him not to allude to the divinest of her sex as his dashed niece, but he abstained from rebuke. Policy dictated a friendly and respectful attitude towards this old codger.
"Oh, yes."
"Still love her, hey?"
Jeff assured him that the passage of two and a half hours had made no difference in his fervour, except perhaps to deepen it, and Lord Uffenham seemed relieved.
"That's good. Because I told her you did, and if you had changed your mind, it might have made me look a silly ass."
Although a young man not ill-equipped with sang froid Jeff found it impossible to restrain a start.
"You told her I loved her?"
"Yerss."
"I see. Er—how did she appear to take it?"
"Looked a bit thoughtful, it seemed to me."
"I see."
"Gave me the impression she was turning the thing over in her mind."
"I see."
"What's the matter? You sound stuffy."
"Oh, no. It only occurred to me that she might have thought it a little sudden."
"You've got to be sudden with a girl like Anne. Listen," said Lord Uffenham, once more driving a piston-like finger at Jeff's knee, "I'll tell yer something. When I saw yer this evening, I took an instant liking to yer."
"That was very nice of you. I can assure you that I, for my part---"
"Don't interrupt, blast yer. An instant liking, I say. I'm a great reader of character—got an eye like an X-ray—and I saw at a glance that you were a fine young feller. I have neither chick nor child—at least, I don't think so," said Lord Uffenham, after a moment's hesitation, "and I regard you as a son. As a son, dash it. You're just the sort of feller I'd like to see married to Anne. You're like I was at your age, a hell of a young chap. They don't seem to breed 'em nowadays. Most modern young men are squirts and perishers. D'yer know Mrs. Cork's nephew, Lionel Green?"
"We have met."
"There's a perisher for you. There's a squirt, if you want one. A Hivite and a Jcbusite, no less. And Anne goes and gets engaged to him."
"What!"
"That's right. With the pick of the land at her disposal, she goes and gets secretly engaged to Lionel Green."
Jeff was shaken to his foundations. The hideous news had found him utterly unprepared. Not for an instant had he suspected the possibility of this dreadful state of things.
True, Mrs. Cork had hinted at such a possibility, but he had naturally paid little attention to her wild theories. If Mrs. Cork, he had felt, had observed anything in the relations of Anne Benedick and Lionel Green, it had no doubt been the wart Green persecuting the girl with his loathsome addresses. And as for all that stuff about her eyes blazing when she read of his, Jeff's, pitiless expose of the man, he had simply not believed it. What had happened, he presumed, was that her eyes had shone with a pretty delight, as what girl's would not, who read of a pill who had persecuted her with his addresses being put on the griddle by a brilliantly incisive young cross-examiner.
He stared, aghast.
"You don't mean that?"
This seemed to puzzle Lord Uffenham.
"What d'yer think I mean?" he asked.
"It's too frightful."
"Ghastly."
"We must save her."
"Exactly. You must cut him out."
"I will."
"How do you propose to set about it?"
"Well---"
Lord Uffenham raised a hand, like a policeman directing traffic.
"That's enough. That tells me the whole story. You aren't thinking along the right lines. If you were, you wouldn't have said 'Well … you'd have said 'Set about it? I'll tell yer how I'm going to set about it. By setting about her, dash it, and sweeping her off her dashed feet!' That's what you would have said, and that's the only way you'll do it. Grab her! Seize her! Fold her in a close embrace. A really close embrace. One that'll make her ribs creak. Kiss her, too, of course. Kiss her repeatedly. At the same time saying 'You are my mate, dash it,' or something to that effect. That'll do the trick. That'll divert her mind from that oily French polisher of hers."
He ceased. The glow faded from his eyes,
"Oh, yes."
"Still love her, hey?"
Jeff assured him that the passage of two and a half hours had made no difference in his fervour, except perhaps to deepen it, and Lord Uffenham seemed relieved.
"That's good. Because I told her you did, and if you had changed your mind, it might have made me look a silly ass."
Although a young man not ill-equipped with sang froid Jeff found it impossible to restrain a start.
"You told her I loved her?"
"Yerss."
"I see. Er—how did she appear to take it?"
"Looked a bit thoughtful, it seemed to me."
"I see."
"Gave me the impression she was turning the thing over in her mind."
"I see."
"What's the matter? You sound stuffy."
"Oh, no. It only occurred to me that she might have thought it a little sudden."
"You've got to be sudden with a girl like Anne. Listen," said Lord Uffenham, once more driving a piston-like finger at Jeff's knee, "I'll tell yer something. When I saw yer this evening, I took an instant liking to yer."
"That was very nice of you. I can assure you that I, for my part---"
"Don't interrupt, blast yer. An instant liking, I say. I'm a great reader of character—got an eye like an X-ray—and I saw at a glance that you were a fine young feller. I have neither chick nor child—at least, I don't think so," said Lord Uffenham, after a moment's hesitation, "and I regard you as a son. As a son, dash it. You're just the sort of feller I'd like to see married to Anne. You're like I was at your age, a hell of a young chap. They don't seem to breed 'em nowadays. Most modern young men are squirts and perishers. D'yer know Mrs. Cork's nephew, Lionel Green?"
"We have met."
"There's a perisher for you. There's a squirt, if you want one. A Hivite and a Jcbusite, no less. And Anne goes and gets engaged to him."
"What!"
"That's right. With the pick of the land at her disposal, she goes and gets secretly engaged to Lionel Green."
Jeff was shaken to his foundations. The hideous news had found him utterly unprepared. Not for an instant had he suspected the possibility of this dreadful state of things.
True, Mrs. Cork had hinted at such a possibility, but he had naturally paid little attention to her wild theories. If Mrs. Cork, he had felt, had observed anything in the relations of Anne Benedick and Lionel Green, it had no doubt been the wart Green persecuting the girl with his loathsome addresses. And as for all that stuff about her eyes blazing when she read of his, Jeff's, pitiless expose of the man, he had simply not believed it. What had happened, he presumed, was that her eyes had shone with a pretty delight, as what girl's would not, who read of a pill who had persecuted her with his addresses being put on the griddle by a brilliantly incisive young cross-examiner.
He stared, aghast.
"You don't mean that?"
This seemed to puzzle Lord Uffenham.
"What d'yer think I mean?" he asked.
"It's too frightful."
"Ghastly."
"We must save her."
"Exactly. You must cut him out."
"I will."
"How do you propose to set about it?"
"Well---"
Lord Uffenham raised a hand, like a policeman directing traffic.
"That's enough. That tells me the whole story. You aren't thinking along the right lines. If you were, you wouldn't have said 'Well … you'd have said 'Set about it? I'll tell yer how I'm going to set about it. By setting about her, dash it, and sweeping her off her dashed feet!' That's what you would have said, and that's the only way you'll do it. Grab her! Seize her! Fold her in a close embrace. A really close embrace. One that'll make her ribs creak. Kiss her, too, of course. Kiss her repeatedly. At the same time saying 'You are my mate, dash it,' or something to that effect. That'll do the trick. That'll divert her mind from that oily French polisher of hers."
He ceased. The glow faded from his eyes,
Similar Books
