MA10 Sweet Myth-tery of Life by Robert Asprin Page B

you going from here, Mr. Skeeve?” the taller one purred. “There’s going to be a party at our place later if you want to come by.”
    “Wipe your chin, Sweetheart,” Cassandra smiled, slipping her arm around my shoulder. “He’s my date ... and I plan to keep him busy all night.”
    That had an intriguing sound to it, but just then someone else started tugging on my sleeve.
    “Excuse me, Mr. Skeeve,”· said an awesome set of teeth from a point too close to focus on. “I was wondering if I might interview you sometime at your convenience?”
    “Well ... I’m kind of busy right now,” I hedged, trying to lean back far enough to get a better look at my questioner ... which unfortunately pressed the back of my head up against one of the party girls.
    “Oh, I don’t mean now,” the teeth said, matching my retreat with a move forward so I still couldn’t see what who was talking. “If you can stop by our table over there later, we’ll set up an appointment. I’ll have a drink waiting for you ... Bloody Mary, right?”
    “Right. I mean, okay. But ...”
    But by that time the person was gone. I only hoped that they’d recognize me if I got into the general vicinity. Right now, my attention was caught by the fact that whoever I was pressing backward against was now pressing forward against the back of my head ... far too insistently for it to be an accident.
    “Say, Skeeve,” Cassandra said, giving me an excuse to break contact which I took, pausing only to take a gulp of my drink before I leaned toward her.
    “Yes, Cassandra?”
    “If you don’t mind, can we head out of here after you finish your drink? There are a couple other places I’d like to hit tonight ... you know, to show you off a little?”
    “No problem,” I said, “but it might take a while.”
    Somehow, during the last flurry of discussions, my two drinks had multiplied into four.
    “Oh, I’m in no hurry,” she said, giving me a quick kiss. “I know you’ve got to deal with some of these people now that they know who you are. It goes with the notoriety. It may be old hat to you, but I’m having a blast!”
    To say the least, it wasn’t old hat to me. Maybe if it was, I would have handled it better.
    I remember signing my name a lot and some more drinks being delivered ... and kissing Cassandra and, I think, another club ... or two other clubs ... and more drinks ...

OPENING MY EYES , I suffered a brief moment of disorientation, and then things started swimming into focus.
    I was in my room ...in my own bed, to be specific, though the covers seemed to be twisted and disheveled. I was naked under the covers, though I had no recollection of getting undressed. I assumed it was morning, as there was sunlight streaming through the window. In short everything looked normal.
    So why did I feel there was something wrong?
    I was lying on my side, and I realized my sinuses had flooded, making it impossible to breathe out of the nostril on the “downhill” side. In an effort to alleviate this situation, I rolled over and ...
    It hit me!!!
    A pounding headache ... a nauseous stomach ... the works!
    There had been times in the past when I had gotten sick, but nothing like this! At first I was afraid I was going to die.
    Then I was afraid I’d live. Misery such as I was feeling should have a finite end.
    Groaning slightly and burrowing into my pillow, I tried to gather my thoughts.
    What was going on here? What happened to make me feel ... Suddenly, the memory of the previous night flashed across my mind ... or, at least, the beginning of it.
    The blind date ... the Wooden Stake ... the admiring crowds ... Cassandra!
    I sat bolt upright and ...
    Big mistake. BIG mistake.
    Every pain and queasiness I had been feeling slammed into me threefold. With a moan, I fell limply back onto my pillow heedless of the new unpleasant sensations this move caused. You could only feel so miserable, and I had bottomed out. Nothing could make me feel worse.