relationship, slowly infesting it with venom until she could no longer stand and finally broke apart.
“I’ll spend my life asking you for forgiveness, Nales,” I promised, praying to an unnamed being that one day she’d find room for me in her heart once again.
Her non-response made me sit up on the bed. I couldn’t even hear her breathing on the other end so I asked, “Nales?”
A stretch of two minutes must have passed before finally, she said, “I’m here.”
“Okay.” I wanted her to tell me she forgave me. I wanted her to reassure me that one day she’ll love me again the same way she used to.
I wanted her to say ‘yes’ when I asked her to be my wife. I wanted her…just her.
“I’m gonna get some sleep,” her words sliced through my heart, leaving me reeling with unease, and all my hopes slowly coming to a halt.
“Nales?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” I honestly, truly did.
I heard her swallow, then she uttered, “I forgave you, Xavier. I’d forgiven you a long time ago otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this with you.”
I should have felt relief with her answer, but how was it that I was far from relieved? It almost sounded as if she’d just settled with me, that she’d given up hope about me, and us.
“Will you…” My wall of self-preservation was chipping away in the aimless wind, “trust me again? That I’ll be there for you? Always?” There. I said it. It’s only been two weeks. Two weeks that we’d been back together, but I needed to know if she’d give me another chance. A true opportunity to mend the tear, glue the break I’d created between us.
“Can we just see where this goes?” The short, clipped question made me think she was really tired.
“Okay,” I replied, a fireball of hope burgeoning inside my chest. “Get some sleep.”
“Bye.”
I held onto the phone long after she hung up. The more I thought about it, the more I started to question her reply. Was she thinking that we’re not going to last? What does ‘see where this goes’ mean? Did it mean that she was just going along for the ride and not caring about where we’re headed? Did she even see a future with me?
So many questions left unanswered. I couldn’t blame her for questioning my motives. After all when she gave me her all, I handed it all back to her and left her empty-handed.
She’d played all her cards with me and came out in a bust. It was my time to leave it all on the table for her. This time I wasn’t playing to win or to lose. I wasn’t even playing for keeps because playing with her would be the ultimate insult.
I was holding on to the rope of hope, the sliver of a chance that she was giving me so she’ll learn to share everything with me, trust me, love me again.
For always.
“You’ll do great, Nalee,” My former boss, Stephanie Delacorte, said reassuringly while pushing the button on the elevator.
When she’d hired me two years ago, I was fresh out of college. The East Coast company I had been planning on working with right after graduation had declared bankruptcy so I was at a complete loss. I’d sent my resume to more than a dozen companies, both private and public, and had received at least five job offers. Stephanie, then chief compliance officer, had given me the shortest interview out of all of them, and asked me three questions. I remembered sitting in front of her in her colder than the frozen Arctic room, skimming over my resume, and with an indifferent look, she’d fired up with the interrogation.
First, she’d inquired, “What makes you different from the other candidates?”
My reply was, “I don’t know them. I just know what I’m capable of. I’m hardworking, self-sufficient, and will stay overnight for a project if needed.”
A slight tilt of her blonde eyebrows was her response.
Second she’d asked, “What’s your biggest weakness?” to which I’d said, “Animals, trees, and Mother Nature who suffer because of our
“I’ll spend my life asking you for forgiveness, Nales,” I promised, praying to an unnamed being that one day she’d find room for me in her heart once again.
Her non-response made me sit up on the bed. I couldn’t even hear her breathing on the other end so I asked, “Nales?”
A stretch of two minutes must have passed before finally, she said, “I’m here.”
“Okay.” I wanted her to tell me she forgave me. I wanted her to reassure me that one day she’ll love me again the same way she used to.
I wanted her to say ‘yes’ when I asked her to be my wife. I wanted her…just her.
“I’m gonna get some sleep,” her words sliced through my heart, leaving me reeling with unease, and all my hopes slowly coming to a halt.
“Nales?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” I honestly, truly did.
I heard her swallow, then she uttered, “I forgave you, Xavier. I’d forgiven you a long time ago otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this with you.”
I should have felt relief with her answer, but how was it that I was far from relieved? It almost sounded as if she’d just settled with me, that she’d given up hope about me, and us.
“Will you…” My wall of self-preservation was chipping away in the aimless wind, “trust me again? That I’ll be there for you? Always?” There. I said it. It’s only been two weeks. Two weeks that we’d been back together, but I needed to know if she’d give me another chance. A true opportunity to mend the tear, glue the break I’d created between us.
“Can we just see where this goes?” The short, clipped question made me think she was really tired.
“Okay,” I replied, a fireball of hope burgeoning inside my chest. “Get some sleep.”
“Bye.”
I held onto the phone long after she hung up. The more I thought about it, the more I started to question her reply. Was she thinking that we’re not going to last? What does ‘see where this goes’ mean? Did it mean that she was just going along for the ride and not caring about where we’re headed? Did she even see a future with me?
So many questions left unanswered. I couldn’t blame her for questioning my motives. After all when she gave me her all, I handed it all back to her and left her empty-handed.
She’d played all her cards with me and came out in a bust. It was my time to leave it all on the table for her. This time I wasn’t playing to win or to lose. I wasn’t even playing for keeps because playing with her would be the ultimate insult.
I was holding on to the rope of hope, the sliver of a chance that she was giving me so she’ll learn to share everything with me, trust me, love me again.
For always.
“You’ll do great, Nalee,” My former boss, Stephanie Delacorte, said reassuringly while pushing the button on the elevator.
When she’d hired me two years ago, I was fresh out of college. The East Coast company I had been planning on working with right after graduation had declared bankruptcy so I was at a complete loss. I’d sent my resume to more than a dozen companies, both private and public, and had received at least five job offers. Stephanie, then chief compliance officer, had given me the shortest interview out of all of them, and asked me three questions. I remembered sitting in front of her in her colder than the frozen Arctic room, skimming over my resume, and with an indifferent look, she’d fired up with the interrogation.
First, she’d inquired, “What makes you different from the other candidates?”
My reply was, “I don’t know them. I just know what I’m capable of. I’m hardworking, self-sufficient, and will stay overnight for a project if needed.”
A slight tilt of her blonde eyebrows was her response.
Second she’d asked, “What’s your biggest weakness?” to which I’d said, “Animals, trees, and Mother Nature who suffer because of our
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