says. “She’s already went through enough with Eduard. Let’s not make it worse.”
“Okay.”
“I love you, Katerina.”
“Love you too, Dad,” I say, as the line goes dead.
How can my dad hide so much of his life from me?
And better yet, how can I still love and miss him as much as I do, knowing who he is and what he does. I should be mad at him. I should hate him. But I don’t. More than anything, I just wish I could hug him and have him tell me everything is all right. Because that is what I need.
I need my dad.
Pretend.
Tristan hasn’t left my side.
All.
Day.
Long.
I was released from the hospital earlier, and since then he has stayed annoyingly by my side. He even stands outside the bathroom door, waiting for me. Which is really, really frustrating. I just want five minutes of privacy.
“I think I’m going for a run,” I say to Tristan. Maybe I can out run him. But then I think about running into Kazimir and realize that would be a bad idea. I will just have to pace him, because he can protect me.
“Nope,” he says.
“Why not? You can’t tell me what to do,” I say, even though I know he can.
“Yes I can. I’m bigger than you,” he says. “And you’re not going because you were just released from the hospital. There is no way that I am letting you do any kind of physical exertion this weekend.”
Of course he’s not.
He’s just going to make me sit here and go crazy.
“I just want to not think,” I tell him, hoping that he will cave. “When I run, I can turn off my brain. It’s wonderful.”
“Not happening,” he says.
I sit down on my bed, feeling frustrated that this is my life now.
Savannah is hanging out with Kaiden and Madox playing video games. It’s pretty much their Saturday routine. She doesn’t know what happened last night and hopefully she never will.
“I miss him.”
“Him who?” Tristan asks.
“My dad,” I answer. “And I feel bad for missing him. But he’s not the awful person you think he is. Not all the time. At home he’s kind and gentle. I just wish I could see him and talk to him.”
“You shouldn’t feel bad for missing him. You didn’t know,” he says. “But you do know now.”
“I wish I didn’t know.”
“Don’t ever wish that,” he says. “Knowledge is power. When we go to Russia for Christmas break, you will see your dad differently. There is no way you couldn’t.”
“What do you mean when we go to Russia for Christmas break?” I ask.
“Oh, you didn’t think I’d let you go alone, did you?” he asks.
“Um, yeah,” I answer.
“Nope. I’m going with you.”
“How am I going to explain you to my family? ‘This is Tristan. He’s teaching me how to take down Dad’s terrorist group, don’t mind him,’” I say, not bothering to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.
“I’m not going as your bodyguard. I’m going as your American boyfriend,” he says.
I laugh.
Hard.
Tristan frowns at me.
“Oh, you’re serious.”
He nods.
“You’re going to pretend to be my boyfriend?” I ask.
He nods again.
“Right,” I say. “That won’t be awkward at all.”
“Oh, it will be very awkward,” he says. “But we don’t exactly have another option.”
Could this day get any worse?
I look around my dorm. I still have twelve vases full of a dozen roses each. The balloons are all still scattered across my ceiling. And the sign Damon made is hanging above my bed. At least I have one thing to look forward to—homecoming with Damon.
“That kid really likes you,” Tristan says, looking at the sign Damon made for me.
“I think he does,” I say.
“You like him too,” he says. It’s not a question.
“I do. I mean, I’ve been attracted to him since we first met at that dance, but it’s more than that. He’s a really sweet guy. And he makes me happy,” I say. “I think he might someday be my first boyfriend.”
“Your first?” Tristan asks.
“I’ve never dated anybody else
“Okay.”
“I love you, Katerina.”
“Love you too, Dad,” I say, as the line goes dead.
How can my dad hide so much of his life from me?
And better yet, how can I still love and miss him as much as I do, knowing who he is and what he does. I should be mad at him. I should hate him. But I don’t. More than anything, I just wish I could hug him and have him tell me everything is all right. Because that is what I need.
I need my dad.
Pretend.
Tristan hasn’t left my side.
All.
Day.
Long.
I was released from the hospital earlier, and since then he has stayed annoyingly by my side. He even stands outside the bathroom door, waiting for me. Which is really, really frustrating. I just want five minutes of privacy.
“I think I’m going for a run,” I say to Tristan. Maybe I can out run him. But then I think about running into Kazimir and realize that would be a bad idea. I will just have to pace him, because he can protect me.
“Nope,” he says.
“Why not? You can’t tell me what to do,” I say, even though I know he can.
“Yes I can. I’m bigger than you,” he says. “And you’re not going because you were just released from the hospital. There is no way that I am letting you do any kind of physical exertion this weekend.”
Of course he’s not.
He’s just going to make me sit here and go crazy.
“I just want to not think,” I tell him, hoping that he will cave. “When I run, I can turn off my brain. It’s wonderful.”
“Not happening,” he says.
I sit down on my bed, feeling frustrated that this is my life now.
Savannah is hanging out with Kaiden and Madox playing video games. It’s pretty much their Saturday routine. She doesn’t know what happened last night and hopefully she never will.
“I miss him.”
“Him who?” Tristan asks.
“My dad,” I answer. “And I feel bad for missing him. But he’s not the awful person you think he is. Not all the time. At home he’s kind and gentle. I just wish I could see him and talk to him.”
“You shouldn’t feel bad for missing him. You didn’t know,” he says. “But you do know now.”
“I wish I didn’t know.”
“Don’t ever wish that,” he says. “Knowledge is power. When we go to Russia for Christmas break, you will see your dad differently. There is no way you couldn’t.”
“What do you mean when we go to Russia for Christmas break?” I ask.
“Oh, you didn’t think I’d let you go alone, did you?” he asks.
“Um, yeah,” I answer.
“Nope. I’m going with you.”
“How am I going to explain you to my family? ‘This is Tristan. He’s teaching me how to take down Dad’s terrorist group, don’t mind him,’” I say, not bothering to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.
“I’m not going as your bodyguard. I’m going as your American boyfriend,” he says.
I laugh.
Hard.
Tristan frowns at me.
“Oh, you’re serious.”
He nods.
“You’re going to pretend to be my boyfriend?” I ask.
He nods again.
“Right,” I say. “That won’t be awkward at all.”
“Oh, it will be very awkward,” he says. “But we don’t exactly have another option.”
Could this day get any worse?
I look around my dorm. I still have twelve vases full of a dozen roses each. The balloons are all still scattered across my ceiling. And the sign Damon made is hanging above my bed. At least I have one thing to look forward to—homecoming with Damon.
“That kid really likes you,” Tristan says, looking at the sign Damon made for me.
“I think he does,” I say.
“You like him too,” he says. It’s not a question.
“I do. I mean, I’ve been attracted to him since we first met at that dance, but it’s more than that. He’s a really sweet guy. And he makes me happy,” I say. “I think he might someday be my first boyfriend.”
“Your first?” Tristan asks.
“I’ve never dated anybody else
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