present sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach caused her to toss and turn all night. She’d never felt more nervous. It didn’t help that her mind kept replaying the night before over and over again like a bad pop song. She just wished that she could pinpoint when and where things went wrong. She and State hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk, so she couldn’t have been getting on his nerves. Maybe it was Tee-Tee and Bernard. Maybe they were too over the top for his taste. It was no secret that State only tolerated them for Dylan’s sake. She knew he didn’t agree with homosexuality.
Better yet, was it all too much too soon for him? Committing to Dylan had always been their biggest problem. If that was the case, she would have to let him go, because this time she wasn’t looking for a casual affair. She wanted a relationship that was based on truth, not lies. Dylan wasn’t the silly little naïve girl she used to be.
She knew State had a lot of girls on his dick. She knew that he would one day get too comfortable and want something new. The trait was in his blood. Every man before him and since him had done her the same way. Dylan had always been able to get a man, but never keep a man. Maybe it was because on the inside she felt that love wasn’t in her reach. The basic principle of love started with family, but Dylan never had that need fulfilled. Her own mother didn’t love her, so how could a man with no real obligation fulfill that void? She just hated that like before, she’d let down her guard and gave in to empty promises.
Suddenly, a thought came to her mind. State didn’t start acting weird until he received that text message. Hell naw, Dylan thought, rising out of her sleep.
“That niggah got a text message from another chick and left my ass. I wonder, was it that one chick? I bet it was . . . muthafucka. That got to be it because if it was just business, he would’ve said so. I swear to God, if that big-head muthafucka played me to the left for another bitch—”
The phone interrupted her conversation with herself. Dylan wondered who it could be. It was eight o’clock in the morning. The only people who called her that early were bill collectors, who she hated. At one point, she was a valued customer, but now all they did was send her hate mail.
Picking up the phone, she checked the caller ID and saw State’s name glaring back at her. Every fiber in her being, every beat of her heart wanted to say fuck him, but the big part of her that loved him needed to know point blank what his excuse was so she could somehow feel better.
Before she answered, Dylan decided to play him like he’d played her and not answer his calls. Instead, she pressed ignore and sent his ass to voice mail. State, being the persistent man he was, continued to call back, even though he was fully aware he was being forwarded to voice mail. Ten unanswered phone calls and two voice mail messages later, Dylan felt inclined to finally pick up the phone.
“Hello?” she said with an obvious attitude.
“Are you conscious? What the fuck is on yo’ mind?” State barked.
“What do you want, State?” Dylan replied dryly, unfazed.
“Why you ain’t answering the phone?”
“Same reason you didn’t last night.”
“Really? That’s how you feel?”
Dylan held the phone and didn’t respond.
“My bad about last night. I got caught up.”
“I just bet you did,” she mocked.
“Straight up.” He turned the wheel on his car and pulled away from the curb. “What you got going on today? You wanna go have breakfast or something? We need to talk.”
“And the sad part is you’re serious.” Dylan laughed, amazed. “I’ma call you back.” She hung up before he could reply. “He got me fucked up if he think he gon’ call me and say my bad and that be it.”
She snatched the covers off of her and stood up as State tried calling back again. Dylan stepped out into the hallway and noticed her mother coming
Better yet, was it all too much too soon for him? Committing to Dylan had always been their biggest problem. If that was the case, she would have to let him go, because this time she wasn’t looking for a casual affair. She wanted a relationship that was based on truth, not lies. Dylan wasn’t the silly little naïve girl she used to be.
She knew State had a lot of girls on his dick. She knew that he would one day get too comfortable and want something new. The trait was in his blood. Every man before him and since him had done her the same way. Dylan had always been able to get a man, but never keep a man. Maybe it was because on the inside she felt that love wasn’t in her reach. The basic principle of love started with family, but Dylan never had that need fulfilled. Her own mother didn’t love her, so how could a man with no real obligation fulfill that void? She just hated that like before, she’d let down her guard and gave in to empty promises.
Suddenly, a thought came to her mind. State didn’t start acting weird until he received that text message. Hell naw, Dylan thought, rising out of her sleep.
“That niggah got a text message from another chick and left my ass. I wonder, was it that one chick? I bet it was . . . muthafucka. That got to be it because if it was just business, he would’ve said so. I swear to God, if that big-head muthafucka played me to the left for another bitch—”
The phone interrupted her conversation with herself. Dylan wondered who it could be. It was eight o’clock in the morning. The only people who called her that early were bill collectors, who she hated. At one point, she was a valued customer, but now all they did was send her hate mail.
Picking up the phone, she checked the caller ID and saw State’s name glaring back at her. Every fiber in her being, every beat of her heart wanted to say fuck him, but the big part of her that loved him needed to know point blank what his excuse was so she could somehow feel better.
Before she answered, Dylan decided to play him like he’d played her and not answer his calls. Instead, she pressed ignore and sent his ass to voice mail. State, being the persistent man he was, continued to call back, even though he was fully aware he was being forwarded to voice mail. Ten unanswered phone calls and two voice mail messages later, Dylan felt inclined to finally pick up the phone.
“Hello?” she said with an obvious attitude.
“Are you conscious? What the fuck is on yo’ mind?” State barked.
“What do you want, State?” Dylan replied dryly, unfazed.
“Why you ain’t answering the phone?”
“Same reason you didn’t last night.”
“Really? That’s how you feel?”
Dylan held the phone and didn’t respond.
“My bad about last night. I got caught up.”
“I just bet you did,” she mocked.
“Straight up.” He turned the wheel on his car and pulled away from the curb. “What you got going on today? You wanna go have breakfast or something? We need to talk.”
“And the sad part is you’re serious.” Dylan laughed, amazed. “I’ma call you back.” She hung up before he could reply. “He got me fucked up if he think he gon’ call me and say my bad and that be it.”
She snatched the covers off of her and stood up as State tried calling back again. Dylan stepped out into the hallway and noticed her mother coming
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