cheek burned. Her coarse breathing filled my ears, and I turned back, stunned. “What the hell was that for?” I asked, my voice wavering.
“You’re like everyone else,” she said, pressing her finger against my chest. “I’m trying to help you, and all you do is blow me off like I’m nothing.”
I grabbed her hand, and she tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her. “You aren’t nothing,” I said. “You’re the only one who’s helped me—”
“Yet you gave up on me!” Her face flushed, and she squirmed beneath my grasp. I wasn’t even holding her that hard; she could get away if she wanted to. “I thought I finally had someone I could count on,” she said, dropping her face as she stilled. “You’re not the only one going through a hard time right now, Shoman; you never are. Why can’t you understand that?”
My fingers loosened, but hers spread over my chest. I couldn’t breathe.
“I didn’t even know what I was until I met you,” she said. “You told me I was okay; you helped me realize who I was again—what I was—and now I’m trying to repay you, and you won’t let me.”
Her words pummeled my stomach, and my eyes squeezed shut as I bent my face away. She was right, yet I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t even stand up to her. I had pushed her away, just like everybody else, and she didn’t deserve it. No one had.
“I should go,” she said as her body heat dissipated. She stepped away. “I won’t be back, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
I won’t be back. Her words shuddered through me as she turned to go. Her footsteps along the ground felt like I’d fallen in the river and begun to drown. No. I wasn’t ready to give up yet.
I raced behind her, but she quickened her speed. “Don’t go,” I said, leaping in front of her.
“Why not?” she spat.
“Because you would’ve been gone by now if you really wanted to,” I said, knowing she could transport away and avoid my radar. After all, she’d done it before. “And I don’t want you to,” I added.
Her arms folded across her chest, and she dropped her gaze. “I wasn’t the one ending it,” she said.
“I know.” I laid my hands on her small shoulders and bent down to catch her purple eyes. “And I’m sorry,” I said, knowing she could feel my hands shake. “I really am.”
Her lips quivered. “How do I know you mean it?”
“Trust me.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can anymore, Shoman.”
My chest fell. “Then I’ll earn it again,” I promised.
The words flew out of me in a way they never had before. They were uncontrollable and desperate, yet I didn’t regret them. The emotions had taken over, and I knew why I was thrown off guard. For once, I was speaking the truth.
Her hand raised, and she wiped the tears from her eyes. They sparkled against her white skin. “You have an entire community, Shoman,” she said, unable to speak loudly. “You don’t need me—”
“I do,” I said, and she stared. “I need you more than anything; you’re the only one who’s been here for me.” My throat tightened. “And you’re the only one I’ve wanted to be there for in a long time. I do need you.”
I didn’t care about the elders or the danger they said I was in. I didn’t want to let her go. I couldn’t let her go.
“Please,” I said. “Try to understand that.”
“I do, Shoman,” she said, and her hand touched mine. My heartbeat slowed. “I feel your pain, even when we’re not together; I feel everything you go through.” Her fingertips swayed over my cold skin. “I don’t know why, but I’m always worried about you.” She bit her lip and sighed. “You told me never to lose my concentration—and I haven’t—but it’s nearly impossible not to when I’m around you.”
“But—”
She slapped her hand over my mouth, but she smiled. “I’m not an elder, and I may not be a great shade, but I know you’re capable, and the Dark is ignorant
“You’re like everyone else,” she said, pressing her finger against my chest. “I’m trying to help you, and all you do is blow me off like I’m nothing.”
I grabbed her hand, and she tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her. “You aren’t nothing,” I said. “You’re the only one who’s helped me—”
“Yet you gave up on me!” Her face flushed, and she squirmed beneath my grasp. I wasn’t even holding her that hard; she could get away if she wanted to. “I thought I finally had someone I could count on,” she said, dropping her face as she stilled. “You’re not the only one going through a hard time right now, Shoman; you never are. Why can’t you understand that?”
My fingers loosened, but hers spread over my chest. I couldn’t breathe.
“I didn’t even know what I was until I met you,” she said. “You told me I was okay; you helped me realize who I was again—what I was—and now I’m trying to repay you, and you won’t let me.”
Her words pummeled my stomach, and my eyes squeezed shut as I bent my face away. She was right, yet I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t even stand up to her. I had pushed her away, just like everybody else, and she didn’t deserve it. No one had.
“I should go,” she said as her body heat dissipated. She stepped away. “I won’t be back, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
I won’t be back. Her words shuddered through me as she turned to go. Her footsteps along the ground felt like I’d fallen in the river and begun to drown. No. I wasn’t ready to give up yet.
I raced behind her, but she quickened her speed. “Don’t go,” I said, leaping in front of her.
“Why not?” she spat.
“Because you would’ve been gone by now if you really wanted to,” I said, knowing she could transport away and avoid my radar. After all, she’d done it before. “And I don’t want you to,” I added.
Her arms folded across her chest, and she dropped her gaze. “I wasn’t the one ending it,” she said.
“I know.” I laid my hands on her small shoulders and bent down to catch her purple eyes. “And I’m sorry,” I said, knowing she could feel my hands shake. “I really am.”
Her lips quivered. “How do I know you mean it?”
“Trust me.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I can anymore, Shoman.”
My chest fell. “Then I’ll earn it again,” I promised.
The words flew out of me in a way they never had before. They were uncontrollable and desperate, yet I didn’t regret them. The emotions had taken over, and I knew why I was thrown off guard. For once, I was speaking the truth.
Her hand raised, and she wiped the tears from her eyes. They sparkled against her white skin. “You have an entire community, Shoman,” she said, unable to speak loudly. “You don’t need me—”
“I do,” I said, and she stared. “I need you more than anything; you’re the only one who’s been here for me.” My throat tightened. “And you’re the only one I’ve wanted to be there for in a long time. I do need you.”
I didn’t care about the elders or the danger they said I was in. I didn’t want to let her go. I couldn’t let her go.
“Please,” I said. “Try to understand that.”
“I do, Shoman,” she said, and her hand touched mine. My heartbeat slowed. “I feel your pain, even when we’re not together; I feel everything you go through.” Her fingertips swayed over my cold skin. “I don’t know why, but I’m always worried about you.” She bit her lip and sighed. “You told me never to lose my concentration—and I haven’t—but it’s nearly impossible not to when I’m around you.”
“But—”
She slapped her hand over my mouth, but she smiled. “I’m not an elder, and I may not be a great shade, but I know you’re capable, and the Dark is ignorant
Similar Books
