MA09 Myth Inc in Action by Robert Asprin Page B

Guido... and remember what we were talking about.”
    With that, he gives me a big wink and wanders off, leavin’ me alone with the skirt... who wastes no time plantin’ her curvaceous bottom on the chair my cousin has so graciously vacated.
    “So... I haven’t seen you in here before.”
    “What?”
    I have been so busy thinkin’ about what I am goin’ to do to Nunzio to repay him for his ‘graciousness’ that I nearly miss the broad’s openin’ gambit.
    “Oh. No, we just got into town this week. This seems to be turnin’ out to be our main hangout, though.”
    “Hey, that’s terrific! This is one of my favorite spots. It’s my first time in this week though. Girl’s got to do the rounds to keep up with what’s going on in town... like when new soldiers arrive.”
    Although I have been feelin’ self-conscious about meetin’ one of these high class skirts this one seems real easy to talk to... like I’d known her for years. What’s more, she is certainly not at all hard on the eyes, if you know what I mean.
    “Say,” I sez, “can I get you somethin’ to drink? A wine spritzer, maybe?”
    “Bourbon. Rocks. Water back.”
    “Say what?”
    I mean, it isn’t just that she drinks stronger hooch than I would have expected, it is the way she rattled it off. I decide it is not this chick’s first time into a bar... a decision made easier by the fact she has already told me as much.
    “Better still,” she sez, “isn’t there somewhere else we can go?”
    This is a rough one. Abdul’s is the only joint in town I have frequented so far.
    “Ummmm...” I sez, thinkin’ fast, “I have heard of some place around here where there’s open stage entertainment.”
    Mind you, I am not wild about takin’ this skirt somewhere where I might run into my commandin’ officer, but I figure she’ll be impressed with my willingness to spring for a good time.
    “I was thinking someplace more like the rooms upstairs,” she sez, leanin’ forward to smile at me real close.
    I am taken a little aback by the forwardness of this suggestion, though I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. When a high-class babe like this approaches a low-brow Joe like me in a bar, she is not usually after witty conversation... which, in my case, is fortunate.

    (AUTHOR’S NOTE: It has been brought to my attention by some of my test readers that the concepts in this chapter and those that immediately follow are a marked change of pace from the normal MYTH content. In this, I fear it may be my sad duty to introduce to some readers for the first time the horrifying reality that there are a few sick, twisted, perverted individuals who approach members of the opposite sex in singles bars for purposes other than pleasant conversation! I feel free to identify them as such in this book, since it is a well-known fact that such blots on the shining history of mankind do not read, making me relatively safe from legal action. Incidentally, this is also why the question “Read any good books lately?” has become such a popular way of screening whom one does or doesn’t talk to under such circumstances. I will leave it to you how to answer if the question is ever addressed to you. Meanwhile, back to the story...)

    As I was sayin’ before I was so rudely interrupted, I am at a bit of a loss as to how to respond to this advance.
    “Right now?” I sez. “Don’t you want to talk for a while first?”
    “What’s wrong? Don’t you like me?” she sez, startin’ to pout a little. “Should I go peddle my wares somewhere else?”
    “Peddle?”
    “Watch it,” she sez, flat and nasty. “It’s a figure of speech.”
    “Oh.”
    I am vastly relieved to hear this. The only thing more depressin’ to a sensitive guy like me than learnin’ that a female is interested in him for his body and not his mind is learnin’ that her real interest is in his wallet.
    “Well?” she sez, cockin’ an eyebrow at me.
    Though I am, perhaps, a little dense at