even if they could raise it, how long was it going to be before they had to shell out for the bloody thing again? It was very definitely more trouble than it was worth, but what was he going to do for a job if he didn’t have a car?
    Poor bloke, he was really down on his uppers. The only thing keeping him going was the fact that her cousin, Steve, had rung to say he was staying in Spain an extra week so Jeff could keep the car, provided he picked him up from the airport when he got back. Of course Jeff would do that, gladly, he was even going to make sure the tank was full before he handed the keys over.
    He was a kind bloke, Steve, though Josie had to admit she didn’t always approve of his carryings-on. Not that he was the only one on their estate making claims for disabilities or dependants they didn’t have. It sometimes seemed to her that everyone was up to it, especially the foreigners (not the lovely ones who’d lived here for years, but the new ones who hardly ever spoke to anyone apart from to find out what they could get from the state). In truth, she didn’t blame half of them for trying it on, after all conditions were even tougher where they were from, it was the people she’d known most of her life and were fit enough to work that made her mad. Bunch of spongers, as Jeff would say. On the other hand, there were hardly any jobs about, and it was becoming downright impossible to make ends meet now all these cuts were starting to bite. They’d have to start claiming themselves if it went