Miss Mary Is Scary! by Dan Gutman Page B

he was married to Mrs. Klutz, he was married to some other lady in England and they had a baby. So Miss Marygrew up in England and came to America for a year to do her student teaching.
    â€œIsn’t she lovely?” he said.
    â€œYes!” we all lied. Nobody wanted to tell Mr. Klutz that his daughter looked weird.
    â€œWell, I have to go to a meeting,” Mr. Klutz said. “Mary, I’m so glad you decided to become a teacher and help educate the youth of America so they can pursue their hopes and dreams.”
    â€œYeah, whatever,” said Miss Mary.
    â€œI’ll stop back in a little while to see how you’re making out,” Mr. Klutz said before he left.
    Ugh, disgusting! Mr. Klutz said “making out”!
    Mr. Granite had a frowny face. He looked like he didn’t want to have a student teacher.
    â€œSo, Miss Mary,” he said, “what made you decide to become a teacher?”
    â€œWell, it’s like, the kids, y’know,” she said. “They’re so, I don’t know. Kidlike. You know? Yeah, and when you’re a teacher, you get the summer off, right? That’s cool.”
    People from England talk funny. Miss Mary sounded like she should be in a Harry Potter movie.
    â€œYes, I do get the summer off,” Mr. Granite said. “But most people become teachers for other reasons, like…”
    He didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence because suddenly loud music started playing. Everybody looked around to see where it was coming from.
    â€œHang on,” Miss Mary said. “It’s my bloody cell phone.”
    â€œYour cell phone is covered with blood?” I asked.
    â€œI gotta take this,” Mary said. “It’s my boyfriend, Zack.”
    Mr. Granite looked mad. Cell phones aren’t allowed in school. But I guess he couldn’t do anything about it, because Miss Mary is Mr. Klutz’s daughter.
    â€œYo! What up, dude?” Miss Mary said into the phone. “I’m at Daddy’s school….I miss you, too, Zack…. Okay, gotta go…. Later.”
    â€œAre you quite finished?” asked Mr. Granite. “I’d like to do our math lesson.”
    â€œYeah,” Miss Mary said. “Zack is back home in England. He says he’s coming over here even though his parents don’t like me.”
    â€œGee, I wonder why,” Mr. Granite said. “Okay, open your math books to page twenty-three, shall we?”
    We all opened our math books.

    â€œZack is in an awesome band called Fish Food,” Miss Mary said. “They totally rock.”
    â€œMusic is my favorite thing!” said Andrea. “I love the Jonas Brothers.”
    â€œMe too!” said Emily, who loves everything that Andrea loves.
    â€œZack is into heavy metal,” said Miss Mary.
    â€œHe wears a suit of armor?” I asked.
    â€œHeavy metal is a kind of music, dumbhead,” said Andrea, rolling her eyes.
    â€œI knew that,” I lied.
    â€œZack is a genius,” Miss Mary said. “He’ll be famous someday. We want to get married. But Daddy won’t let us. He says Zackcan’t earn a living by playing music.”
    Mr. Granite’s face was all red. He doesn’t like it when we get off task. But it didn’t matter, because that’s when something really weird happened.
    A guy climbed in the window!
    Everybody was freaking out. The guy was dressed all in black, just like Mary.
    â€œZack!” yelled Miss Mary.
    â€œMary!” yelled Zack.
    â€œI thought you called from England!” Miss Mary said.
    â€œNo, I was right around the corner,” said Zack.
    â€œI love you!”
    â€œI love you, too!”

    Ugh. They said the L word! Miss Mary and Zack started smooching. I thought I was gonna throw up.
    â€œIsn’t it romantic?” said Andrea. “Zack and Miss Mary are in love, but their parents won’t let them be together. It’s justlike