hooks.”
“Since when do I have to ask you specific questions ... or any questions, for that matter, to get your input?”
“All right,” she sighed. “If you really want to know, I was hoping we could find a way to do this without using the belt.”
“Why?”
“It embarrasses me.”
“It what?”
“It embarrasses me. I look silly floating around in the air. It’s okay for skinny guys like you and Guido, but when I try it, I look like a blimp. All I’d need is Goodyear tattooed on my side to make the picture complete.”
I closed my eyes and tried to remember that I was tired and that I shouldn’t take it out on my friends. The fact that Massha was worried about appearances while I was trying to figure out a way to get us all out of this alive wasn’t really infuriating. It was ... flattering! That was it! She was so confident of my abilities to get us through this crisis that she had time to think about appearances! Of course, the possibility of betraying that confidence set me off in another round of worrying. Wonderful. “You okay, Boss?”
“Hmmm? Yeah. Sure, Guido. Okay. Now Massha floats up to the window, which leaves you and me free to ...”
“Hold it, Hot Stuff,” Massha said, holding up a hand. “I think I’d better explain a little more about this belt. I bought it in an ‘as-is’ rummage sale, and the controls are not all they should be.”
“How so?”
“Well, the ‘up’ control works okay, but the ‘altitude’ is shaky so you’re never sure how much you can lift or how high it will go. The real problem, though, is the ‘down’ control. There’s no tapering-off effect, so it’s either on or off.”
I was never particularly good at technical jargon, but flying was something I knew so I could almost follow her.
“Let me see if I’ve got this right,” I said. “When you go up, you aren’t sure how much power you’ll have, and when you land ...”
“... it ain’t gentle,” she finished for me. “Basically, you fall from whatever height you’re at to the ground.”
“I don’t know much about this magic stuff,” Guido commented dryly, “but that doesn’t sound so good. Why would you use a rig like that, anyway?”
“I don’t ... at least not for flying,” Massha said. “Remember, I told you I think it makes me look silly? All I use it for is a utility belt ... you know, like Batman? I mean, it’s kind of pretty, and it isn’t easy to find belts in my size.”
“Whatever,” I said, breaking into their fashion discussion. “We’re going to use it tonight to get up to the cell even if it means rigging some kind of ballast system. Now all we need to figure out is how to open the cell window and a getaway plan. Guido, it occurs to me that we might pick up a few lessons on jailbreaks from your experiences even if they were unsuccessful. I mean, negative examples can be as instructive as positive examples. So tell me, in your opinion what went wrong in the plans you followed in the past?”
The bodyguard’s brow furrowed as it took on the unaccustomed exercise of thought.
“I dunno, Boss. It seems that however much planning was done, something always came up that we hadn’t figured on. If I had to hang our failures on anyone thing, I’d say it was just that ... over-planning. I mean, after weeks of lectures and practice sessions, you get a little overconfident, so when something goes wrong you’re caught flatfooted, know what I mean?”
Nervous as we were, that got a laugh from both Massha and me.
“Well, that’s one problem we won’t have to worry about,” I said. “Our planning time is always minimal, and for this caper we’re going to have to put it together in a matter of hours.”
“If you take hours, you’ll never pull it off,” Vilhelm said, entering our planning room just in time to hear my last comment.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Massha growled.
“Say, are you sure you guys are on the level?” the vampire said,
“Since when do I have to ask you specific questions ... or any questions, for that matter, to get your input?”
“All right,” she sighed. “If you really want to know, I was hoping we could find a way to do this without using the belt.”
“Why?”
“It embarrasses me.”
“It what?”
“It embarrasses me. I look silly floating around in the air. It’s okay for skinny guys like you and Guido, but when I try it, I look like a blimp. All I’d need is Goodyear tattooed on my side to make the picture complete.”
I closed my eyes and tried to remember that I was tired and that I shouldn’t take it out on my friends. The fact that Massha was worried about appearances while I was trying to figure out a way to get us all out of this alive wasn’t really infuriating. It was ... flattering! That was it! She was so confident of my abilities to get us through this crisis that she had time to think about appearances! Of course, the possibility of betraying that confidence set me off in another round of worrying. Wonderful. “You okay, Boss?”
“Hmmm? Yeah. Sure, Guido. Okay. Now Massha floats up to the window, which leaves you and me free to ...”
“Hold it, Hot Stuff,” Massha said, holding up a hand. “I think I’d better explain a little more about this belt. I bought it in an ‘as-is’ rummage sale, and the controls are not all they should be.”
“How so?”
“Well, the ‘up’ control works okay, but the ‘altitude’ is shaky so you’re never sure how much you can lift or how high it will go. The real problem, though, is the ‘down’ control. There’s no tapering-off effect, so it’s either on or off.”
I was never particularly good at technical jargon, but flying was something I knew so I could almost follow her.
“Let me see if I’ve got this right,” I said. “When you go up, you aren’t sure how much power you’ll have, and when you land ...”
“... it ain’t gentle,” she finished for me. “Basically, you fall from whatever height you’re at to the ground.”
“I don’t know much about this magic stuff,” Guido commented dryly, “but that doesn’t sound so good. Why would you use a rig like that, anyway?”
“I don’t ... at least not for flying,” Massha said. “Remember, I told you I think it makes me look silly? All I use it for is a utility belt ... you know, like Batman? I mean, it’s kind of pretty, and it isn’t easy to find belts in my size.”
“Whatever,” I said, breaking into their fashion discussion. “We’re going to use it tonight to get up to the cell even if it means rigging some kind of ballast system. Now all we need to figure out is how to open the cell window and a getaway plan. Guido, it occurs to me that we might pick up a few lessons on jailbreaks from your experiences even if they were unsuccessful. I mean, negative examples can be as instructive as positive examples. So tell me, in your opinion what went wrong in the plans you followed in the past?”
The bodyguard’s brow furrowed as it took on the unaccustomed exercise of thought.
“I dunno, Boss. It seems that however much planning was done, something always came up that we hadn’t figured on. If I had to hang our failures on anyone thing, I’d say it was just that ... over-planning. I mean, after weeks of lectures and practice sessions, you get a little overconfident, so when something goes wrong you’re caught flatfooted, know what I mean?”
Nervous as we were, that got a laugh from both Massha and me.
“Well, that’s one problem we won’t have to worry about,” I said. “Our planning time is always minimal, and for this caper we’re going to have to put it together in a matter of hours.”
“If you take hours, you’ll never pull it off,” Vilhelm said, entering our planning room just in time to hear my last comment.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Massha growled.
“Say, are you sure you guys are on the level?” the vampire said,
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