Maxie (Triple X) by Kimberly Dean Page B

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    The puddle.
    Her thumb missed the button. On the second try, she slowed the video to normal speed. There she was, Little Maxie, her eyes big and excited when she saw the standing water. Maxie watched, her throat tightening as the younger version of herself took off running like she’d done tonight. Another push of a button slowed the video to half speed. Her eyes began blinking fast as Little Maxie rushed towards the puddle in slow motion, only to stop at the last possible moment. The young girl’s face was poignant when she looked into the camera.
    Maxie pushed the pause button and stared back at the sad, vulnerable expression on her own face. She recognized that emotion now. That little girl had wanted something very badly, and the grownup version of her was only now remembering what it was.
    “I was looking for them .”
     
    The quiver in Maxie’s voice pushed Zac off the bed. All day long, she’d been pushed to the limit, yet she hadn’t cried. Until now. The threat of tears cut him to the quick.
    She didn’t seem to notice him when he sat beside her, close enough that their hips bumped and their arms touched from shoulder to elbow. He took the remote out of her hands. Looking at the video, he tried to understand.
    Only she wasn’t saying anything more. She stared at the screen with her breath coming short in her throat.
    He pushed the rewind button and watched the whole thing again. The adorable little girl seemed so excited at first. She’d rushed that puddle like she intended to make the biggest splash ever, but she stopped at the edge, her entire body leaning forward even as something held her back. The need in her eyes was heartrending as she searched the crowd.
    Why had she stopped? Her parents were holding the camera and encouraging her to go on, but the little girl seemed uncertain and timid.
    “Who were you looking for?” he asked.
    Her eyes were wet. “Lexie and Roxie. My sisters. ”
    This time when her voice broke, she broke with it. Her shoulders shook, and her head bowed. “I kept asking my parents for sisters, but I didn’t want new ones. I wanted the ones I already had.”
    He understood then what her toddler’s mind had forgotten. Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her close. She resisted at first, but then pressed her cheek against his chest. The dampness of her tears against his skin was like a knife to his gut.
    He shut down the video and the TV. She wasn’t a loud crier, but that didn’t make it any easier. The tension in her body showed the misery she was in. She might have forgotten what had happened, but the pain she was feeling now was as sharp as it had to have been then.
    For that, he wanted to pound somebody’s head in. Who did something so cruel? Separated sisters who were so intricately intertwined? Rage bubbled up inside him, wanting to lash out at whoever was responsible, but he knew that wouldn’t help her. Not right now.
    He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Well, you’ve found them now, haven’t you?”
    She took a shuddering breath, but nodded. Her cheek felt like silk as it rubbed against his chest, right over his heart.
    He wondered if she could hear it pounding.
    Wrapping his arms around her, he got his feet underneath him and stood. He carried her to the bed and pushed her damp hair back from her face.
    “I don’t know if I’m supposed to be happy or sad,” she said, her voice raw.
    “Be whatever you want to be.”
    “I feel guilty for wanting them when I had such a wonderful family…second family.”
    He grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and dried her cheeks. She blew her nose before clenching her hand into a fist.
    “And I hate that I have to think of my parents that way now—as my second parents.” She tossed the tissue across the room. It bounced off the wall and landed in the wastebasket, but she didn’t notice the perfect shot. “I’ve made such a mess of everything,” she whispered. “And I’ve pulled you into