broken heart. Now was only the meantime.
Spring came, and on a cloudy April afternoon, Shelly walked out of a shop on the Drag, carrying a birthday gift for her mother in a box under her arm, and saw Wyatt standing at the curb with a beautiful woman she knew must be Elaine, who held a baby. Elaine looked like Cher, her dark hair parted and swinging around her as she cradled the baby and leaned to retrieve something out of Wyatt’s car. Wyatt lifted the baby out of her arms, and when he turned, Shelly saw the child’s face—the round eyes and toothless grin as he looked up at his father and his father looked at him.
She walked in a daze back to her dorm and sat for a long time on her bed, wondering how she had let herself become this person. Until that day, Elaine and Nate had been faceless to Shelly, but now she couldn’t dispel the awful feeling of seeing Wyatt in his other life, and couldn’t deny how well that life seemed to fit him. She couldn’t forget the look of happiness on the child’s face when he was in his father’s arms, and she tried to summon the strength to stop seeing Wyatt.
10
HOW AFRAID SHE WAS
Hoping distance would break the spell, Shelly went home to Lockhart for the summer and got a part-time job keeping the books at the local feed and hardware store. She was at a desk piled with accounting ledgers in a back room crowded with boxes of plumbing supplies when she realized that her period was three days late.
For two weeks she waited, sleepless and worried, praying at night on her knees as she had not done since she was a child. Afraid to go to her family doctor, she asked her high school boyfriend, Billy, to take her to Austin on his day off from the oil rigs.
“I need to sign up for fall courses,” she told Billy as an excuse.
They drove in his rattling Ford pickup. It smelled like oil from the rigs, and the cabin smelled of exhaust fumes. Shelly bounced around on the uncomfortable bench seat, feeling sick to her stomach. But she chatted with Billy. He was nice-looking, with dark curly hair, and he wore a black ball cap with a John Deere logo. One of his eyes was brown and one was a cloudy blue and had what looked like a bubble on it from an accident with a firecracker when he was in second grade.
He let her out near the campus and drove off to Barton Springs to meet a friend and go swimming. When he was gone, Shelly put on a ring she had inherited from her great-aunt, then walked to Sabine Street, to the Planned Parenthood clinic that a girl from her dorm had once been to and talked about. It was a stucco house with a portico, and she climbed the steps and went inside and registered in the front room under a made-up name, pretending she was married.
The doctor was kind to her. He examined her, took a urine sample, and told her to come back on Thursday or Friday for the results.
“But do you think I’m pregnant?” She tried to sound happy about it.
He didn’t appear to be fooled. “Let’s wait and see,” he told her. “We’ll know in a few days.”
“But we used a condom. Aren’t they effective?”
“Usually they are. Not always.”
She walked back to campus, unsure what to do next. She wanted to go to the art building and see if Wyatt was there, but couldn’t think of what she would tell him. His life would be ruined if her fears were true. Over and over, she recalled the details of making love with him six weeks ago. It was one of the only times they had been in a motel room. A fan had turned slowly over the bed. I Dream of Jeannie was playing on television.
They had been so careful. Surely she couldn’t be pregnant.
On the Drag, she sat in a booth at the Rexall and drank a Coke in the air conditioning and waited for Billy to pick her up at the corner.
Later, when she was back in Lockhart, the wait became terrible. She felt nauseated and feverish and tried to tell herself this was only due to her emotions. But every passing day confirmed her anxieties. She
Spring came, and on a cloudy April afternoon, Shelly walked out of a shop on the Drag, carrying a birthday gift for her mother in a box under her arm, and saw Wyatt standing at the curb with a beautiful woman she knew must be Elaine, who held a baby. Elaine looked like Cher, her dark hair parted and swinging around her as she cradled the baby and leaned to retrieve something out of Wyatt’s car. Wyatt lifted the baby out of her arms, and when he turned, Shelly saw the child’s face—the round eyes and toothless grin as he looked up at his father and his father looked at him.
She walked in a daze back to her dorm and sat for a long time on her bed, wondering how she had let herself become this person. Until that day, Elaine and Nate had been faceless to Shelly, but now she couldn’t dispel the awful feeling of seeing Wyatt in his other life, and couldn’t deny how well that life seemed to fit him. She couldn’t forget the look of happiness on the child’s face when he was in his father’s arms, and she tried to summon the strength to stop seeing Wyatt.
10
HOW AFRAID SHE WAS
Hoping distance would break the spell, Shelly went home to Lockhart for the summer and got a part-time job keeping the books at the local feed and hardware store. She was at a desk piled with accounting ledgers in a back room crowded with boxes of plumbing supplies when she realized that her period was three days late.
For two weeks she waited, sleepless and worried, praying at night on her knees as she had not done since she was a child. Afraid to go to her family doctor, she asked her high school boyfriend, Billy, to take her to Austin on his day off from the oil rigs.
“I need to sign up for fall courses,” she told Billy as an excuse.
They drove in his rattling Ford pickup. It smelled like oil from the rigs, and the cabin smelled of exhaust fumes. Shelly bounced around on the uncomfortable bench seat, feeling sick to her stomach. But she chatted with Billy. He was nice-looking, with dark curly hair, and he wore a black ball cap with a John Deere logo. One of his eyes was brown and one was a cloudy blue and had what looked like a bubble on it from an accident with a firecracker when he was in second grade.
He let her out near the campus and drove off to Barton Springs to meet a friend and go swimming. When he was gone, Shelly put on a ring she had inherited from her great-aunt, then walked to Sabine Street, to the Planned Parenthood clinic that a girl from her dorm had once been to and talked about. It was a stucco house with a portico, and she climbed the steps and went inside and registered in the front room under a made-up name, pretending she was married.
The doctor was kind to her. He examined her, took a urine sample, and told her to come back on Thursday or Friday for the results.
“But do you think I’m pregnant?” She tried to sound happy about it.
He didn’t appear to be fooled. “Let’s wait and see,” he told her. “We’ll know in a few days.”
“But we used a condom. Aren’t they effective?”
“Usually they are. Not always.”
She walked back to campus, unsure what to do next. She wanted to go to the art building and see if Wyatt was there, but couldn’t think of what she would tell him. His life would be ruined if her fears were true. Over and over, she recalled the details of making love with him six weeks ago. It was one of the only times they had been in a motel room. A fan had turned slowly over the bed. I Dream of Jeannie was playing on television.
They had been so careful. Surely she couldn’t be pregnant.
On the Drag, she sat in a booth at the Rexall and drank a Coke in the air conditioning and waited for Billy to pick her up at the corner.
Later, when she was back in Lockhart, the wait became terrible. She felt nauseated and feverish and tried to tell herself this was only due to her emotions. But every passing day confirmed her anxieties. She
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