see the shadow of my father in the background.”
“Toni, stop. Just stop and listen to me. Is Enrico Lucchesi more stubborn than Dario? Than your father?”
Antonella shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Ilaria chuckled. “You do know. It’s not possible to be more stubborn than the men in your family. You’ve told me so a million times.”
Ilaria had a good point. “You’re right. I think.”
“You just have to wait him out. Let him realize certain things. Let him come to you.”
“Maybe I have been pushing too hard. I’d just—” She looked away and chewed at her bottom lip.
“You’d just what?”
Heat flooded her face. Porca vacca , why hadn’t she kept her mouth shut? “I’d just like him to… find me desirable. Regardless.”
“Oh sweetie. He’s kissed you. He wouldn’t have if he didn’t.”
Antonella took a deep breath. “I think that would be a stretch. He’s kissed me three times. That doesn’t mean much.” She shook her head. “Not to a boy like Enrico.”
“Give him some credit. Give yourself some credit, Toni. He kissed you. Not once. Not twice. But three times. Real kisses. If he didn’t think you were attractive, why would he bother? Don’t you think he’d behave like so many of them? Barely give you a glance and find a mistress the moment the marriage license was signed?”
“Maybe he was being polite.”
“Is he being polite to you now?”
“Not at all.”
“Well then. He’s being honest. And that’s better.”
“And how is his yelling at me a good thing?”
“Because he’s not hiding. He might be pushing you away or avoiding you, but he’s not lying.”
Ilaria pulled her inside a gelateria , and Antonella studied the flavors. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Of course I am. I’ve seen you deal with Dario and your father. You always manage to twist them around your fingers, and you have infinite patience with them. How is Enrico any different?”
I hurt him . But she could never tell Ilaria that. “It is different, and you know it. I know they love me; they have to. Enrico doesn’t. And he doesn’t have any reason to ever love me.”
Ilaria hissed. “I really want to slap you right now. I know you’ve had a crush on him for ages, and Dio knows Enrico Lucchesi is something spectacular, but he’s just a man.”
Ilaria placed an order for pistachio gelato and nudged Antonella until she ordered the nocciolato , the combination of chocolate and hazelnuts that she could never resist. They collected their treats and went outside. Antonella took a spoonful, the cold gelato feeling delightful on her tongue. She resumed the conversation, said the thing she’d been reluctant to say in front of the boy at the counter.
“I want to be happy, Ilaria. I want him to be happy. I don’t want the sort of marriage where we don’t speak except about the kids. I don’t want to sit home by myself every night while he’s out… fornicating.”
Ilaria laughed so hard she turned red. “ Fornicating ? You sound like Sister Maria.”
Antonella blushed. “Well, I don’t know what word to use.”
“Yes, you do. Your father says it often enough.”
“It’s not polite.”
“Or ladylike.”
Antonella met Ilaria’s dancing eyes and started chuckling. “No, it’s not.”
“Do you think,” Ilaria asked, her voice deliberately proper, “that Enrico Lucchesi wants a lady in his bed?”
Antonella giggled. “I have no idea what he wants.” She leaned closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. “But when we kissed the second time, he took my hand and put it on his cazzo . And it was hard.”
Ilaria broke into a grin. “He doesn’t want a lady then.” A moment later, she sobered. “You need to be careful, Toni. Think what your father would do if he knew about that.”
Antonella’s stomach tightened. “You’re right. But…”
“But what?”
“Do you think Rico expects me to know… things ?”
“I’m sure he assumes you know the
“Toni, stop. Just stop and listen to me. Is Enrico Lucchesi more stubborn than Dario? Than your father?”
Antonella shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Ilaria chuckled. “You do know. It’s not possible to be more stubborn than the men in your family. You’ve told me so a million times.”
Ilaria had a good point. “You’re right. I think.”
“You just have to wait him out. Let him realize certain things. Let him come to you.”
“Maybe I have been pushing too hard. I’d just—” She looked away and chewed at her bottom lip.
“You’d just what?”
Heat flooded her face. Porca vacca , why hadn’t she kept her mouth shut? “I’d just like him to… find me desirable. Regardless.”
“Oh sweetie. He’s kissed you. He wouldn’t have if he didn’t.”
Antonella took a deep breath. “I think that would be a stretch. He’s kissed me three times. That doesn’t mean much.” She shook her head. “Not to a boy like Enrico.”
“Give him some credit. Give yourself some credit, Toni. He kissed you. Not once. Not twice. But three times. Real kisses. If he didn’t think you were attractive, why would he bother? Don’t you think he’d behave like so many of them? Barely give you a glance and find a mistress the moment the marriage license was signed?”
“Maybe he was being polite.”
“Is he being polite to you now?”
“Not at all.”
“Well then. He’s being honest. And that’s better.”
“And how is his yelling at me a good thing?”
“Because he’s not hiding. He might be pushing you away or avoiding you, but he’s not lying.”
Ilaria pulled her inside a gelateria , and Antonella studied the flavors. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Of course I am. I’ve seen you deal with Dario and your father. You always manage to twist them around your fingers, and you have infinite patience with them. How is Enrico any different?”
I hurt him . But she could never tell Ilaria that. “It is different, and you know it. I know they love me; they have to. Enrico doesn’t. And he doesn’t have any reason to ever love me.”
Ilaria hissed. “I really want to slap you right now. I know you’ve had a crush on him for ages, and Dio knows Enrico Lucchesi is something spectacular, but he’s just a man.”
Ilaria placed an order for pistachio gelato and nudged Antonella until she ordered the nocciolato , the combination of chocolate and hazelnuts that she could never resist. They collected their treats and went outside. Antonella took a spoonful, the cold gelato feeling delightful on her tongue. She resumed the conversation, said the thing she’d been reluctant to say in front of the boy at the counter.
“I want to be happy, Ilaria. I want him to be happy. I don’t want the sort of marriage where we don’t speak except about the kids. I don’t want to sit home by myself every night while he’s out… fornicating.”
Ilaria laughed so hard she turned red. “ Fornicating ? You sound like Sister Maria.”
Antonella blushed. “Well, I don’t know what word to use.”
“Yes, you do. Your father says it often enough.”
“It’s not polite.”
“Or ladylike.”
Antonella met Ilaria’s dancing eyes and started chuckling. “No, it’s not.”
“Do you think,” Ilaria asked, her voice deliberately proper, “that Enrico Lucchesi wants a lady in his bed?”
Antonella giggled. “I have no idea what he wants.” She leaned closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. “But when we kissed the second time, he took my hand and put it on his cazzo . And it was hard.”
Ilaria broke into a grin. “He doesn’t want a lady then.” A moment later, she sobered. “You need to be careful, Toni. Think what your father would do if he knew about that.”
Antonella’s stomach tightened. “You’re right. But…”
“But what?”
“Do you think Rico expects me to know… things ?”
“I’m sure he assumes you know the
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