have
any humor in them, he stroked his thumb across my
bottom lip. He replaced it with his mouth, sucking my lip into his mouth. We
both tasted like pastry. The kiss was slow and intense.
“I want you to date
me,” he whispered into my mouth.
I shook my head, “But
we live together. You were right. Think how intense that would be? Roommates
dating is too much.”
He swallowed, “I want
you.”
I bit my lip for fear
I would return what he’d said, or up the ante and say something so much worse,
“You said kissing me was a mistake.”
He shook his head, “I
meant kissing you behind the stage with groupies everywhere, like we’re hiding
in a corner, was a mistake. I won’t ever treat you
like you’re just some girl.” He kissed me again, “Go out for dinner with me.”
I laughed, pulling
back, “No. God damned, Loch. You’re good at this.”
His eyes were filled
with something not good, “You said yes to Mike?”
“I said yes to him as
a friend, firstly and secondly, I knew you’d say no to him and get me out of
dinner. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I let you do it. I’m sorry for
that.”
He lowered his face
over me, forming himself around me almost, “I got mad,
because there’s something here that I can’t shake. I need to see if it’s what I
think it is.”
I closed my eyes and
forced the images of the other girls, and the signing of the breasts, and the
flocks of women. I swallowed, “You’re not what I want.”
He lifted my face
sharply. I opened my eyes to see a look I’d never seen before, “Bullshit.” He
was vibrating and holding my face. I looked around at the small store, and the
old saying bull in a china shop started to become a possibility.
I panicked as he
gripped harder, like he was stuck that way, or just barely holding himself
together. I lifted my hands up to stroke his, “Hey, calm down.” I looked into
his eyes, “It isn’t you. It’s what you do. You, I want more than anything. I
want you to steal my food, and snuggle me on the couch, or window shop for
dresses like we did last week. Lead singer with girls crawling all over him and
totally famous, I don’t want that. I don’t want people watching me or thinking
bad things about me, because they want you.”
His vibrating hand
stayed on my jaw, still gripping too tight.
I tapped his fingers,
“Loch, you’re scaring me a little bit—talk. Say something,” I whispered
calmly. I trusted him. I didn’t trust the look in his eyes. I had pushed him
too far.
He took a couple deep breaths
and planted his lips on mine again, “You have to give me a chance. You’re
assuming I’m going to be that bad rock star boyfriend and I swear, I won’t.”
The dark look was gone when he stood back up.
I took my first real
breath, still whispering and searching his eyes for the thing I’d seen, “You’re
face gets so dark sometimes.”
He tried to smile but
it was like it was broken, “I’m sorry.”
I gripped his fingers,
“Lochlan, you were like frozen.”
His eyes pinched, “I
know. I’m sorry. I had to go to anger management after the show. They told me
to slow everything down and take breaths.”
I swallowed, changing
the subject, “If I say yes and you break my heart, we can’t live together
anymore. We won’t see each other anymore. We’ll lose the thing we have.”
He nodded, “I know.”
I maintained my stare
into his eyes, “What do you want more, to be near me always, or with me and
gamble it all away? ”
Without any hesitation
or thought on the subject he spoke, “With you, anyway I can have you. You know
me, baby, I’m always going to say yes to the incredible.”
I nodded, “Okay. We
can go out for dinner.”
A slow smile crossed
his face, “I’ll make you dinner at the house.”
My smile matched his,
“Danny?”
“I’ll ask Gerry to
take him to do something.” He bent his face close to mine again, “I’m sorry I
got mad when Mike asked you for dinner.”
I
any humor in them, he stroked his thumb across my
bottom lip. He replaced it with his mouth, sucking my lip into his mouth. We
both tasted like pastry. The kiss was slow and intense.
“I want you to date
me,” he whispered into my mouth.
I shook my head, “But
we live together. You were right. Think how intense that would be? Roommates
dating is too much.”
He swallowed, “I want
you.”
I bit my lip for fear
I would return what he’d said, or up the ante and say something so much worse,
“You said kissing me was a mistake.”
He shook his head, “I
meant kissing you behind the stage with groupies everywhere, like we’re hiding
in a corner, was a mistake. I won’t ever treat you
like you’re just some girl.” He kissed me again, “Go out for dinner with me.”
I laughed, pulling
back, “No. God damned, Loch. You’re good at this.”
His eyes were filled
with something not good, “You said yes to Mike?”
“I said yes to him as
a friend, firstly and secondly, I knew you’d say no to him and get me out of
dinner. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I let you do it. I’m sorry for
that.”
He lowered his face
over me, forming himself around me almost, “I got mad,
because there’s something here that I can’t shake. I need to see if it’s what I
think it is.”
I closed my eyes and
forced the images of the other girls, and the signing of the breasts, and the
flocks of women. I swallowed, “You’re not what I want.”
He lifted my face
sharply. I opened my eyes to see a look I’d never seen before, “Bullshit.” He
was vibrating and holding my face. I looked around at the small store, and the
old saying bull in a china shop started to become a possibility.
I panicked as he
gripped harder, like he was stuck that way, or just barely holding himself
together. I lifted my hands up to stroke his, “Hey, calm down.” I looked into
his eyes, “It isn’t you. It’s what you do. You, I want more than anything. I
want you to steal my food, and snuggle me on the couch, or window shop for
dresses like we did last week. Lead singer with girls crawling all over him and
totally famous, I don’t want that. I don’t want people watching me or thinking
bad things about me, because they want you.”
His vibrating hand
stayed on my jaw, still gripping too tight.
I tapped his fingers,
“Loch, you’re scaring me a little bit—talk. Say something,” I whispered
calmly. I trusted him. I didn’t trust the look in his eyes. I had pushed him
too far.
He took a couple deep breaths
and planted his lips on mine again, “You have to give me a chance. You’re
assuming I’m going to be that bad rock star boyfriend and I swear, I won’t.”
The dark look was gone when he stood back up.
I took my first real
breath, still whispering and searching his eyes for the thing I’d seen, “You’re
face gets so dark sometimes.”
He tried to smile but
it was like it was broken, “I’m sorry.”
I gripped his fingers,
“Lochlan, you were like frozen.”
His eyes pinched, “I
know. I’m sorry. I had to go to anger management after the show. They told me
to slow everything down and take breaths.”
I swallowed, changing
the subject, “If I say yes and you break my heart, we can’t live together
anymore. We won’t see each other anymore. We’ll lose the thing we have.”
He nodded, “I know.”
I maintained my stare
into his eyes, “What do you want more, to be near me always, or with me and
gamble it all away? ”
Without any hesitation
or thought on the subject he spoke, “With you, anyway I can have you. You know
me, baby, I’m always going to say yes to the incredible.”
I nodded, “Okay. We
can go out for dinner.”
A slow smile crossed
his face, “I’ll make you dinner at the house.”
My smile matched his,
“Danny?”
“I’ll ask Gerry to
take him to do something.” He bent his face close to mine again, “I’m sorry I
got mad when Mike asked you for dinner.”
I
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