bloody nose, my parents couldn't even look at me. Do you know what it's like to disappoint your parents like that? How it feels to have them look at you and just shake their head, knowing they wished you weren't their kid? No, you probably don't, Mr. Perfect. You don't look so tough anymore. I bet I could kick your ass now—how would you like that?"
"I wouldn't like that at all. I just wanted to apologize. I don't want to fight," I say, trying to remain calm.
"Of course you don't want to fight. Look at you," he says, sizing me up again. "I've been working out. I'd wipe the floor with you." He puffs out his chest, beats it with closed fists like a gorilla. I almost expect him to belt out the Tarzan yell.
"Yeah, I can tell you've been working out," I say.
"Are you being smart with me? Huh?"
"No, really, I'm not, I mean it. I really just want to say I'm sorry. That's all." I back away slowly. Apparently, Bertie feels a latent hatred for me that has been awakened. Without warning, he punches me right in the face, tagging my nose and eye with one blow.
I hear Kaylee's door open. She flies out of the car screaming, "Stop!"
"Who's this, your bodyguard?" Bertie jokes, then gives me an uppercut to the chin, followed by a quick left hook to the mouth.
"Please," Kaylee begs. She grabs his arms, trying to pry them from me.
Bertie shakes her off and she tumbles to the ground. I hold back tears of frustration. I can't control anything. I have to watch Kaylee fall instead of protecting her. I'm useless and pathetic. Kaylee gets back on her feet and jumps on his back just as he's grabbed my shoulder and is about to punch me again. "Stop! You don't understand. You could really hurt him," she cries.
Bertie finally looks at her. I mean, really looks at her. He immediately lets go, backs off as if I've become hot to the touch. I become lightheaded and fall to the ground. Kaylee bends over me as I bleed out my nose and mouth.
"Austin, are you okay?" she asks. Her tears spill onto me, mingle with my blood, drip down my face.
"I don't know. I think so," I choke out.
She turns on Bertie. "You fuck head! What's wrong with you?"
Bertie says, "He deserved it."
"We're even," I say weakly once I fully regain my voice. Kaylee helps me to my feet and to the car.
"You had some nerve coming here, asshole!" Bertie yells after us.
Just as she's about to get in the car, Kaylee flips Bertie off, then peels away. He chases after us shouting obscenities until he runs out of steam and gives up. When we're well away from Bertie's neighborhood, Kaylee stops by an AM/PM for ice. My entire face and body ache, the ice stings my forming wounds, but to lighten the moment I say through my hugely fat lip, "I know I've already plastered her with puke, but do you think Scarlet will mind if I get blood on her upholstery?"
Kaylee stays silent for a moment; she's taking long, decisive breaths. Suddenly, she unloads on me. "Goddamn it, Austin! What the hell are you doing! That guy could have killed you if he wanted to."
"Kaylee, we're all gonna die someday," I say.
"Yeah, we're all going to die someday. I didn't realize you wanted to do it today. Why don't I just drive you straight to the morgue and get it over with? And can you stop it with all your meditative 'Confucius Say' bullshit? What's the point, Austin? We all know you're a great guy. You don't have to prove it to anyone. Maybe you should just mind your own business. Let these people fix their own problems, live their own lives."
"But they're not, Kaylee. They're standing still while the world passes them by. It's not fair. They have a life to live. They have a future. I want for them what I can't have for myself."
"Austin, you can't take on the weight of the world. You can barely carry your own," she says, softer now.
"I know, but maybe I can make it a little bit lighter."
She expels a heavy breath, a deep sigh. She knows I'm right, knows this is something I need to do. She doesn't respond, and
"I wouldn't like that at all. I just wanted to apologize. I don't want to fight," I say, trying to remain calm.
"Of course you don't want to fight. Look at you," he says, sizing me up again. "I've been working out. I'd wipe the floor with you." He puffs out his chest, beats it with closed fists like a gorilla. I almost expect him to belt out the Tarzan yell.
"Yeah, I can tell you've been working out," I say.
"Are you being smart with me? Huh?"
"No, really, I'm not, I mean it. I really just want to say I'm sorry. That's all." I back away slowly. Apparently, Bertie feels a latent hatred for me that has been awakened. Without warning, he punches me right in the face, tagging my nose and eye with one blow.
I hear Kaylee's door open. She flies out of the car screaming, "Stop!"
"Who's this, your bodyguard?" Bertie jokes, then gives me an uppercut to the chin, followed by a quick left hook to the mouth.
"Please," Kaylee begs. She grabs his arms, trying to pry them from me.
Bertie shakes her off and she tumbles to the ground. I hold back tears of frustration. I can't control anything. I have to watch Kaylee fall instead of protecting her. I'm useless and pathetic. Kaylee gets back on her feet and jumps on his back just as he's grabbed my shoulder and is about to punch me again. "Stop! You don't understand. You could really hurt him," she cries.
Bertie finally looks at her. I mean, really looks at her. He immediately lets go, backs off as if I've become hot to the touch. I become lightheaded and fall to the ground. Kaylee bends over me as I bleed out my nose and mouth.
"Austin, are you okay?" she asks. Her tears spill onto me, mingle with my blood, drip down my face.
"I don't know. I think so," I choke out.
She turns on Bertie. "You fuck head! What's wrong with you?"
Bertie says, "He deserved it."
"We're even," I say weakly once I fully regain my voice. Kaylee helps me to my feet and to the car.
"You had some nerve coming here, asshole!" Bertie yells after us.
Just as she's about to get in the car, Kaylee flips Bertie off, then peels away. He chases after us shouting obscenities until he runs out of steam and gives up. When we're well away from Bertie's neighborhood, Kaylee stops by an AM/PM for ice. My entire face and body ache, the ice stings my forming wounds, but to lighten the moment I say through my hugely fat lip, "I know I've already plastered her with puke, but do you think Scarlet will mind if I get blood on her upholstery?"
Kaylee stays silent for a moment; she's taking long, decisive breaths. Suddenly, she unloads on me. "Goddamn it, Austin! What the hell are you doing! That guy could have killed you if he wanted to."
"Kaylee, we're all gonna die someday," I say.
"Yeah, we're all going to die someday. I didn't realize you wanted to do it today. Why don't I just drive you straight to the morgue and get it over with? And can you stop it with all your meditative 'Confucius Say' bullshit? What's the point, Austin? We all know you're a great guy. You don't have to prove it to anyone. Maybe you should just mind your own business. Let these people fix their own problems, live their own lives."
"But they're not, Kaylee. They're standing still while the world passes them by. It's not fair. They have a life to live. They have a future. I want for them what I can't have for myself."
"Austin, you can't take on the weight of the world. You can barely carry your own," she says, softer now.
"I know, but maybe I can make it a little bit lighter."
She expels a heavy breath, a deep sigh. She knows I'm right, knows this is something I need to do. She doesn't respond, and
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