longer care how you feel. The anxiety loop is
beginning to break here. You have done nothing to keep your
anxiety going. You may still feel symptoms and that’s fine, but there
is a lack of worry and fear to add to the mix. If there was an anxiety
shop and someone came in and said “I have anxiety mate, not sure
why but it has been there for a few years now, how come?” I would
say
“Do you worry about it?”
“Well yes, I do, I want it to go away”
“Do you go towards or try to avoid these feelings?”
“Well, I mainly avoid them as I don’t want to feel them’
“Do you try and figure a way out of this or just get on with your day?”
“Well, I try and figure a way out. It’s tiring and I do go around in
circles, but I have to get rid of these feelings don’t I?”
“Have you ever thought about allowing yourself to feel like this, good
or bad? This will stop the worry cycle, the tuning in, the fighting
to ’rid’ yourself. In fact it will break this loop you are stuck in”.
“Actually no, I have never thought of doing that”
‘Well you should as this is why it’s been around for a few years. You
have been stuck in a loop of trying not to feel this way”.
This is the day a light went on for me. I had tried so hard to get rid of
the way I felt and worried about it and the only result was I felt
worse. Why didn’t I just give up and allow myself to feel this way. I
needed to do what someone who did not suffer from anxiety would
do. The average guy in the street is not going around worrying all
day; if he did he would feel awful and drained. No wonder I felt the
way I did and seemed to be getting worse, not better. My body was
just not having the chance to recover.
Never have the attitude “I am not going out, I feel awful. What I need
to do is get rid of these feelings then I will have my life back” The
only way to have that life back is to totally embrace how you feel and
feel every symptom at will. I felt awful for weeks during my own
recovery, but for once I had broken the loop. Don’t misunderstand
me, I had some testing days. I remember going out to a quiz each
- 71 -
week and sitting there feeling dreadful and just wanting to go home.
I would feel apprehensive at times and almost give in to the
temptation, but I never did. I knew this was anxiety testing me. The
KEY point for me at these times was the point where I wanted to go
home. It was at that stage that I just bought another drink and
stayed. Anxiety had lost my respect. I had said: “Do what you want, I
no longer care; I am in charge from now on”. As time went by I
actually loved it when I was tested. It was a case of “yes we have
been here before and I always win. I am staying, so do whatever
you want”.
Prior to this, as soon as I was feeling uncomfortable I would go
home, feel sorry for myself and mentally try to find a way out of this
hell, when, ironically, I had just left the very place that would have
helped me to move forward. Instead I had given my feelings loads of
respect, run away from how I felt and anxiety had won again. I knew
that if I wanted to get through this I had to learn not to care if I felt
anxious or not and this is the point I finally reached. By not avoiding
and running away, I had unmasked it as just a feeling. My body no
longer felt apprehensive about going anywhere and my nerves had
settled as I had not bombarded them with worry and self pity. Freed
from the daily onslaught it used to receive, my mind had begun to
clear and my confidence had returned. I had proved I could do
anything and that I was in charge and not my anxiety. I was
beginning to take charge again and the old me was returning. By
living like the average man in the street, I was becoming like the
average man in the street. I was getting my life back.
Paul
I do try to include my own real life situations in the hope that it will
help people to understand a little more,
beginning to break here. You have done nothing to keep your
anxiety going. You may still feel symptoms and that’s fine, but there
is a lack of worry and fear to add to the mix. If there was an anxiety
shop and someone came in and said “I have anxiety mate, not sure
why but it has been there for a few years now, how come?” I would
say
“Do you worry about it?”
“Well yes, I do, I want it to go away”
“Do you go towards or try to avoid these feelings?”
“Well, I mainly avoid them as I don’t want to feel them’
“Do you try and figure a way out of this or just get on with your day?”
“Well, I try and figure a way out. It’s tiring and I do go around in
circles, but I have to get rid of these feelings don’t I?”
“Have you ever thought about allowing yourself to feel like this, good
or bad? This will stop the worry cycle, the tuning in, the fighting
to ’rid’ yourself. In fact it will break this loop you are stuck in”.
“Actually no, I have never thought of doing that”
‘Well you should as this is why it’s been around for a few years. You
have been stuck in a loop of trying not to feel this way”.
This is the day a light went on for me. I had tried so hard to get rid of
the way I felt and worried about it and the only result was I felt
worse. Why didn’t I just give up and allow myself to feel this way. I
needed to do what someone who did not suffer from anxiety would
do. The average guy in the street is not going around worrying all
day; if he did he would feel awful and drained. No wonder I felt the
way I did and seemed to be getting worse, not better. My body was
just not having the chance to recover.
Never have the attitude “I am not going out, I feel awful. What I need
to do is get rid of these feelings then I will have my life back” The
only way to have that life back is to totally embrace how you feel and
feel every symptom at will. I felt awful for weeks during my own
recovery, but for once I had broken the loop. Don’t misunderstand
me, I had some testing days. I remember going out to a quiz each
- 71 -
week and sitting there feeling dreadful and just wanting to go home.
I would feel apprehensive at times and almost give in to the
temptation, but I never did. I knew this was anxiety testing me. The
KEY point for me at these times was the point where I wanted to go
home. It was at that stage that I just bought another drink and
stayed. Anxiety had lost my respect. I had said: “Do what you want, I
no longer care; I am in charge from now on”. As time went by I
actually loved it when I was tested. It was a case of “yes we have
been here before and I always win. I am staying, so do whatever
you want”.
Prior to this, as soon as I was feeling uncomfortable I would go
home, feel sorry for myself and mentally try to find a way out of this
hell, when, ironically, I had just left the very place that would have
helped me to move forward. Instead I had given my feelings loads of
respect, run away from how I felt and anxiety had won again. I knew
that if I wanted to get through this I had to learn not to care if I felt
anxious or not and this is the point I finally reached. By not avoiding
and running away, I had unmasked it as just a feeling. My body no
longer felt apprehensive about going anywhere and my nerves had
settled as I had not bombarded them with worry and self pity. Freed
from the daily onslaught it used to receive, my mind had begun to
clear and my confidence had returned. I had proved I could do
anything and that I was in charge and not my anxiety. I was
beginning to take charge again and the old me was returning. By
living like the average man in the street, I was becoming like the
average man in the street. I was getting my life back.
Paul
I do try to include my own real life situations in the hope that it will
help people to understand a little more,
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