My Naughty Little Secret by Tara Finnegan Page B

others by making me co-ordinator. I was actually quite chuffed. He seemed to be giving me more and more responsibility. Whatever objections Michael may have raised were obviously not enough to deter James from his plans. I couldn’t help but feel resentful. We were supposed to go for something to eat and back to his place that evening and I was tempted to cancel, but it was the last chance I had to see him before going home. Added to that, I was still nervous about what next week might bring.
    It was a rather subdued evening. I couldn’t very well tell Michael what I had overheard as I shouldn’t have been listening, and he obviously had a lot on his mind too as he was unusually quiet over our meal. Then he said he had dinner arranged with his father and stepmother for Wednesday evening. Crap, so that was what was bothering him. Maybe now when push came to shove, he didn’t want me to meet them. I knew he must be ashamed of me.
    When we finished eating, we went to Michael’s apartment where he poured us both a glass of wine. He was still very withdrawn.
    “Look, if it’s that big a deal, we can cancel Wednesday,” I snapped.
    “Sorry. Look, it’s not that I mind them meeting you; it’s you meeting them I have a problem with. I’m afraid you’ll be really angry. Anyway, it’s all arranged and you have to know sooner or later.” His face was ashen as he spoke in a low voice, scaring the shit out of me.
    “Know what, Michael?” I tremblingly beseeched.
    “Please, can we leave it until you get back? I want tonight. Please, Shiv…”
    I felt my heart was going to break in two. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good if he was so scared of telling me. He looked really torn; the furrows between his eyebrows were like deep ridges. I wanted to be able to soothe his fears, but if he wouldn’t tell me what the trouble was, how was I to help? I soothed him in the only way I knew I would get through to him for now. I led him through to the bedroom and slowly and tantalisingly started to remove my clothes item by item, shimmying and making a pathetic attempt at belly-dancing. I over-exaggerated every movement until it was almost farcical. Finally he rewarded me with a grin.
    “Siobhan Brennan, I love you.”
    Flaming Norah, did I just hear the L word? Crap, I was so not ready to deal with that one, not with all this shit hanging over us. Panic mode, fire alarms ringing in my head. I couldn’t think, what the hell was I supposed to say? Duh, yeah, I know I was supposed to say it back, but I couldn’t. Not yet, anyway. I hadn’t begun to allow myself to think like that. I was still waiting for him to leave me, remember.
    “No, you love the sex,” I teased, undressing him.
    “I love you and the sex,” he corrected.
    Awkward silence. I was standing there naked and there was this gaping hole, waiting to be filled with my words. And I couldn’t do it. I felt like a complete heel, but I couldn’t say it just because he had.
    “Michael, it’s only been a couple of months, it’s a bit soon to talk about love. You’re back to stalking.”
    “I know how I feel. I don’t want to lose you. Promise me next week you’ll at least give me a chance; don’t just fly off the handle.”
    “Fuck it, what’s so bad that I’ll want to leave, and if you’re not going to tell me tonight, will you just shut up about it. I can’t stand this.”
    Thankfully the bad language was enough to distract him and he chased me round the room and gave me a good stinger on my already bare behind, lightening the mood. I fought him off and he lifted me up and threw me on the bed, climbing on top of me. Squealing with laughter, I raised my two legs and kicked him off with all my might. And the surfing meant I was strong. We scuffled for a bit, both really getting excited by the fight. The more I resisted, the more determined he became, until he eventually overpowered me and pinned my arms with his hands. He roughly spread my legs with his. He