Mr. Docker Is Off His Rocker! by Dan Gutman Page B

potatoes! Watch this!”
    He took two potatoes out of his desk and put them in the clock. Then he took the wires that went from the clock and stuck them into the potatoes. The littlescreen on the clock lit up and said “10:15.”

    â€œIt works!” we all shouted. “Wow! That’s cool!”
    â€œI love potatoes!” said Mr. Docker. Then he let out this cackling laugh, just like scientists do in the movies. That’s a suresign that somebody is crazy.
    â€œWhy did you make a clock out of potatoes?” Andrea asked.
    â€œI wanted to see time fry!” said Mr. Docker. “Get it? Time fry? Potatoes? French fries?”
    I laughed at his joke, even though it wasn’t very funny. My friend Billy who lives around the corner told me that if a teacher makes a joke and you don’t laugh, they get mad and give you extra homework. So always laugh at your teacher’s jokes, no matter how bad they are. That’s the first rule of being a kid.
    â€œBut seriously,” Mr. Docker said, “the Earth is going to run out of oil someday.We’ll need to use other forms of energy.”
    â€œLike potato power?” I asked.
    â€œExactly!” Mr. Docker said. “Imagine, if two potatoes can make enough energy to run a clock, what could two hundred potatoes run? Or two thousand ? Or two million ?”
    Mr. Docker is a real potato freak. But as he was talking, his potato clock stopped.
    â€œWhat time is it?” Michael asked.
    â€œTime to change potatoes,” said Mr. Docker. Then he let out his evil, demented, cackling laugh again.
    Mr. Docker is off his rocker!

3
Stop, Drop, and Roll
    Andrea was so obnoxious with her dictionary. Every five minutes she looked up another word so she could show how smart she is.
    But I got her. When she went to the bathroom during cleanup time, I snuck over to her desk and opened thedictionary. I flipped through the pages until I found the word “stupid.” Then I drew a picture of Andrea and a line pointing to the word.
    It was great. You should have been there. I closed the dictionary just before Andrea came back from the bathroom. Nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her! I couldn’t wait for her to find the picture.
    Miss Daisy told us to line up for science. We walked a million hundred miles to the science room. Mr. Docker wasn’t there yet, but then he rolled in on that lawn mower thing. He was eating potato chips. Mr. Docker sure loves potatoes.
    â€œSorry I’m late,” he said. “I was readinga book about helium, and I just couldn’t put it down.” And then he did that cackling demented laugh, so we had to laugh so he wouldn’t give us extra homework.
    Mr. Docker told us that he is eighty years old and he has seen a lot of science in his life. When he was a kid, they didn’t have important stuff like microwave popcorn or Velcro or sneakers that light up when you walk.
    â€œWow!” I said. “Do you remember when they discovered fire? Were you there when they invented the wheel?”
    â€œI’m not quite that old,” Mr. Docker said. “But when I was your age, they didn’t have video games.”
    â€œNo video games?” I asked. “How did you survive?”
    â€œI did experiments!” he said. “Let’s do an experiment right now. What do you think would happen if we combined water with the chemicals citric acid and sodium bicarbonate?”
    â€œBeats me,” Michael said.
    â€œLet’s do the experiment to find out!” said Mr. Docker.
    He took one of those tiny little plastic cans they use to hold camera film and put hot water in it. He dropped in a piece of Alka-Seltzer, which is this medicine my dad takes when he has a tummy ache. Then he snapped the top on the film canand put it upside down on the floor.
    Nothing happened for a few seconds. Then the film can suddenly shot up into the air and bounced off the ceiling.
    â€œThe chemical