Names for Nothingness by Georgia Blain Page B

something?’ The desire for salacious detail was sharp on Caroline’s face. She wanted bizarre rituals, orgies, anything to take back to the others and further fan the gossip, and for a moment Caitlin was tempted to satisfy her, because she had never particularly liked Caroline.
    â€˜I don’t know what the Hare Krishnas are like.’ She resisted any inclination to lie.
    â€˜Well, what do you do? What do you believe in?’ Caroline took a cigarette from her bag and lit it, blowing the smoke out in a thin stream as she grinned.
    â€˜Come and see for yourself.’ Caitlin smiled. ‘Everyone’s welcome.’
    Caroline laughed. ‘Not likely.’
    â€˜Why?’ And Caitlin’s gaze was direct. ‘There’s nothing to be afraid of.’
    â€˜It’s not fear.’ Caroline took another long drag on her cigarette. ‘I just couldn’t think of anything worse than obeying some tripped-out guru. I mean, they fucking brainwash you.’
    They were outside Liam and Sharn’s flat. Caitlin saw the front door was open. Liam always left it like this, oblivious to any possibility of being robbed, just propping it open so that the air could flow into what would otherwise have been a stifling four rooms.
    She glanced across at Caroline, and told her that she had to get home, that it had been good seeing her again.
    Caroline just looked at her.
    â€˜You know,’ she eventually said, and then paused.
    â€˜What?’
    And Caroline exhaled another thin stream of smoke. ‘He tried to chat me up.’
    â€˜Who?’
    â€˜That guy. The one on the bus.’
    It was a moment before Caitlin realised she was referring to Fraser, and she was dismayed to feel herself blushing.
    â€˜Even gave me his crazy book. Fuck, he was a nutcase.’
    Caitlin said nothing.
    â€˜But not bad looking,’ and Caroline turned, raising a hand in farewell as she did so. ‘See you round, I guess.’
    Caitlin did not move. Leaning against the letterbox, she watched Caroline walk up the street, surprised at the momentary disturbance she had felt. It didn’t matter, she told herself. It didn’t matter in the slightest, and she called out to Liam as she walked in through the front door, glad at the prospect of seeing him again.
    But it was Sharn who answered, Sharn who was there on her rostered day off, and Caitlin stopped at the entrance to the lounge room. She could see the shock on her mother’s face and she knew that her own expression was not dissimilar.
    â€˜Caitlin.’
    They looked at each other, and neither of them knew what to say.
    â€˜How are you?’ It was Sharn who spoke first.
    â€˜I’m okay,’ and Caitlin could hear the nervousness in her voice. Unable to either retreat or step forward, she just stood, perfectly still.
    Standing up from the couch, Sharn asked Caitlin if she wanted anything to eat, anything to drink, and then she stopped herself. ‘You know where everything is,’ andshe waved her hand in the direction of the kitchen.
    â€˜I am okay,’ Caitlin told her once again, ‘and they do feed me.’
    â€˜Spiritual crap?’
    Caitlin did not respond.
    Sharn put down the book she had been reading, and Caitlin looked at the title:
How to Invest in Property.
    Sharn grimaced. ‘Michael at work lent it to me. Says he’s about to buy his third house.’
    Caitlin shrugged her shoulders. ‘Why would anyone want three houses?’
    Sharn smiled. ‘One would suit me fine.’
    â€˜We’ve got one,’ Caitlin said.
    Sharn did not shift her gaze. ‘No, we don’t,’ and she reached to open the window a little further. ‘We’re renters.’ The breeze lifted the pages of the book, her place now lost. She picked it up and closed it.
    â€˜So, you’re back,’ and she put the book down, her words still floating in the air.
    Confused, Caitlin told her that she