sent to bed without any supper.’
‘But Nanny Piggins, you don’t approve of withholding meals. You always say that the only people who should be sent to bed without any supper are murderers, to teach them a lesson, and people who don’t eat chocolate, so they will come to their senses,’ argued Samantha.
‘Oh dear,’ said Nanny Anne. ‘Arguing in front of a guest is also bad etiquette.’
‘It is?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
‘Oh yes,’ said Nanny Anne. ‘I think that requires some time in the naughty corner.’
‘But Nanny Piggins usually encourages us to be naughty in all corners of the house,’ countered Samantha.
‘Tsk tsk tsk,’ said Nanny Anne. ‘Answering back, you can’t accept that, Nanny Piggins.’
‘I can’t?’ asked Nanny Piggins, her head starting to throb. ‘All right, girl-child, you don’t get any supper either.’
‘I’ve had enough of this,’ said Michael. ‘I’m getting Boris and telling him to bring the watermelon.’ Michael ran out of the room.
‘Threatening to hit your nanny over the head with a watermelon is punishable too,’ called out Nanny Anne.
‘So the little boy doesn’t eat either?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
‘That’s right,’ said Nanny Anne.
‘I never realised that nannying was so like policing,’ said Nanny Piggins.
‘Oh it is a lot harder,’ said Nanny Anne, ‘because we aren’t supposed to use batons and handcuffs.’
‘What do I do now?’ asked Nanny Piggins, as she looked at Samantha fuming in the newly established naughty corner and Derrick glaring at her from the couch.
‘After a hard day nannying, I think we deserve a treat,’ smiled Nanny Anne. ‘I brought over a cake especially for you.’
‘Really? What type of cake is it?’ asked Nanny Piggins as Nanny Anne retrieved a plate of cake from her basket.
‘Chocolate cake,’ said Nanny Anne.
‘That sounds nice,’ said Nanny Piggins, perking up. She scooped up a polite little morsel of cake and put it in her mouth.
‘With zucchini grated into it for extra fibre,’ added Nanny Anne.
Nanny Piggins did not swallow. She held the cake in her mouth for a moment before her face began to turn a very disturbing shade of purple. Then Nanny Piggins’ whole body began to shudder.
‘Are you all right, Nanny Piggins?’ asked Samantha.
Nanny Piggins did not speak. She was too busy pulling the most pained face the children had ever seen. Eventually when she could not stand itanymore, Nanny Piggins leapt to her feet and spat the glob of cake onto Mr Green’s expensive Persian carpet.
‘Phah, phah, phah!’ said Nanny Piggins as she spat many more times, trying to get the taste out of her mouth, ‘Are you trying to poison me?’ She turned on Nanny Anne. ‘Are you trying to murder me with vegetable-tainted cake?’
‘Nanny Piggins, get a grip of yourself,’ said Nanny Anne. ‘You are being rude.’
‘You are the one who is being rude!’ denounced Nanny Piggins. ‘Rude to the institution of cake by daring to bring a zucchini within a five-mile radius of one. How dare you! Samantha, fetch me the telephone. I am reporting Nanny Anne to the police for crimes against cake.’
‘I think Nanny Piggins is feeling better,’ said Derrick happily.
‘There’s no such thing as crimes against cake,’ protested Nanny Anne.
‘Then I shall run for parliament and have the laws introduced immediately,’ declared Nanny Piggins. ‘And I am keeping this cake –’ She snatched up the zucchini-tainted chocolate cake – ‘and using it against you as evidence. Get out of my house!’
‘What’s going on here?’ said Mr Green, walking into that room. ‘This is my house. No-one orders people out except me.’
‘You can get out too!’ yelled Nanny Piggins. ‘Taking advantage of a woman with a head injury! You should be ashamed of yourself.’
‘He took advantage of you?’ asked Derrick, totally shocked.
