like the biggest sucker of all time.
Batty had his own reasons for being fanatical about the rights of men. In his past there was an international marriage, twin daughters and a messy divorce. I knew that he never saw his daughters. But for some reason I imagined that he could make it all work out differently for me.
‘My wife can’t do this, can she? She can’t just take my son to live in another country. I mean – can she?’
‘Is the residential parent preventing contact?’
‘Speak English, Nigel, will you?’
He sighed.
‘If this move takes place, will your ex-wife stop you from seeing your child?’
‘It’s the Atlantic Ocean that will stop me seeing my son.’
‘But your ex-wife is not intending to deny you access to your child?’
‘She’s denying me access by moving to another country.’
‘I see.’
‘Look – what can we do? How can we stop her? I don’t care what it takes, Nigel. I don’t care what you have to say or do. It’s all fine.’
‘I hate to say I told you so. But you were the one who wanted to play by Marquess of Queensberry rules.’
‘Bottom line, Nigel – can she just take my boy out of the country?’
‘Bottom line? Not without your consent.’
‘My consent?’
He nodded. ‘If she takes your son out of the country without your consent, then she is doing something very naughty.’ He smiled nastily. ‘We call it abduction.’
‘She needs my okay?’
‘Exactly.’
‘But that’s great news! Isn’t it? That’s terrific news, Nigel. And what can she do if I don’t give my consent?’
‘She would have to make an application to court for leave to remove the child permanently from jurisdiction.’
‘So just by withholding consent, I can’t be sure I’d stop her?’
‘If you wanted to deny consent, and she wanted to fight, then the court would decide. That’s what it comes down to. Would it be difficult for you to visit your child if the move went ahead?’
‘Well, it’s Connecticut. I can’t nip round on a Sunday afternoon, can I?’
‘No, but her side would no doubt argue that there are plenty of cheap flights from London to the East Coast. And you’re in gainful employment, as I recall.’ He glanced at his notes. ‘Television producer. Of course. That must be interesting. Anything that I might have seen?’
‘I started out on The Marty Mann Show . Now I do Fish on Friday.’
‘Ah, excellent. Why do Kilcarney girls close their eyes during sex?’ Little Woody Allen cough. He did it very well. ‘Because they hate to see a man enjoying himself . Most amusing.’
Which reminded me that Barry Twist, the show’s commissioning editor, had been leaving messages for me to call him all week. The station was suddenly worried about Eamon just as I had other things to worry about. But for the first time it really dawned on me what Marty meant about not keeping all your eggs in one chicken. If Eamon went down, I would go with him.
‘If this move to America goes ahead, is your ex-wife denying you reasonable access?’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Would you ever see your son again?’
‘Well, she says I could come over. And see him in the holidays. Or he could come back here. But it’s not the same, is it? It’s not the same as being in London together. It’s not the same as having a life together.’ I shook my head. ‘I can feel him…slipping away.’
‘I know the feeling.’
‘I don’t know how we can explain it to him. Moving to America, I mean.’
‘Oh, you can sell a seven-year-old anything. The question is – why should you? Listen, Mr Silver. We can make her seek permission to take the child out of the country. Convince the court that your child would be at risk in some way if the move goes ahead. Letting it go to court would be time-consuming, traumatic and expensive though. I have to warn you – it would also be unpredictable.’
I made an effort not to look at the photograph of two smiling small girls on his desk.
Batty had his own reasons for being fanatical about the rights of men. In his past there was an international marriage, twin daughters and a messy divorce. I knew that he never saw his daughters. But for some reason I imagined that he could make it all work out differently for me.
‘My wife can’t do this, can she? She can’t just take my son to live in another country. I mean – can she?’
‘Is the residential parent preventing contact?’
‘Speak English, Nigel, will you?’
He sighed.
‘If this move takes place, will your ex-wife stop you from seeing your child?’
‘It’s the Atlantic Ocean that will stop me seeing my son.’
‘But your ex-wife is not intending to deny you access to your child?’
‘She’s denying me access by moving to another country.’
‘I see.’
‘Look – what can we do? How can we stop her? I don’t care what it takes, Nigel. I don’t care what you have to say or do. It’s all fine.’
‘I hate to say I told you so. But you were the one who wanted to play by Marquess of Queensberry rules.’
‘Bottom line, Nigel – can she just take my boy out of the country?’
‘Bottom line? Not without your consent.’
‘My consent?’
He nodded. ‘If she takes your son out of the country without your consent, then she is doing something very naughty.’ He smiled nastily. ‘We call it abduction.’
‘She needs my okay?’
‘Exactly.’
‘But that’s great news! Isn’t it? That’s terrific news, Nigel. And what can she do if I don’t give my consent?’
‘She would have to make an application to court for leave to remove the child permanently from jurisdiction.’
‘So just by withholding consent, I can’t be sure I’d stop her?’
‘If you wanted to deny consent, and she wanted to fight, then the court would decide. That’s what it comes down to. Would it be difficult for you to visit your child if the move went ahead?’
‘Well, it’s Connecticut. I can’t nip round on a Sunday afternoon, can I?’
‘No, but her side would no doubt argue that there are plenty of cheap flights from London to the East Coast. And you’re in gainful employment, as I recall.’ He glanced at his notes. ‘Television producer. Of course. That must be interesting. Anything that I might have seen?’
‘I started out on The Marty Mann Show . Now I do Fish on Friday.’
‘Ah, excellent. Why do Kilcarney girls close their eyes during sex?’ Little Woody Allen cough. He did it very well. ‘Because they hate to see a man enjoying himself . Most amusing.’
Which reminded me that Barry Twist, the show’s commissioning editor, had been leaving messages for me to call him all week. The station was suddenly worried about Eamon just as I had other things to worry about. But for the first time it really dawned on me what Marty meant about not keeping all your eggs in one chicken. If Eamon went down, I would go with him.
‘If this move to America goes ahead, is your ex-wife denying you reasonable access?’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Would you ever see your son again?’
‘Well, she says I could come over. And see him in the holidays. Or he could come back here. But it’s not the same, is it? It’s not the same as being in London together. It’s not the same as having a life together.’ I shook my head. ‘I can feel him…slipping away.’
‘I know the feeling.’
‘I don’t know how we can explain it to him. Moving to America, I mean.’
‘Oh, you can sell a seven-year-old anything. The question is – why should you? Listen, Mr Silver. We can make her seek permission to take the child out of the country. Convince the court that your child would be at risk in some way if the move goes ahead. Letting it go to court would be time-consuming, traumatic and expensive though. I have to warn you – it would also be unpredictable.’
I made an effort not to look at the photograph of two smiling small girls on his desk.
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