Missed Connections by Tan-ni Fan Page A

what? You're not making a tremendous amount of sense."
    Rob took in Jack's scowl and he almost just turned around and walked back down the trail to the campground. They were probably eating down there by now. But he took in a deep breath and started over. "You said it wasn't my fault that you're pissed off at me but I think it probably is. I think I probably did something awful when we were in middle school and you've got some good reason to be pissed off at me still. And I like you a lot but that's not the point. The point is that I'm sorry for what it was and I'd like to know so I could do like Charles and never do it again. But I guess you have a right not to talk to me about it if you don't want to."
    "Oh, for fuck's sake," Jack said, shaking his head. "So now you're convinced you were a juvenile monster and you have some huge crime to atone for? I'm sorry you got that impression, I really am. It's not like that at all. You didn't do anything."
    "There's got to be a reason you're so annoyed all the time."
    "There is. But you didn't do anything."
    "So tell me."
    Jack started walking in the same direction that led them up here. Rob fell in behind.
    "I don't want to tell you," Jack said.
    "I guess you don't have to. But why don't you want to?"
    "Obviously because it makes me look even stupider than you."
    Rob turned that over in his mind for a bit, and then Jack answered himself. "Wait, no, that's not possible. I guess it makes me look as stupid as you."
    "I'm down with that," Rob said. "Leveling the field looks real good to me just now."
    "Okay." But Jack didn't follow up on it for a while, and they just walked on around the brow of the mountain in silence for a while.
    "Okay," Jack said again. "I'm going to assume you don't remember anything about us from forever, because it seems like it's impossible to overestimate your capacity for forgetfulness."
    "Probably," Rob said.
    "It's a fucking miracle you ever passed a test. Do you, like, cheat or something?"
    "No, of course not!" Rob said, horrified. "I study a lot. I never take crap for granted."
    Jack shook his head peevishly. Rob waited for the story, which seemed not to be coming. At least the surroundings were beautiful. Maybe if Rob was lucky, when he finally did get a job in his field, he'd get to spend at least some of his time up here. More likely he'd be checking vacant lots in deserted suburbs for lead levels.
     
    Approaching consensus
    Fortunately, Jack eventually started talking again. "Right. Okay, so we were little kids together. Our moms said we were best friends but I don't think we were. I was really into you but you hardly noticed whether I was there or not. But—"
    "Is that what I did? Ignored you when we were in preschool or something?"
    "Or something. You want to hear this? Don't interrupt."
    "Sorry. I'll try."
    "I sort of exaggerated about you not noticing. But I was running around after you all the time. Sometimes it was because I wanted to play with you and you were so busy doing your own thing that you just didn't give me the space to do it. Other times I was chasing you to tie your shoes or whatever. Then you went through that period where you were getting into fights with older kids for some stupid reason I never understood and I was always rescuing you. So that went on for years. Though it wasn't so much in elementary because you were busy with your actual friends. And then there was middle school and I realized something about myself and I told you."
    "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't know about any of that stuff until later. Really sorry for whatever homophobic crap I came out with. I'd say I never meant it but I don't remember what it was or what I was thinking…"
    "You didn't. No wonder you don't remember stuff, Rob, you don't listen in the first place," Jack snapped. "I said you didn't do anything."
    "Then why—"
    "I told you I was gay, and you said it was cool, and then started playing ping pong with this guy, and I realized in that moment