Me and My Shadow by Katie MacAlister Page A

with. Can you believe that? I’ll feed his testicles to a shark—see if I don’t!”
    He ignored Cyrene, pausing just long enough to give me a haughty look. “I am Magoth, sixth principle spirit of Abaddon—”
    â€œFormer principle spirit of Abaddon,” Jim said.
    Magoth ignored the demon, too.
    â€œâ€”lord of thirty legions—”
    â€œNow in the charge of Bael, or whoever he’s found to replace you,” Jim interrupted.
    Cyrene whapped Magoth on his bare chest. “I am so not a problem person. I’m a naiad! We are the most pleasant of all the elemental beings! There’s nothing about me with which he needs to deal, except my vengeance, which shall be as deep as the ocean and as dark as the . . . er . . . the ocean. In the bottom parts, that is, where it really is very dark.”
    â€œMarquis of the order of dominations!” Magoth bellowed, no doubt in order to be heard over the chorus of Jim and Cyrene, but the smidgen of power he still possessed gave his words an unexpected volume. His voice echoed for a few seconds, the harsh sound of birds screeching their objection to the noise slowly dying out.
    We all looked at Magoth.
    â€œI have no need of such things as clothes,” he said, dismissing such mortal concerns with great dignity, turning on his heel to stalk back toward town.
    â€œYou wanna be the one to tell him he’s got a big ole slug stuck to one of his butt cheeks?” Jim asked.
    Magoth’s shoulder twitched at the demon’s question, but he didn’t stop. He just kept walking.

Chapter Five
    â€œYou could think the arrival of a naked, dirty, ex-demon lord would merit at least a few raised eyebrows,” Savian said as I collapsed into a chair. “But no one seems to care.”
    â€œIt’s probably more they don’t know what to think than they don’t care,” I said.
    â€œThat or they’re just too horrified at the sight of a penis curse to take more than a quick peek.” Savian glanced around the faux-medieval basement bar of the hotel at which we had taken rooms. At this hour of the day, it was empty of customers, a few morsels of gray light bullying their way in through thick, waved glass panes strapped with militant precision in what was no doubt supposed to be a design reminiscent of the court of Elizabeth I of England.
    â€œAre you impugning my cock?” Magoth asked, his hands on his hips.
    Savian looked startled for a moment. “I am not doing anything to your dick, let alone impugning it, although . . .” His gaze dropped to the member in question. “If the curse fits, wear it.”
    Magoth’s eyes narrowed as he gestured proudly to his genitals. “This is a magnificent specimen of its kind! It is beyond magnificent—it is the epitome of cockhood. It can do things yours can only dream of! It is, in fact, a god amongst penises!”
    â€œOh, it wasn’t that good,” Cyrene snorted, rolling her eyes at Jim.
    Jim clearly had many comments to make about that, but bound to silence, it could only raise its eyebrows and give Magoth’s penis a long, considering look.
    â€œMagoth, please, keep your voice down,” I said.
    â€œHe,” Magoth spat, pointing at Savian, “disparaged this most resplendent of cocks. I demand that you as my consort defend its honor. Change back into dragon form and roast him alive.” He paused, a thought having occurred to him. “And then you can wrap your tail around me and—”
    â€œNo one is disparaging anything, least of all your genitals,” I said quickly before he dwelled on the strange ways he got his jollies. “Calm down and take a seat before someone notices you.”
    He snorted, casting unimpressed glances around him. “I have to piss. I assume you will not let me hear the end of it if I do it here. I will take my commanding and august cock to the bathroom, where it will no