Lacey. When I’m back in my room I’m safe. I’ll be safe.
I lower myself down onto the toilet seat, gripping the ceiling as I go. My socks slide on the plastic lid and for a moment I picture myself slipping, landing on the floor and splitting my head open.
“Focus, Mary,” I whisper.
I can do this .
Through my socks I grip on the sides of the toilet seat, finding purchase. Slowly, I allow my weight onto my legs and let go of the ceiling above my head. My heart hammers against my chest and adrenaline courses through my body, but somehow I control myself. It’s only at the last moment that I slip a little and land on the toilet seat with a bump, bruising my backside. I pause with my hand clamped over my mouth. Falling had made a thudding sound. How loud was it? Loud enough to attract the attention of someone on the ward?
There’s no time to wait all night. The room is silent and dark. I have to get out and back to my room without being c aught by anyone, let alone Gethen.
I’ve lost the screws for the air vent so the only thing I can do is hide it up in the ceiling and hope no one notices. At least not until tomorrow. After it’s hidden I steal through the bathroom and into the hall. When I pass Mo and Frankie’s room, a shiver passes down my spine. He did that. I hadn’t got proof, but it was Gethen; I know it, deep down.
Breathlessly I turn the corner onto my hallway. I’m a few feet away, I can make it. If I run down the corridor to my room, third on the right…
The light goes on.
A silhouette can be seen walking towards the hall and I have no choice but to rush back around the corner. It’s him.
I peek arou nd the corner of the hall. Gethen stands at the door of the first room, the one nearest the communal hall. A girl from my group therapy class lives there. She’s pretty mouthy. Gethen knocks three times on the door.
No answer.
He knocks again.
The light goes on in the room. There’s a thud and someone swears loudly. The door opens.
“What do you want, man? Don’t you know it’s like 4am or whatever?” she says.
“Room check,” Gethen replies in his monotone deep voice.
“What the fuck? You ain’t searchin’ my room. I know my rights.”
“You have no rights,” he says stepping forward. “Until I have searched your room.”
“Nah.” She shakes her head. “Hey, Jessa, this tosspot wants to search our room.”
Jessa comes out and the two of them start arguing with waggling fingers, keeping Gethen busy. I have a chance and I take it. I sneak towards my door, running softly. Jessa catches my eye and I put a finger to my lips. She distracts Gethen by storming into her room and yelling some more.
Thank you, Jessa.
I get the door open and sneak in silently.
Lacey is immediately out of bed. “Where have you been? What happened? What’s going on out there?”
“No time to explain.” I dump the torch in my bedside table, pull the pillows out of the bed and arrange them properly, dust down my pyjamas for cobwebs and dirt, then jump into bed. “Gethen is gonna check the room. We need to act like we’ve just been woken up.”
My heart does a flip at the thought of him coming to the room.
“What’s going on, Mares?” she whispers.
“No time to explain.”
“You look terrible.”
“I feel it.”
There’s a knock at the door. Lacey turns on her lamp and meets my gaze. “Showtime,” she mouths.
After scruffing up her hair, Lacey pads over to the door and opens it. “What the hell? It’s 4am. What’s going on?”
“Room check,” Gethen says. “Where’s your roommate?”
Out in the hall I can still hear Jessa yelling. “This is a violation of human rights, innit. I’m gonna have you arrested.” I could hug her.
“My roommate is right here.” Lacey opens the door wide and I see him.
He stands tall and stooped, black marble eyes sunken into his skull. The sight of his pale, gangly body makes every part of my body cold. It’s like dread coats my skin.
I lower myself down onto the toilet seat, gripping the ceiling as I go. My socks slide on the plastic lid and for a moment I picture myself slipping, landing on the floor and splitting my head open.
“Focus, Mary,” I whisper.
I can do this .
Through my socks I grip on the sides of the toilet seat, finding purchase. Slowly, I allow my weight onto my legs and let go of the ceiling above my head. My heart hammers against my chest and adrenaline courses through my body, but somehow I control myself. It’s only at the last moment that I slip a little and land on the toilet seat with a bump, bruising my backside. I pause with my hand clamped over my mouth. Falling had made a thudding sound. How loud was it? Loud enough to attract the attention of someone on the ward?
There’s no time to wait all night. The room is silent and dark. I have to get out and back to my room without being c aught by anyone, let alone Gethen.
I’ve lost the screws for the air vent so the only thing I can do is hide it up in the ceiling and hope no one notices. At least not until tomorrow. After it’s hidden I steal through the bathroom and into the hall. When I pass Mo and Frankie’s room, a shiver passes down my spine. He did that. I hadn’t got proof, but it was Gethen; I know it, deep down.
Breathlessly I turn the corner onto my hallway. I’m a few feet away, I can make it. If I run down the corridor to my room, third on the right…
The light goes on.
A silhouette can be seen walking towards the hall and I have no choice but to rush back around the corner. It’s him.
I peek arou nd the corner of the hall. Gethen stands at the door of the first room, the one nearest the communal hall. A girl from my group therapy class lives there. She’s pretty mouthy. Gethen knocks three times on the door.
No answer.
He knocks again.
The light goes on in the room. There’s a thud and someone swears loudly. The door opens.
“What do you want, man? Don’t you know it’s like 4am or whatever?” she says.
“Room check,” Gethen replies in his monotone deep voice.
“What the fuck? You ain’t searchin’ my room. I know my rights.”
“You have no rights,” he says stepping forward. “Until I have searched your room.”
“Nah.” She shakes her head. “Hey, Jessa, this tosspot wants to search our room.”
Jessa comes out and the two of them start arguing with waggling fingers, keeping Gethen busy. I have a chance and I take it. I sneak towards my door, running softly. Jessa catches my eye and I put a finger to my lips. She distracts Gethen by storming into her room and yelling some more.
Thank you, Jessa.
I get the door open and sneak in silently.
Lacey is immediately out of bed. “Where have you been? What happened? What’s going on out there?”
“No time to explain.” I dump the torch in my bedside table, pull the pillows out of the bed and arrange them properly, dust down my pyjamas for cobwebs and dirt, then jump into bed. “Gethen is gonna check the room. We need to act like we’ve just been woken up.”
My heart does a flip at the thought of him coming to the room.
“What’s going on, Mares?” she whispers.
“No time to explain.”
“You look terrible.”
“I feel it.”
There’s a knock at the door. Lacey turns on her lamp and meets my gaze. “Showtime,” she mouths.
After scruffing up her hair, Lacey pads over to the door and opens it. “What the hell? It’s 4am. What’s going on?”
“Room check,” Gethen says. “Where’s your roommate?”
Out in the hall I can still hear Jessa yelling. “This is a violation of human rights, innit. I’m gonna have you arrested.” I could hug her.
“My roommate is right here.” Lacey opens the door wide and I see him.
He stands tall and stooped, black marble eyes sunken into his skull. The sight of his pale, gangly body makes every part of my body cold. It’s like dread coats my skin.
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