bathroom, I rustled up some cotton balls and alcohol. I stepped over the doggie gate to get ice and a clean dishtowel from the kitchen. Teensy, scarfing his supper, barely noticed.
When I returned bearing my Nancy Nurse supplies, Carlos looked embarrassed and pleased at the same time. There is not a man alive who doesn’t like being fussed over—no matter how muy macho he is, or how hardened from a career of chasing scary criminals. If I’d learned nothing else from Mama’s lessons about womanly wiles, I had at least learned that.
Plus, I liked to be in charge in a medical emergency, so it was win-win for me.
I swabbed the wound—more of a scratch, really. “Does that sting?’’
“Not too bad.’’
I put my mouth close and blew on his thumb, just like Mama used to do for us when we were children.
“That tickles,’’ Carlos said.
“If you’re a good boy, maybe Mace will give you a lick off her lollipop.’’ Sal leered at us from his recliner.
“That sounds pretty good.’’ Carlos smiled suggestively. “There’s nothing like a sweet, juicy lollipop. I like the cherry ones best.’’
Marty laughed. I’m pretty sure I blushed.
“Has every couple in this family regressed to acting like hormonal teenagers?’’ Maddie said. “Get a room, you two.’’
“Don’t be such a sourpuss, Maddie,’’ Mama said. “You’re really off your oats, girl. Your ‘monthly visitor’ still giving you trouble?’’
Sal cleared his throat. Carlos got interested in reading the label of his Budweiser bottle. “Have you gone crazy?’’ Maddie stared at Mama.
Before Maddie inadvertently revealed I’d lied with that cover story about menstrual troubles, I said, “Nope, Mama’s not crazy. Just a little inappropriate, due to all that pink wine she’s consumed . Let’s talk about something else, why don’t we?’’
“Fine with me,’’ Mama said. “Let’s see if we can figure out what Maddie should wear to Kenny’s party. I’m still opposed to that yellow dress, honey.’’ She took a magazine off the coffee table and started leafing through the sticky-noted pages. “Now, I’ve marked pictures of dresses in shades that would be much more flattering with your complexion.’’
Sal heaved himself to his feet. “Fashion? That’s my cue to go to the den and catch some sports on TV.’’ Carlos wasted no time following the big man’s lead.
As soon as they were gone, Maddie exploded: “The yellow dress is fine. I have no damned intention of changing it, Mama. And I’ll thank you to keep your big nose out of my business.’’
I’m not sure which shocked Mama most. Was it pious Maddie using a curse word? Or was it her inaccurate characterization of Mama’s cute-as-a-button nose?
In a teasing tone, Marty said, “C’mon, Maddie. Mama’s nose isn’t that big.’’
Maddie turned her wrath on our little sister: “I am not in the mood for your appeasements. Not every insult can be forgiven, Marty. Not every slight can be patched over with a lame joke.’’
Marty looked like she’d been slapped. I tried to step in. “Okay, everybody, tempers are a little short tonight.’’
“There’s nothing wrong with my temper.’’ Mama glared at Maddie. “She’s the one who’s not acting like herself. You better shape up, girl. You don’t want to ruin your husband’s birthday party.’’
“This is not about Kenny! Can’t there ever be a single thing that’s about me?’’
If I didn’t know about the current problems between Maddie and her husband, I’d have laughed out loud. In their marriage, Maddie had always had the upper hand. Kenny was worshipful, always trying extra hard to please her. Their relationship was always 80 percent about Maddie; 20 percent about Kenny. Until now.
“Mama’s right,’’ Marty said. “There’s nothing festive about this mood of yours. You better get yourself into that yellow dress and a celebrating mood by Saturday.’’
Maddie was quiet;
When I returned bearing my Nancy Nurse supplies, Carlos looked embarrassed and pleased at the same time. There is not a man alive who doesn’t like being fussed over—no matter how muy macho he is, or how hardened from a career of chasing scary criminals. If I’d learned nothing else from Mama’s lessons about womanly wiles, I had at least learned that.
Plus, I liked to be in charge in a medical emergency, so it was win-win for me.
I swabbed the wound—more of a scratch, really. “Does that sting?’’
“Not too bad.’’
I put my mouth close and blew on his thumb, just like Mama used to do for us when we were children.
“That tickles,’’ Carlos said.
“If you’re a good boy, maybe Mace will give you a lick off her lollipop.’’ Sal leered at us from his recliner.
“That sounds pretty good.’’ Carlos smiled suggestively. “There’s nothing like a sweet, juicy lollipop. I like the cherry ones best.’’
Marty laughed. I’m pretty sure I blushed.
“Has every couple in this family regressed to acting like hormonal teenagers?’’ Maddie said. “Get a room, you two.’’
“Don’t be such a sourpuss, Maddie,’’ Mama said. “You’re really off your oats, girl. Your ‘monthly visitor’ still giving you trouble?’’
Sal cleared his throat. Carlos got interested in reading the label of his Budweiser bottle. “Have you gone crazy?’’ Maddie stared at Mama.
Before Maddie inadvertently revealed I’d lied with that cover story about menstrual troubles, I said, “Nope, Mama’s not crazy. Just a little inappropriate, due to all that pink wine she’s consumed . Let’s talk about something else, why don’t we?’’
“Fine with me,’’ Mama said. “Let’s see if we can figure out what Maddie should wear to Kenny’s party. I’m still opposed to that yellow dress, honey.’’ She took a magazine off the coffee table and started leafing through the sticky-noted pages. “Now, I’ve marked pictures of dresses in shades that would be much more flattering with your complexion.’’
Sal heaved himself to his feet. “Fashion? That’s my cue to go to the den and catch some sports on TV.’’ Carlos wasted no time following the big man’s lead.
As soon as they were gone, Maddie exploded: “The yellow dress is fine. I have no damned intention of changing it, Mama. And I’ll thank you to keep your big nose out of my business.’’
I’m not sure which shocked Mama most. Was it pious Maddie using a curse word? Or was it her inaccurate characterization of Mama’s cute-as-a-button nose?
In a teasing tone, Marty said, “C’mon, Maddie. Mama’s nose isn’t that big.’’
Maddie turned her wrath on our little sister: “I am not in the mood for your appeasements. Not every insult can be forgiven, Marty. Not every slight can be patched over with a lame joke.’’
Marty looked like she’d been slapped. I tried to step in. “Okay, everybody, tempers are a little short tonight.’’
“There’s nothing wrong with my temper.’’ Mama glared at Maddie. “She’s the one who’s not acting like herself. You better shape up, girl. You don’t want to ruin your husband’s birthday party.’’
“This is not about Kenny! Can’t there ever be a single thing that’s about me?’’
If I didn’t know about the current problems between Maddie and her husband, I’d have laughed out loud. In their marriage, Maddie had always had the upper hand. Kenny was worshipful, always trying extra hard to please her. Their relationship was always 80 percent about Maddie; 20 percent about Kenny. Until now.
“Mama’s right,’’ Marty said. “There’s nothing festive about this mood of yours. You better get yourself into that yellow dress and a celebrating mood by Saturday.’’
Maddie was quiet;
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