got to sell.”
This was turnin’ out ta be even better than I had hoped.
“Just suppose,” I said, “just suppose the new location was in a hotel, and suppose that hotel had a casino and disco. That would give you a captive clientele, since nobody wants ta leave the building and wander around to find somethin’ they can buy right where they are.”
“A hotel and casino, eh? I dunno, though. Junk is still junk.”
“Not if you had an exclusive to print the name of the place on every thin’ you sell. Junk with a name on it is souvenirs, and folks expect ta pay more for them. Right?”
The proprietor was startin’ ta get excited.
“That’s right! You got a place like this, lady? How much ya asking for rent?”
“Minimal, with a piece of the action goin’ ta the house. How does that sound?”
“How much floor space do you have available? If I can expand, I can get a volume discount from my supplier and still raise my prices. Say, do you have a printer lined up yet?”
“Hadn’t really thought about it.”
“Good. I got a brother-in-law who does good work cheap ... fast, too. How about a restaurant? All those folks gotta eat.”
Now that was one that had slipped by both Vic and me.
“A restaurant?”
“... Cause if you don’t, I know a guy who’s been looking to move his deli since they raised the rent on the place he’s got.”
I had a feelin’ my problems with the storefronts was solved.
“Tell ya what, Well Connected. You pass the word ta the folks you think would fit into this deal, and I’ll be back tomorrow with the floor plans. We can fight out who gets which space then.”
* * *
ALL IN ALL, things went fairly smoothly carryin’ out our plans for the revised hotel. It turned out, though, that for all our figurin’ there was one detail we overlooked.
“We need a name!” Vic moaned for the hundredth time as he paced the office.
I looked up from where I was doodlin’ on Hysterium’s desk pad.
“What was he going to call it again?”
“The Hysterium Inn.”
“Really, is it all that bad for a name?”
We looked at each other.
“Yes, we said at the same time.”
“We could come up with a better name in our sleep.”
“Terrific, Vic. What have you got?”
“Beg pardon?”
“The name. You said you could come up with a better one in your sleep.”
“I said we could come up with a better name in our sleep. This is supposed to be a team, you know.”
I shrugged helplessly.
“I’m not asleep.”
“We need a name!” my teammate moaned for the hundred and first time.
“Look on the bright side, Fangs. At least we don’t have ta overcome an established advertisin’ campaign”
The vampire plopped into a chair.
“You can say that again,” he growled. “I don’t believe how cheap that Deveel is. He was going to open without any advertising at all!”
“Zero competition, remember? If you’re figurin’ on bein’ the only game in town, you don’t have ta advertise.”
“Well, I think we can kiss the idea of bringing this job in under budget goodbye,” Vic said grimly. “Sorry, Massha. I know how hard you’ve worked cutting corners expense-wise.”
“Forget it,” I waved. “How do you figure we should promote this place, anyway?”
“The usual newspaper ads aren’t going to be enough ... even though we’ll have to do them anyway. This close to opening, we’re going to have to come up with something extra to get the word out.”
“How about billboards?”
Vic scrunched up his face.
“I don’t know, Massha. I don’t think a couple of billboards will do it.”
“I was thin kin’ more like lotsa billboards ... more like fifty of them blanketin’ the area for a ten-mile radius.”
“... Widely spaced further out and closer together the nearer you get,” he added thoughtfully. “I like it! Of course, it’ll cost.”
“So I shave a little here and there on the decorations. We’d better get on those right away. Nothin’ too
This was turnin’ out ta be even better than I had hoped.
“Just suppose,” I said, “just suppose the new location was in a hotel, and suppose that hotel had a casino and disco. That would give you a captive clientele, since nobody wants ta leave the building and wander around to find somethin’ they can buy right where they are.”
“A hotel and casino, eh? I dunno, though. Junk is still junk.”
“Not if you had an exclusive to print the name of the place on every thin’ you sell. Junk with a name on it is souvenirs, and folks expect ta pay more for them. Right?”
The proprietor was startin’ ta get excited.
“That’s right! You got a place like this, lady? How much ya asking for rent?”
“Minimal, with a piece of the action goin’ ta the house. How does that sound?”
“How much floor space do you have available? If I can expand, I can get a volume discount from my supplier and still raise my prices. Say, do you have a printer lined up yet?”
“Hadn’t really thought about it.”
“Good. I got a brother-in-law who does good work cheap ... fast, too. How about a restaurant? All those folks gotta eat.”
Now that was one that had slipped by both Vic and me.
“A restaurant?”
“... Cause if you don’t, I know a guy who’s been looking to move his deli since they raised the rent on the place he’s got.”
I had a feelin’ my problems with the storefronts was solved.
“Tell ya what, Well Connected. You pass the word ta the folks you think would fit into this deal, and I’ll be back tomorrow with the floor plans. We can fight out who gets which space then.”
* * *
ALL IN ALL, things went fairly smoothly carryin’ out our plans for the revised hotel. It turned out, though, that for all our figurin’ there was one detail we overlooked.
“We need a name!” Vic moaned for the hundredth time as he paced the office.
I looked up from where I was doodlin’ on Hysterium’s desk pad.
“What was he going to call it again?”
“The Hysterium Inn.”
“Really, is it all that bad for a name?”
We looked at each other.
“Yes, we said at the same time.”
“We could come up with a better name in our sleep.”
“Terrific, Vic. What have you got?”
“Beg pardon?”
“The name. You said you could come up with a better one in your sleep.”
“I said we could come up with a better name in our sleep. This is supposed to be a team, you know.”
I shrugged helplessly.
“I’m not asleep.”
“We need a name!” my teammate moaned for the hundred and first time.
“Look on the bright side, Fangs. At least we don’t have ta overcome an established advertisin’ campaign”
The vampire plopped into a chair.
“You can say that again,” he growled. “I don’t believe how cheap that Deveel is. He was going to open without any advertising at all!”
“Zero competition, remember? If you’re figurin’ on bein’ the only game in town, you don’t have ta advertise.”
“Well, I think we can kiss the idea of bringing this job in under budget goodbye,” Vic said grimly. “Sorry, Massha. I know how hard you’ve worked cutting corners expense-wise.”
“Forget it,” I waved. “How do you figure we should promote this place, anyway?”
“The usual newspaper ads aren’t going to be enough ... even though we’ll have to do them anyway. This close to opening, we’re going to have to come up with something extra to get the word out.”
“How about billboards?”
Vic scrunched up his face.
“I don’t know, Massha. I don’t think a couple of billboards will do it.”
“I was thin kin’ more like lotsa billboards ... more like fifty of them blanketin’ the area for a ten-mile radius.”
“... Widely spaced further out and closer together the nearer you get,” he added thoughtfully. “I like it! Of course, it’ll cost.”
“So I shave a little here and there on the decorations. We’d better get on those right away. Nothin’ too
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