magazine to one side. Nothing I did could help eliminate the feeling of despondency that swept over me each time I thought of Gustav. Every day, I longed to call him, to waylay him on some pretext or another.
I looked up as a shadow fell across the table.
“Gustav…” I gasped out my surprise at seeing him, standing there.
“Constantine.” He neither smiled nor inclined his head in greeting but stood stock still, his piercing blue-eyed stare making me tremble with longing. “Please sit,” I said. “How are you?”
He sat, but his expression remained cold. “If you really wanted to know the answer to that, you would have called me,” he said. “Gustav… I am so sorry—”
He held up his hand to silence me. “Please… It’s a little late for all that. And besides, I don’t believe for one moment that you’re sorry. You’re such a shallow fellow, after all. I recall you saying that just before I left.”
“Gustav… caro …” I gazed at him, trying to see some sliver of forgiveness in those ice-blue eyes. “I know you hate me. You have every right to, after what I did. But, believe me, it was for the best. I could not endanger your life along with my own.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he rasped.
“I can’t tell you the details. Suffice to say that I am not what I appear to be.” His laughter was brittle. “No need to tell me that!”
“All I ask you to believe is that what I did, I did for you.” He sighed, but his eyes softened a little as he met my gaze. “Constantine, what are you talking about?”
I shook my head miserably. “I can’t tell you, Gustav.”
“Is this something to do with your position as Pope Pius’ bodyguard? I saw you on TV, he added. “You were standing next to him.” “It’s something like that, yes.”
“But I don’t understand why you had to break off our relationship. Surely there are other gay men in his service?”
“There are…but this is different.”
His eyes widened. “You’re his lover?”
Blood Resurrection
J.P Bowie
72
“No!” I shouted the denial so loudly several people turned their heads to stare at me.
“No,” I repeated, lowering my voice. “Believe me, nothing could be further from the truth. Oh Gustav, forgive me, but I still love you. It’s just that it is impossible, the way things are…” He was silent for a moment or two, then he said. “I have a new apartment a short distance from here. Come with me, just this once…please.” Every part of my brain screamed ‘No!’ but my heart whispered, ‘Yes’, and as I rose from the table and followed him out onto the street, I could hear only what my heart longed for.
His apartment was tiny, but clean and neat, and smelled of fresh herbs. His lips were soft and moist, his skin as fragrant as I remembered, and I felt myself falling helplessly in love with him all over again. We clutched at each other, hands groping, stroking, mouths joining, tongues meshing, caressing… Oh, but the touch and feel of him was glorious. I wanted to shout with joy and weep from happiness.
“Gustav,” I murmured, my lips at his ear. “I love you so…”
“Then come back to me,” he whispered. “Come back so that I can love you each and every day. I miss you terribly, Constantine. You’re all I think of, all I want, night and day.” His tears were wet against my cheek, and I tried to kiss them away. I lifted him into my arms and carried him to the bed. His hands caressed my face, his eyes locked on mine, pleading, imploring… I opened his shirt and kissed each nipple, teasing them gently with my lips and tongue, causing him to gasp with pleasure. That’s right, I thought. Bring him the ecstasy he needs from you now. Why refuse him what we both desire?
I slipped his shirt from his shoulders and unfastened his pants belt. I pulled down his zipper so that I could take his hard cock in my hand and feel it throb in my grasp. He groaned as I put my lips to the head then very
I looked up as a shadow fell across the table.
“Gustav…” I gasped out my surprise at seeing him, standing there.
“Constantine.” He neither smiled nor inclined his head in greeting but stood stock still, his piercing blue-eyed stare making me tremble with longing. “Please sit,” I said. “How are you?”
He sat, but his expression remained cold. “If you really wanted to know the answer to that, you would have called me,” he said. “Gustav… I am so sorry—”
He held up his hand to silence me. “Please… It’s a little late for all that. And besides, I don’t believe for one moment that you’re sorry. You’re such a shallow fellow, after all. I recall you saying that just before I left.”
“Gustav… caro …” I gazed at him, trying to see some sliver of forgiveness in those ice-blue eyes. “I know you hate me. You have every right to, after what I did. But, believe me, it was for the best. I could not endanger your life along with my own.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he rasped.
“I can’t tell you the details. Suffice to say that I am not what I appear to be.” His laughter was brittle. “No need to tell me that!”
“All I ask you to believe is that what I did, I did for you.” He sighed, but his eyes softened a little as he met my gaze. “Constantine, what are you talking about?”
I shook my head miserably. “I can’t tell you, Gustav.”
“Is this something to do with your position as Pope Pius’ bodyguard? I saw you on TV, he added. “You were standing next to him.” “It’s something like that, yes.”
“But I don’t understand why you had to break off our relationship. Surely there are other gay men in his service?”
“There are…but this is different.”
His eyes widened. “You’re his lover?”
Blood Resurrection
J.P Bowie
72
“No!” I shouted the denial so loudly several people turned their heads to stare at me.
“No,” I repeated, lowering my voice. “Believe me, nothing could be further from the truth. Oh Gustav, forgive me, but I still love you. It’s just that it is impossible, the way things are…” He was silent for a moment or two, then he said. “I have a new apartment a short distance from here. Come with me, just this once…please.” Every part of my brain screamed ‘No!’ but my heart whispered, ‘Yes’, and as I rose from the table and followed him out onto the street, I could hear only what my heart longed for.
His apartment was tiny, but clean and neat, and smelled of fresh herbs. His lips were soft and moist, his skin as fragrant as I remembered, and I felt myself falling helplessly in love with him all over again. We clutched at each other, hands groping, stroking, mouths joining, tongues meshing, caressing… Oh, but the touch and feel of him was glorious. I wanted to shout with joy and weep from happiness.
“Gustav,” I murmured, my lips at his ear. “I love you so…”
“Then come back to me,” he whispered. “Come back so that I can love you each and every day. I miss you terribly, Constantine. You’re all I think of, all I want, night and day.” His tears were wet against my cheek, and I tried to kiss them away. I lifted him into my arms and carried him to the bed. His hands caressed my face, his eyes locked on mine, pleading, imploring… I opened his shirt and kissed each nipple, teasing them gently with my lips and tongue, causing him to gasp with pleasure. That’s right, I thought. Bring him the ecstasy he needs from you now. Why refuse him what we both desire?
I slipped his shirt from his shoulders and unfastened his pants belt. I pulled down his zipper so that I could take his hard cock in my hand and feel it throb in my grasp. He groaned as I put my lips to the head then very
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