‘Yes, after you left for school this morning,’ explained Nanny
‘But Nanny Piggins, you don’t approve of withholding meals. You always say that the only people who should be sent to bed without any supper are murderers, to teach them a lesson, and people who don’t eat chocolate, so they will come to their senses,’ argued Samantha.
‘Oh dear,’ said Nanny Anne. ‘Arguing in front of a guest is also bad etiquette.’
‘It is?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
‘Oh yes,’ said Nanny Anne. ‘I think that requires some time in the naughty corner.’
‘But Nanny Piggins usually encourages us to be naughty in all corners of the house,’ countered Samantha.
‘Tsk tsk tsk,’ said Nanny Anne. ‘Answering back, you can’t accept that, Nanny Piggins.’
‘I can’t?’ asked Nanny Piggins, her head starting to throb. ‘All right, girl-child, you don’t get any supper either.’
‘I’ve had enough of this,’ said Michael. ‘I’m getting Boris and telling him to bring the watermelon.’ Michael ran out of the room.
‘Threatening to hit your nanny over the head with a watermelon is punishable too,’ called out Nanny Anne.
‘So the little boy doesn’t eat either?’ asked Nanny Piggins.
‘That’s right,’ said Nanny Anne.
‘I never realised that nannying was so like policing,’ said Nanny Piggins.
‘Oh it is a lot harder,’ said Nanny Anne, ‘because we aren’t supposed to use batons and handcuffs.’
‘What do I do now?’ asked Nanny Piggins, as she looked at Samantha fuming in the newly established naughty corner and Derrick glaring at her from the couch.
‘After a hard day nannying, I think we deserve a treat,’ smiled Nanny Anne. ‘I brought over a cake especially for you.’
‘Really? What type of cake is it?’ asked Nanny Piggins as Nanny Anne retrieved a plate of cake from her basket.
‘Chocolate cake,’ said Nanny Anne.
‘That sounds nice,’ said Nanny Piggins, perking up. She scooped up a polite little morsel of cake and put it in her mouth.
‘With zucchini grated into it for extra fibre,’ added Nanny Anne.
Nanny Piggins did not swallow. She held the cake in her mouth for a moment before her face began to turn a very disturbing shade of purple. Then Nanny Piggins’ whole body began to shudder.
‘Are you all right, Nanny Piggins?’ asked Samantha.
Nanny Piggins did not speak. She was too busy pulling the most pained face the children had ever seen. Eventually when she could not stand itanymore, Nanny Piggins leapt to her feet and spat the glob of cake onto Mr Green’s expensive Persian carpet.
‘Phah, phah, phah!’ said Nanny Piggins as she spat many more times, trying to get the taste out of her mouth, ‘Are you trying to poison me?’ She turned on Nanny Anne. ‘Are you trying to murder me with vegetable-tainted cake?’
‘Nanny Piggins, get a grip of yourself,’ said Nanny Anne. ‘You are being rude.’
‘You are the one who is being rude!’ denounced Nanny Piggins. ‘Rude to the institution of cake by daring to bring a zucchini within a five-mile radius of one. How dare you! Samantha, fetch me the telephone. I am reporting Nanny Anne to the police for crimes against cake.’
‘I think Nanny Piggins is feeling better,’ said Derrick happily.
‘There’s no such thing as crimes against cake,’ protested Nanny Anne.
‘Then I shall run for parliament and have the laws introduced immediately,’ declared Nanny Piggins. ‘And I am keeping this cake –’ She snatched up the zucchini-tainted chocolate cake – ‘and using it against you as evidence. Get out of my house!’
‘What’s going on here?’ said Mr Green, walking into that room. ‘This is my house. No-one orders people out except me.’
‘You can get out too!’ yelled Nanny Piggins. ‘Taking advantage of a woman with a head injury! You should be ashamed of yourself.’
‘He took advantage of you?’ asked Derrick, totally shocked.
‘Yes, after you left for school this morning,’ explained Nanny
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