Manpot's Tales of the Tropics by Malcolm Boyes Page B

gate...he back out.”
    Big Red’s watching this from behind the barrier and
he's getting madder and madder (maybe that’s where the "Red" part
comes in).
    “Now Big Red’s real mad,” says Darkie,” he grabs a
two by four ("faaar"), he jumps over the barrier and runs onto the
track as his haarse back out again. Just then the startin' gates
open and de race is on"
    "Big Red wind up with that two by four and whack his
haarse hard on the ass ("aaas").
    ‘On your feet’, screamed Big Red at the poor haarse.
That haarse take off down the track...runs past all the other
haarses and win the damn race!!”
    There’s got to be some moral to this tale but, to me,
it just reminds me how wonderful, and whimsical, the islands can
be.
    By the way now, whenever I see Darkie, he just leans
out of his Mitsubishi and yells “On your feet” before bursting into
gales of laughter.
    As for Big Red the Gangster, last I heard he was
sleeping under a palm tree somewhere near East End….and one race
"haarse" knows never to back out the starting gate again.
    As for me, I'm just happy to answer to 'Manpot' and
join the cast of colourful characters in the Caribbean with crazy
names.

WACKO JACKO, THE ODDFATHER AND…
    I guess working in Hollywood prepared me for the
truly colourful, sometimes crazy but always amusing characters I've
been so lucky to meet over the years in the Caribbean. I mean after
spending ninety minutes in a private meeting with Michael Jackson
and Marlon Brando in the VIP room of "The Record Plant" recording
studio in Hollywood, just about anything else would seem
normal.
    So how does a former tabloid journalist who's
relentlessly reported on the exploits and dire scandals involving
both these show business superstars end up in a one on one with
them???
    Well it started through a truly sleazy contact in the
"adult" movie world who ingratiated himself to Michael and suddenly
found he was part of Michael's inner circle. Seems the late gloved
one ain't too smart when it comes to checking out who he allows
into that "inner circle".
    I'm a prime example of that.
    Well this "gentleman" told Michael he was a
"producer", but failed to mention his specialty was young men
engaged in...well you get the picture. It was at this time that
Michael's friendship with Marlon Brando flourished.
    Marlon's son Miko had been a longtime bodyguard of
Michael's. Next thing you know, Wacko Jacko and The Oddfather are
best buds and Michael's saying he wants to shoot a documentary
about Marlon. Of course he turns to his in-house "producer" for
ideas. The man whose idea of plotline and dialogue is grunts and a
few four letter words was stymied. There was no way he could come
up with just what Michael needed and that could bust him.
    He called me.
    Now when a gay porn producer tells you he wants to
involve you in a show about Marlon Brando with Michael Jackson, you
have one reaction.
    "You're full of shit," I told him.
    Next day I left for London.
    A few days later I was having dinner at my sister's
house outside England's capital city when the phone rang.
    "It's for you," said my sister. On the line from
Miami, Florida was our "producer".
    "Michael wants to talk to you about the Marlon
project," he said.
    Before I could utter "Yeah, right" there was the
unmistakable voice of the man who changed the face of music with
"Billy Jean" and the moonwalk at Motown 25.
    We sat in the second row that night and it's an event
I'll never forget.
    Now here was Michael Jackson on the phone…with me…at
my sister's house in England.
    Bizarre.
    Michael hardly let me get a word in as he explained
what a genius Marlon was and how his talent should forever be
caught on tape. I suggested we shoot on location on Marlon's
private island in the South Pacific and then I got bolder.
    "Maybe you could teach Marlon to moonwalk," I
said.
    Michael giggled.
    "Maybe Marlon could teach you to talk like the
Godfather," I said.
    Michael giggled.
    All this time my sister, Marian,