for them, and I did my best to treat them like they deserved, but no matter how hard I tried, they still weren’t my Mom and Dad. They were the best adopted parents anyone could wish for, though. I was damn lucky to have them.
“Of course.” Her hand retracted to the flyer on the bed. “What’s this?” She picked it up, her eyes skimming over it.
“Oh, it’s a flyer about a summer photography program in New York City.”
“I see that. It says you get credit for one class and an internship, as well. I think this would be great for you.” Her brows lifted and then dropped. “Oh, but it says the deadline was this past Friday.”
“I know.” I pouted. “I kind of forgot about it.”
“Delaney, you can’t forget about important stuff like this.” She shook the paper at me.
“I know.” I rolled my eyes, peeved that I didn’t have my shit together. “But I did email my professor last night about it. Told him we were on vacation, and I didn’t have access to my email and wasn’t able to apply in time. I’m waiting to hear back from him.”
“You lied to him?” Her eyes widened, and she blinked heavily.
I shrugged. “It was a small lie.”
She shook her head. “Delaney, if you lie about little things, eventually you’ll catch yourself lying about bigger things, and it only gets worse from there. You know better than that.”
My head dropped toward the bed. She was right. I was constantly lying about little things and lying hard to myself about what I really wanted. But the lies were what got me through life. I had to lie to myself that everything was okay because in reality, nothing was okay. My life sucked, and I hated it. But every day, I got up and told myself that I would make it. I would live even though everyone around me had died.
With her hand, she lifted my chin. “You know I love you. You’re the child I never had. Martin and I are fortunate to be able to provide for you and give you every opportunity to succeed in life. We only want what’s best for you Delaney, but if you keep holding on to these past hurts, you’ll never be able to move forward.”
I glanced at her through the strands of my hair. “I know, but it’s not that easy.”
“I can only imagine.” She sniffed. “But nothing in life is easy.”
I huffed. “It’s more than that. What happened to me, my parents, to my . . .” I stopped, not wanting to think about everything that had been ripped away from me. “It’s just not fair.” Tears poured from my eyes, releasing some of the hurt and pain I’d been keeping inside.
“Oh, sweetie.” Her arms embraced me, and she held me close. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to get through this.”
“Why does God hate me so much?” I wailed. “What did I ever do to Him to deserve this?”
With her hands on either side of my face, she lifted my head and looked at me. “God doesn’t hate you. Things happen for reasons beyond our understanding. But I promise, you can get through this.” She wiped my tears with the tips of her fingers. “You can rise above all this trauma and grief and find a peaceful place. A place where you can be happy and be thankful for the life you do have. God wants that for you, if you can only learn how to forgive and move on.”
“It’s just so hard.” I sniffed and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. She was right. I’d been holding on to the sadness like a souvenir. It was a shitty souvenir to hold on to. It was something I didn’t want any more, but I had no idea how to let it go. Through my painful memories, I somehow found strength to keep living and going on with my life.
“Here, sweetie.” She handed me a tissue. “Don’t cry, anymore. You’re a strong woman, and I know you can overcome this heartache.”
“Thanks.” I wiped my nose and nodded. She was right. I would persevere through this agony because I refused to let it win. “Don’t worry, I won’t let this get the best of me.”
“Good.”
“Of course.” Her hand retracted to the flyer on the bed. “What’s this?” She picked it up, her eyes skimming over it.
“Oh, it’s a flyer about a summer photography program in New York City.”
“I see that. It says you get credit for one class and an internship, as well. I think this would be great for you.” Her brows lifted and then dropped. “Oh, but it says the deadline was this past Friday.”
“I know.” I pouted. “I kind of forgot about it.”
“Delaney, you can’t forget about important stuff like this.” She shook the paper at me.
“I know.” I rolled my eyes, peeved that I didn’t have my shit together. “But I did email my professor last night about it. Told him we were on vacation, and I didn’t have access to my email and wasn’t able to apply in time. I’m waiting to hear back from him.”
“You lied to him?” Her eyes widened, and she blinked heavily.
I shrugged. “It was a small lie.”
She shook her head. “Delaney, if you lie about little things, eventually you’ll catch yourself lying about bigger things, and it only gets worse from there. You know better than that.”
My head dropped toward the bed. She was right. I was constantly lying about little things and lying hard to myself about what I really wanted. But the lies were what got me through life. I had to lie to myself that everything was okay because in reality, nothing was okay. My life sucked, and I hated it. But every day, I got up and told myself that I would make it. I would live even though everyone around me had died.
With her hand, she lifted my chin. “You know I love you. You’re the child I never had. Martin and I are fortunate to be able to provide for you and give you every opportunity to succeed in life. We only want what’s best for you Delaney, but if you keep holding on to these past hurts, you’ll never be able to move forward.”
I glanced at her through the strands of my hair. “I know, but it’s not that easy.”
“I can only imagine.” She sniffed. “But nothing in life is easy.”
I huffed. “It’s more than that. What happened to me, my parents, to my . . .” I stopped, not wanting to think about everything that had been ripped away from me. “It’s just not fair.” Tears poured from my eyes, releasing some of the hurt and pain I’d been keeping inside.
“Oh, sweetie.” Her arms embraced me, and she held me close. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to get through this.”
“Why does God hate me so much?” I wailed. “What did I ever do to Him to deserve this?”
With her hands on either side of my face, she lifted my head and looked at me. “God doesn’t hate you. Things happen for reasons beyond our understanding. But I promise, you can get through this.” She wiped my tears with the tips of her fingers. “You can rise above all this trauma and grief and find a peaceful place. A place where you can be happy and be thankful for the life you do have. God wants that for you, if you can only learn how to forgive and move on.”
“It’s just so hard.” I sniffed and wiped my nose with the back of my hand. She was right. I’d been holding on to the sadness like a souvenir. It was a shitty souvenir to hold on to. It was something I didn’t want any more, but I had no idea how to let it go. Through my painful memories, I somehow found strength to keep living and going on with my life.
“Here, sweetie.” She handed me a tissue. “Don’t cry, anymore. You’re a strong woman, and I know you can overcome this heartache.”
“Thanks.” I wiped my nose and nodded. She was right. I would persevere through this agony because I refused to let it win. “Don’t worry, I won’t let this get the best of me.”
“Good.”
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