will tear every ship from the Academy’s branches until I find him.”
“Now I don’t know why we gotta resort to violence . I mean, why can’t we just talk this out like two grown men - you know, man-to-mant?”
“Mant? Another ant joke?”
“Yeah, but that was a pretty good one, I think.” Pinch smiled. “Do you? So will you assist me, Rexford - or shall I simply kill you now?”
Rex raised a finger. “Just hold that thought.” He turned to Tabitha and whispered, “Well, darlin’, looks likethis is the end of the road. Now here’s what you’re gonna do - go get the Headmaster and start portalling everyone outta here.”
“You want to run?” she whispered. “Let’s stay and fight.”
“Fight? You see what Pinch looks like now? He’s the size of a building and crazy to boot. No fighting’s gonna happen here - only dying - and if we try it, we’re gonna take a lot of students with us. I can’t chance that.” He turned back to Pinch and shouted: “OK, I made my decision. I’m gonna go with option two - the one where you ‘kill me now’.”
Rex threw his lasso up to the prow of the wrecked ship above him and swung out on it - straight at Pinch - like Tarzan on a vine. Pinch snatched him from the air with a giant claw.
“Rex!” Tabitha yelled. “What in the world are you doing?”
“What I need to, just like you need to do what I told ya to!” Rex turned back to Pinch - this close, his red, plated face loomed like the side of a skyscraper. “OK, Ugly, you got me. Now go ahead and do what you promised - kill me now. Go on. Squeeze me to death. Pop off my head like a cork - shouldn’t take but a second.”
“What are you up to, Rexford?” Pinch asked, eyes narrowing.
“Up to? Dang, Pinch, you always think everyone’s got an ulterior motive just cos you always got one. Now go on and squeeze. Here, I’ll give you a count - one, two, three, squeeze !”
“ Stop that! ”
“What?” Rex looked genuinely befuddled. “What’s the problem now?”
“You’re trying to control things. I’m the one in charge here - not you!”
“Geez, obviously you’re in charge, Pinch. I mean, you’re the killer here - I’m just the killee. Now here we go: one, two, three, squeeze !”
“I said STOP IT!”
“Or what? You’ll kill me?”
Pinch groaned. “You are the single most frustrating human being in existence, do you know that?”
Rex grinned. “Guilty as charged. Just ask Tabitha. She’ll go on and on about it.”
I’ll be danged , Rex thought. This crazy plan is actually working .
He knew that Pinch wanted - more than anything - to be the most powerful one around. As long as he kept insisting that Pinch kill him right away, Rex was prettysure that the vain man would refuse. After all, no one could tell Edward Pinch what to do! It wasn’t a great plan, but Rex hoped that, with a little luck, it would at least give Tabitha enough time to evacuate the students from the Academy before Pinch could turn his full fury on them.
“Let’s just get back to the business at hand,” the cowboy said, “which is the killing of little old me. Now you just do exactly what I tell you, Pinch. On the count of three - squeeze. Here we go. One, two, three - squeeze !”
Then, to Rex’s horror, Pinch did.
Deep in the Chamber of Ancient Weapons, Violet turned to the Smith.
“Whatever the sacrifice is, I accept it so that Charlie can get the sword.”
“EXCELLENT.”
The giant frog’s eyes glittered and Charlie, still paralysed, was repulsed to see how thrilled the creature was to inflict more pain.
How many other seekers have there been? he wondered. And how much did their friends suffer at the whim of the Smith? Given the extraordinary toll taken on the people involved, Charlie thought it would have been a miracle if anyone had ever actually laid hands on the priceless weapon.
Of course, it wasn’t actually priceless - it had a price. A terrible one.
“Brooke BRIGHTON,” the
“Now I don’t know why we gotta resort to violence . I mean, why can’t we just talk this out like two grown men - you know, man-to-mant?”
“Mant? Another ant joke?”
“Yeah, but that was a pretty good one, I think.” Pinch smiled. “Do you? So will you assist me, Rexford - or shall I simply kill you now?”
Rex raised a finger. “Just hold that thought.” He turned to Tabitha and whispered, “Well, darlin’, looks likethis is the end of the road. Now here’s what you’re gonna do - go get the Headmaster and start portalling everyone outta here.”
“You want to run?” she whispered. “Let’s stay and fight.”
“Fight? You see what Pinch looks like now? He’s the size of a building and crazy to boot. No fighting’s gonna happen here - only dying - and if we try it, we’re gonna take a lot of students with us. I can’t chance that.” He turned back to Pinch and shouted: “OK, I made my decision. I’m gonna go with option two - the one where you ‘kill me now’.”
Rex threw his lasso up to the prow of the wrecked ship above him and swung out on it - straight at Pinch - like Tarzan on a vine. Pinch snatched him from the air with a giant claw.
“Rex!” Tabitha yelled. “What in the world are you doing?”
“What I need to, just like you need to do what I told ya to!” Rex turned back to Pinch - this close, his red, plated face loomed like the side of a skyscraper. “OK, Ugly, you got me. Now go ahead and do what you promised - kill me now. Go on. Squeeze me to death. Pop off my head like a cork - shouldn’t take but a second.”
“What are you up to, Rexford?” Pinch asked, eyes narrowing.
“Up to? Dang, Pinch, you always think everyone’s got an ulterior motive just cos you always got one. Now go on and squeeze. Here, I’ll give you a count - one, two, three, squeeze !”
“ Stop that! ”
“What?” Rex looked genuinely befuddled. “What’s the problem now?”
“You’re trying to control things. I’m the one in charge here - not you!”
“Geez, obviously you’re in charge, Pinch. I mean, you’re the killer here - I’m just the killee. Now here we go: one, two, three, squeeze !”
“I said STOP IT!”
“Or what? You’ll kill me?”
Pinch groaned. “You are the single most frustrating human being in existence, do you know that?”
Rex grinned. “Guilty as charged. Just ask Tabitha. She’ll go on and on about it.”
I’ll be danged , Rex thought. This crazy plan is actually working .
He knew that Pinch wanted - more than anything - to be the most powerful one around. As long as he kept insisting that Pinch kill him right away, Rex was prettysure that the vain man would refuse. After all, no one could tell Edward Pinch what to do! It wasn’t a great plan, but Rex hoped that, with a little luck, it would at least give Tabitha enough time to evacuate the students from the Academy before Pinch could turn his full fury on them.
“Let’s just get back to the business at hand,” the cowboy said, “which is the killing of little old me. Now you just do exactly what I tell you, Pinch. On the count of three - squeeze. Here we go. One, two, three - squeeze !”
Then, to Rex’s horror, Pinch did.
Deep in the Chamber of Ancient Weapons, Violet turned to the Smith.
“Whatever the sacrifice is, I accept it so that Charlie can get the sword.”
“EXCELLENT.”
The giant frog’s eyes glittered and Charlie, still paralysed, was repulsed to see how thrilled the creature was to inflict more pain.
How many other seekers have there been? he wondered. And how much did their friends suffer at the whim of the Smith? Given the extraordinary toll taken on the people involved, Charlie thought it would have been a miracle if anyone had ever actually laid hands on the priceless weapon.
Of course, it wasn’t actually priceless - it had a price. A terrible one.
“Brooke BRIGHTON,” the
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