alphabet. This may seem like an unexpectedly educational thing to do, but the only reason they were making the letters was so Nanny Piggins could send Headmaster Pimplestock a rude message. She thought this was a tremendously funny idea. And how could the headmastercomplain when he received an insult in the form of 812 delicious sugar-coated shortbread cookies. (Nanny Piggins had thought up quite a long rude message.)
Unfortunately, just as they were sprinkling icing sugar over the warm biscuits, their festive activity was interrupted by the sound of a helicopter overhead. Now you are probably thinking – why would the sound of a helicopter interrupt a baking session? That is because you are thinking of the noise a helicopter makes when it is a long way overhead. But trust me, when a helicopter is hovering just thirty metres directly above your house it makes a noise so loud that all the furniture shakes, the crockery rattles and conversation becomes impossible.
‘What’s going on?!’ yelled Nanny Piggins as she bent over the cookies. Just in case the house did collapse, she wanted to shield the biscuits with her body. (Spending two days trapped in the rubble of a building would not be so bad if you had 812 biscuits to keep you company.)
Just then, the helicopter pulled away and there was an even louder sound, a voice bellowing from outside, ‘Nanny Piggins, we have the house surrounded. Come out with your hands up!’
‘I don’t know what to do, children,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘Normally I never like to obey anyone who does not say “please”. But I am ever so curious to know why they have surrounded the house.’
‘Would you like us to hide you in the cellar until they go away?’ asked Michael. ‘We could build a secret wall and you could live as a recluse.’
‘Hmm, tempting as that does sound because the heroine in the Regency Romance novel I’ve just been reading did a very similar thing,’ mused Nanny Piggins, ‘I think I’d prefer to answer the door. I bet it is just someone we know playing a lovely practical joke. And the sooner we answer the door, the sooner I can play my own practical joke back, by biting them on the leg.’
And so Nanny Piggins and the children went to the front door fully expecting lots of laughing and joking and perhaps a pie fight to follow. They were soon to be bitterly disappointed, because when they threw open the door there was no smiling face. Just the grim expression of the Police Sergeant standing on the doorstep. And looking past him, they could see a dozen police patrol cars blocking the street with police officers cowering behind them.
‘Hello, Nanny Piggins,’ said the Police Sergeant.He was not looking his normal happy self this morning.
‘Hello, Police Sergeant,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘Have you naughty boys from the police station decided to play an April Fools’ trick on me? Well, it is a lovely thought. And I am flattered. But shouldn’t you have left some of your officers at the station in case a real crime happens.’
‘A real crime has happened,’ said the Police Sergeant.
‘Oh dear, and so early in the day. Poor you, Sergeant. I know you are not a morning person. Would you like a biscuit?’ asked Nanny Piggins. ‘I am prepared to edit the rude message I am writing to Headmaster Pimplestock because your need does seem greater.’
‘I’m afraid I can’t,’ said the Police Sergeant.
‘Really?’ said Nanny Piggins, very surprised. ‘But you love my butter shortbread biscuits.’
The Police Sergeant sniffed the air. The biscuits did smell good. But then he remembered why he had come and girded himself. ‘I can’t eat your biscuits because I have come here to arrest you,’ he said. ‘Sorry,’ he added as an afterthought, because he really was a very polite policeman.
The children were horrified.
‘But you can’t arrest Nanny Piggins,’ protested Derrick, ‘because, because …’ (He struggled here because he knew his
Unfortunately, just as they were sprinkling icing sugar over the warm biscuits, their festive activity was interrupted by the sound of a helicopter overhead. Now you are probably thinking – why would the sound of a helicopter interrupt a baking session? That is because you are thinking of the noise a helicopter makes when it is a long way overhead. But trust me, when a helicopter is hovering just thirty metres directly above your house it makes a noise so loud that all the furniture shakes, the crockery rattles and conversation becomes impossible.
‘What’s going on?!’ yelled Nanny Piggins as she bent over the cookies. Just in case the house did collapse, she wanted to shield the biscuits with her body. (Spending two days trapped in the rubble of a building would not be so bad if you had 812 biscuits to keep you company.)
Just then, the helicopter pulled away and there was an even louder sound, a voice bellowing from outside, ‘Nanny Piggins, we have the house surrounded. Come out with your hands up!’
‘I don’t know what to do, children,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘Normally I never like to obey anyone who does not say “please”. But I am ever so curious to know why they have surrounded the house.’
‘Would you like us to hide you in the cellar until they go away?’ asked Michael. ‘We could build a secret wall and you could live as a recluse.’
‘Hmm, tempting as that does sound because the heroine in the Regency Romance novel I’ve just been reading did a very similar thing,’ mused Nanny Piggins, ‘I think I’d prefer to answer the door. I bet it is just someone we know playing a lovely practical joke. And the sooner we answer the door, the sooner I can play my own practical joke back, by biting them on the leg.’
And so Nanny Piggins and the children went to the front door fully expecting lots of laughing and joking and perhaps a pie fight to follow. They were soon to be bitterly disappointed, because when they threw open the door there was no smiling face. Just the grim expression of the Police Sergeant standing on the doorstep. And looking past him, they could see a dozen police patrol cars blocking the street with police officers cowering behind them.
‘Hello, Nanny Piggins,’ said the Police Sergeant.He was not looking his normal happy self this morning.
‘Hello, Police Sergeant,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘Have you naughty boys from the police station decided to play an April Fools’ trick on me? Well, it is a lovely thought. And I am flattered. But shouldn’t you have left some of your officers at the station in case a real crime happens.’
‘A real crime has happened,’ said the Police Sergeant.
‘Oh dear, and so early in the day. Poor you, Sergeant. I know you are not a morning person. Would you like a biscuit?’ asked Nanny Piggins. ‘I am prepared to edit the rude message I am writing to Headmaster Pimplestock because your need does seem greater.’
‘I’m afraid I can’t,’ said the Police Sergeant.
‘Really?’ said Nanny Piggins, very surprised. ‘But you love my butter shortbread biscuits.’
The Police Sergeant sniffed the air. The biscuits did smell good. But then he remembered why he had come and girded himself. ‘I can’t eat your biscuits because I have come here to arrest you,’ he said. ‘Sorry,’ he added as an afterthought, because he really was a very polite policeman.
The children were horrified.
‘But you can’t arrest Nanny Piggins,’ protested Derrick, ‘because, because …’ (He struggled here because he knew his
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