Neurosurgeon...and Mum!

Neurosurgeon...and Mum! by Kate Hardy Page B

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Authors: Kate Hardy
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something else. Who read her bedtime stories? Who picked her up when she fell over, kissed a bruise better and put sticking plasters over cuts?’
    ‘I get your point.’
    ‘I don’t think you do. Tom, what I’m trying to say is that Perdy’s not going to be like Eloise. She’s grown up with affection in her life. She knows that she’s loved. I’ve seen you with her—you always talk to her about her day and take an interest in what she does, and it’s not just focussed on whether she got ten out of ten on her spelling tests. You ask her what she enjoyed best in her day, what she had for school dinner.’
    ‘But she’s so quiet, Amy. So quiet and neat and tidy.’ He shook his head in seeming frustration. ‘It’s like she isn’t a child.’
    ‘Of course she is,’Amy reassured him. ‘Not all kids are messy and noisy and race around all the time. I was always quiet, when I wasn’t here—and even here, I was always quiet for the first few days of the holidays, until I’d settled back into being part of Joe and Cassie’s brood. Yes, Perdy chatters a bit to me, but I think that’s because she recognises me as someone who was the same as her when I was little.’ Another thing that had made them bond: they understood each other instinctively. ‘Don’t judge yourself too harshly, Tom. It’s tough, being a single parent. As you said, you don’t have anyone to talk over your decisions with. You worry that you’re doing it wrong. Anyone would,in your shoes. But you’re doing your best—and what you’re doing is good enough.’
    ‘It doesn’t feel it.’
    ‘Tom, you don’t have to be perfect. It’s probably better that you’re not—because then your child knows life doesn’t always work the way you want it to, and you can show by example that there are different ways of dealing with problems.’ She smiled at him. ‘Perdy believes in you, so give yourself a break and start believing in yourself.’ She reached over and squeezed his free hand.
    But when she was about to release him, Tom drew her hand up to his mouth and kissed each knuckle in turn. Then, with his gaze locked with hers, he kissed the pulse that beat crazily at her wrist.
    She knew she ought to pull away, that this was a bad idea. And yet at the same time, maybe it wasn’t. She could comfort Tom, make him feel better. Make him feel loved, the way Eloise hadn’t been able to make him feel. And he could drive her nightmares away. Let her feel something other than panic and regret.
    She knew these were dangerous thoughts. Ones she didn’t have the right to have. But she couldn’t stop them.
    The feel of his mouth against her skin made her feel as if she were dissolving. She touched his face with her other hand, stroking his cheek. He’d shaved that morning and his skin was soft, warm. Inviting.
    ‘Tom,’ she said softly.
    He stood up, moved to her side of the table and drew her to her feet. He dipped his head and kissed the corner of her mouth, making her shiver. His mouth brushed lightly against hers—and then they were kissing in earnest. Tom lifted her onto the table and nudged his thighs between hers; she wrapped her legs round his thighs, drawing him closer.
    When he broke the kiss, he stared at her. ‘I’m so sorry, Amy. That wasn’t fair of me. You’ve been hurt before and I shouldn’t try to rush you into…whatever this thing is between us.’
    This was her cue to release him and slide off the table.
    But she didn’t. Couldn’t. She simply reached up to run the pad of her forefinger along his lower lip. ‘It wasn’t just you,’ she said. ‘And before…I don’t think it was enough to get this out of our systems.’
    ‘So what are you suggesting?’ he asked.
    ‘Neither of us is in a fit state to consider a relationship. We’re both in a bad place,’ she said. ‘But maybe…’ This was a huge risk, and if he turned her down, there was no way she’d be able to stay here. But his eyes held a question—and

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