sins—yes, he was well armed.
“Amen,” said Mrs. Jim Bob.
• • •
Ruby Bee was in a tizzy. Not only had the guests with motel reservations shown up, but all kinds of other folks in town for the golf tournament were clamoring for lunch, along with the regulars and a few truckers. Some were happy with the blue plate special (fried catfish, hush puppies, green tomato relish, beans, and slaw); others demanded salads with dressing on the side or dainty sandwiches on silly-sounding bread. The jukebox was blaring, and everybody was yelling at her like they thought she was deaf as a post. It was worse than the county fair midway on a Saturday night.
She went on into the kitchen to start a batch of hamburger patties.
She was too busy breading catfish fillets to notice the black 1966 Imperial Crown Coupe glide by as the stoplight turned green.
Five
A couple of dozen golfers milled around under the tent. A decrepit barn, long since weathered into gray, tilted ominously. Rolls of chicken wire and rusty car parts were scattered in the mud.
The nearby sty produced an acrid stench. Many of the ladies held tissues to their noses and rumbled with displeasure. Expressions ranged from shocked to appalled.
Tommy Ridner found Dennis and Amanda. “You been out on the course yet?” he asked as he joined them. Emanating lethal radiation waves, Amanda turned her back on him and walked away.
“Trying to get up my courage,” Dennis said. “Somebody reported spotting a rogue sow, if there is such a thing. Others swear they saw copperheads in the rough and water moccasins in the ponds.”
Tommy handed him a flask. “C’mon, let’s play a round. I want to know if I should be using a wood or a wedge off the tees.”
“I’m not in the mood to step on a snake.”
“The real reason is that you’re terrified of Amanda, aren’t you?” He retrieved the flask and took a swallow. “Don’t be a wuss, Dennis. Just go tell her you’re going to play. She can go hide out in that crappy motel and read her magazines. That’s assuming she doesn’t want to hang around”—he glanced at the barn—
“the club house and have martinis.”
“Why would I be terrified of Amanda? She’s devoted to me, in case you haven’t noticed. You’ve been trying to get her into bed since you were my best man. I admire your perseverance, but one of these days you’ll have to admit defeat.” He put his arm around Tommy’s shoulders and grinned at him. “As they say, two’s company and three’s a crowd. But we’ll always be friends, right?”
“I’m surprised she’s letting you play at all. She seemed like she was really pissed off the other day.”
“Just a little spat when I got home,” Dennis said lightly. “She loves to come to tournaments with me, since we have the evenings to dine, dance, and enjoy ourselves in a romantic suite. The facilities here are substandard, to put it kindly. The only way I could placate her was to promise to use my winnings from the bet to take her on a Mediterranean cruise.”
“You’re not taking this bet seriously, are you?” Tommy said. “It was the booze talking. The bass boat’s the real prize.”
Dennis was offended by the idea that a boat was more valuable than his wife’s amorous company. “We made the bet, Tommy, and you’re not backing out of it. Amanda wants to sunbathe on a Greek island.” He gestured at the rutted pasture. “In case you haven’t noticed, this is the course. The fairways are the stubby weeds, the rough is the waist-high weeds. The greens are probably covered with dandelions. You can walk across the algae and scum in the ponds, if the alligators don’t drag you under.”
“It’ll be a challenge,” Tommy admitted. He pulled off his baseball cap and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.
“Hey, there’s Natalie and her boot camp lesbian. Let’s get up a foursome. I’ll take Janna as a partner and you can have the princess. Match play, twenty bucks
“Amen,” said Mrs. Jim Bob.
• • •
Ruby Bee was in a tizzy. Not only had the guests with motel reservations shown up, but all kinds of other folks in town for the golf tournament were clamoring for lunch, along with the regulars and a few truckers. Some were happy with the blue plate special (fried catfish, hush puppies, green tomato relish, beans, and slaw); others demanded salads with dressing on the side or dainty sandwiches on silly-sounding bread. The jukebox was blaring, and everybody was yelling at her like they thought she was deaf as a post. It was worse than the county fair midway on a Saturday night.
She went on into the kitchen to start a batch of hamburger patties.
She was too busy breading catfish fillets to notice the black 1966 Imperial Crown Coupe glide by as the stoplight turned green.
Five
A couple of dozen golfers milled around under the tent. A decrepit barn, long since weathered into gray, tilted ominously. Rolls of chicken wire and rusty car parts were scattered in the mud.
The nearby sty produced an acrid stench. Many of the ladies held tissues to their noses and rumbled with displeasure. Expressions ranged from shocked to appalled.
Tommy Ridner found Dennis and Amanda. “You been out on the course yet?” he asked as he joined them. Emanating lethal radiation waves, Amanda turned her back on him and walked away.
“Trying to get up my courage,” Dennis said. “Somebody reported spotting a rogue sow, if there is such a thing. Others swear they saw copperheads in the rough and water moccasins in the ponds.”
Tommy handed him a flask. “C’mon, let’s play a round. I want to know if I should be using a wood or a wedge off the tees.”
“I’m not in the mood to step on a snake.”
“The real reason is that you’re terrified of Amanda, aren’t you?” He retrieved the flask and took a swallow. “Don’t be a wuss, Dennis. Just go tell her you’re going to play. She can go hide out in that crappy motel and read her magazines. That’s assuming she doesn’t want to hang around”—he glanced at the barn—
“the club house and have martinis.”
“Why would I be terrified of Amanda? She’s devoted to me, in case you haven’t noticed. You’ve been trying to get her into bed since you were my best man. I admire your perseverance, but one of these days you’ll have to admit defeat.” He put his arm around Tommy’s shoulders and grinned at him. “As they say, two’s company and three’s a crowd. But we’ll always be friends, right?”
“I’m surprised she’s letting you play at all. She seemed like she was really pissed off the other day.”
“Just a little spat when I got home,” Dennis said lightly. “She loves to come to tournaments with me, since we have the evenings to dine, dance, and enjoy ourselves in a romantic suite. The facilities here are substandard, to put it kindly. The only way I could placate her was to promise to use my winnings from the bet to take her on a Mediterranean cruise.”
“You’re not taking this bet seriously, are you?” Tommy said. “It was the booze talking. The bass boat’s the real prize.”
Dennis was offended by the idea that a boat was more valuable than his wife’s amorous company. “We made the bet, Tommy, and you’re not backing out of it. Amanda wants to sunbathe on a Greek island.” He gestured at the rutted pasture. “In case you haven’t noticed, this is the course. The fairways are the stubby weeds, the rough is the waist-high weeds. The greens are probably covered with dandelions. You can walk across the algae and scum in the ponds, if the alligators don’t drag you under.”
“It’ll be a challenge,” Tommy admitted. He pulled off his baseball cap and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.
“Hey, there’s Natalie and her boot camp lesbian. Let’s get up a foursome. I’ll take Janna as a partner and you can have the princess. Match play, twenty bucks
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