My True Love Gave to Me: Twelve Holiday Stories by Stephanie Perkins Page A

you’re talking about getting married, right? You’re talking about holding hands. Hypothetically.”
    I swallowed hard. “To test the feel.”
    “Which I suppose is pretty harmless in the grand scheme of things.”
    “Though, I’ll be honest.” I touched Haley’s bare ankle. “A small part of me might also be talking about marrying you.”
    She slapped my hand away. “See, this is why I never should’ve taken a shower down there. Showers can lead to hand-holding, which can lead to.… People are better off growing Christmas dreads.”
    Haley smoothed her pretty hair behind her ears and reached for my hand.
    I could barely breathe.
    It was everything I wanted, but at the same time, it was scary as shit, too. Because I knew myself. I felt the “unbalanced thing” to the point that I couldn’t even think straight. Haley’s eyes locked inside mine. Her hand in my hand, which was making my whole arm tingle, my whole body.
    “It’s a pretty good fit,” I managed to say.
    She made it so our fingers were linked and, for a few long seconds, we just looked at each other. I glanced at her lips before forcing myself back to her eyes. Her face grew more serious, and she cleared her throat softly. “I have to admit something. It’s kind of bad.”
    “Uh-oh,” I said, nervous she was going to pull the plug.
    “I didn’t really procrastinate. I bought my plane ticket home weeks ago.”
    In my drunken state it took me a few seconds to realize what she was saying. She’d chosen not to go home. Which meant she was avoiding something. Possibly some one. My heart pounded against the inside of my chest.
    “I just never went to the airport,” she said.
    “Why?”
    “Because I’m a coward.” She scooted a little closer to me on the couch. “Do you think less of me now?”
    “Why would I?” I said.
    She shrugged. “What are you thinking, then?”
    I swallowed and stared at my drink for a couple seconds. When I looked back up at her I said, “I’m thinking about what it would be like to kiss your cheek.”
    Haley breathed deeply and squeezed my hand. “Maybe you should find out.”
    But when I leaned in, aiming for just inside her left ear, she turned suddenly and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead.
    It was just a peck and then I pulled back and looked at her. Both our eyes locking on each other’s and our chests going in and out and in and out. Without thinking, I took her face in my hands, gently as I could, and I kissed her again. Longer this time. Not a peck, but the real kind. And she kissed me back.
    She shoved me onto my back, still kissing me, her hands gripping wildly at my hair, mine slowly moving down her warm body. “What are we doing?” she breathed into my ear.
    “I don’t even know,” I said, and then we were kissing again.
    I got lost in it. Her lips. Her touch. Me and Haley. She’d made me dinner, and now we were together on her couch. It didn’t seem possible. And for a few seconds, my amazement pulled me out of my body. I found myself hovering up near the ceiling, watching everything unfold in awe. But then I forced myself to focus on her lips again, and the feel of my hands on her stomach, and I rematerialized.
    It was all so … alive.
    I felt like I was breathing the world into my lungs.
    In a few minutes, I flipped her onto her back and pinned her arms. And I pulled away and just stared at her, both of us breathing, wanting more.
    “What is it?” she said.
    “I wonder more things,” I told her.
    She closed her eyes and slowly opened them. “I know you do, but…”
    “Like how it would feel to be with you.”
    When she didn’t answer, I lowered my face toward hers and we kissed some more, but this time I felt this surge of energy so powerful my mind slipped away completely, and I reached up and undid her blouse, one button at a time, and then I reached around her back and undid her bra clasp.
    That’s when she stopped me.
    She turned her head and spun out of my grip