tongue and tasted it. Vanilla.
“Owwww!” Pep yelled as the ice cream trickled down her back. “That’s cold!”
“Very!” Archie Clone said. “But you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, sister!”
He flipped another switch, and dollops of chocolate ice cream poured down on the twins’ heads.
“You’re crazy!” Pep shouted.
Archie Clone ignored her.
“You see,” he said, “when the human body is exposed to extreme cold, it can’t replenish the heat that’s being lost. You get hypothermia. I love the sound of that word. Don’t you? Hy-po-ther-mia. Sounds like the name of a Greek god.”
Thick globs of chocolate and vanilla ice cream kept squeezing out of spouts over the twins’ heads. Ice cream slid down over them and settled to the bottom of the glass cylinders, soaking their sneakers. Coke sawed more frantically on the rope with the Pez dispenser behind his back. The Mister Softee theme jingled repeatedly in the background.
“It’s c-c-cold!” Pep muttered.
“Of course it’s cold,” Archie Clone said as frozen treat crept up their ankles. “It’s ice cream! I scream. You scream. We all scream for ice cream. Everybody likes ice cream, right?”
“I like eating it,” Coke grunted, “not sitting in it.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers, Coke,” Archie Clone said with a chuckle. “You shouldn’t complain about getting too much of a good thing.”
“Just take our stupid money!” Pep begged. “We don’t care about the million dollars!”
“Yes, it would be so much simpler if we could handle it that way,” Archie Clone said. “But rules are rules. Paperwork, and all that nastiness. Legally, you two have to be dead for me to collect my money.”
“Help!” Coke shouted, sawing frantically. “Get us out of here.”
“You’d be better off conserving your heat energy, Coke,” Archie Clone advised. “Nobody can hear you. We’re in a tunnel under the park. And nobody would be able to hear you over the Mister Softee jingle anyway. Isn’t it delightfully annoying? Maybe next time I’ll just play this song in someone’s ear over and over again until they kill themselves . That would save me a lot of work. Hahahaha!”
The ice cream was getting higher. Coke sneezed.
“Catching a little cold , Coke?” Archie Clone asked with fake concern. “You know, normal body temperature is ninety-eight point six degrees. When your temperature drops below ninety-five, you’ll get goose bumps and start shivering, first gently, and then violently. Your speech may be slurred. Your limbs may feel numb.”
The twins were starting to feel all those symptoms. Ice cream was pouring down on them. It was now almost waist level. Coke wondered if wet rope is easier to cut through, or harder.
“When your temperature drops below ninety-three degrees,” Archie Clone continued, “your muscles will become uncoordinated. Your body will start shutting down to preserve glucose. Your blood vessels will contract and your body will use all its remaining energy to keep your vital organs warm. You’ll become pale and appear dazed. Your lips, ears, fingers, and toes will turn blue. That’s my favorite color! I can’t wait!”
“Gee, thanks for the biology lesson,” Coke said sarcastically.
“No problem, Coke. I know how much you enjoy learning new things. Well, I think you’ll find this bit of trivia interesting. When your body temperature drops below eighty-eight degrees, it will become hard for you to speak. Your pulse and respiration will slow down. Your brain will slow down. That famous photographic memory of yours won’t work anymore. Your hands won’t work anymore either.”
The Mister Softee theme droned on. Coke had developed a headache. Archie Clone walked up close to the glass and peered at him.
“You’ll become disoriented,” he continued. “You’ll start behaving irrationally. Your major organs will start to fail. You’ll curl up in a fetal position to conserve heat. Finally, your
“Owwww!” Pep yelled as the ice cream trickled down her back. “That’s cold!”
“Very!” Archie Clone said. “But you ain’t seen nothin’ yet, sister!”
He flipped another switch, and dollops of chocolate ice cream poured down on the twins’ heads.
“You’re crazy!” Pep shouted.
Archie Clone ignored her.
“You see,” he said, “when the human body is exposed to extreme cold, it can’t replenish the heat that’s being lost. You get hypothermia. I love the sound of that word. Don’t you? Hy-po-ther-mia. Sounds like the name of a Greek god.”
Thick globs of chocolate and vanilla ice cream kept squeezing out of spouts over the twins’ heads. Ice cream slid down over them and settled to the bottom of the glass cylinders, soaking their sneakers. Coke sawed more frantically on the rope with the Pez dispenser behind his back. The Mister Softee theme jingled repeatedly in the background.
“It’s c-c-cold!” Pep muttered.
“Of course it’s cold,” Archie Clone said as frozen treat crept up their ankles. “It’s ice cream! I scream. You scream. We all scream for ice cream. Everybody likes ice cream, right?”
“I like eating it,” Coke grunted, “not sitting in it.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers, Coke,” Archie Clone said with a chuckle. “You shouldn’t complain about getting too much of a good thing.”
“Just take our stupid money!” Pep begged. “We don’t care about the million dollars!”
“Yes, it would be so much simpler if we could handle it that way,” Archie Clone said. “But rules are rules. Paperwork, and all that nastiness. Legally, you two have to be dead for me to collect my money.”
“Help!” Coke shouted, sawing frantically. “Get us out of here.”
“You’d be better off conserving your heat energy, Coke,” Archie Clone advised. “Nobody can hear you. We’re in a tunnel under the park. And nobody would be able to hear you over the Mister Softee jingle anyway. Isn’t it delightfully annoying? Maybe next time I’ll just play this song in someone’s ear over and over again until they kill themselves . That would save me a lot of work. Hahahaha!”
The ice cream was getting higher. Coke sneezed.
“Catching a little cold , Coke?” Archie Clone asked with fake concern. “You know, normal body temperature is ninety-eight point six degrees. When your temperature drops below ninety-five, you’ll get goose bumps and start shivering, first gently, and then violently. Your speech may be slurred. Your limbs may feel numb.”
The twins were starting to feel all those symptoms. Ice cream was pouring down on them. It was now almost waist level. Coke wondered if wet rope is easier to cut through, or harder.
“When your temperature drops below ninety-three degrees,” Archie Clone continued, “your muscles will become uncoordinated. Your body will start shutting down to preserve glucose. Your blood vessels will contract and your body will use all its remaining energy to keep your vital organs warm. You’ll become pale and appear dazed. Your lips, ears, fingers, and toes will turn blue. That’s my favorite color! I can’t wait!”
“Gee, thanks for the biology lesson,” Coke said sarcastically.
“No problem, Coke. I know how much you enjoy learning new things. Well, I think you’ll find this bit of trivia interesting. When your body temperature drops below eighty-eight degrees, it will become hard for you to speak. Your pulse and respiration will slow down. Your brain will slow down. That famous photographic memory of yours won’t work anymore. Your hands won’t work anymore either.”
The Mister Softee theme droned on. Coke had developed a headache. Archie Clone walked up close to the glass and peered at him.
“You’ll become disoriented,” he continued. “You’ll start behaving irrationally. Your major organs will start to fail. You’ll curl up in a fetal position to conserve heat. Finally, your
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