apologizing for the bits that make us blokes?’ Ian nodded with the weight of someone most familiar with such a syndrome. ‘You know how some women fulfil one part of our criteria but are so sorely lacking in other aspects?’ Saul continued. ‘Beautiful but boring? Interesting but just not sexy? Horny as hell but dumb as fuck? Well, it seems incredibly simple, but I like all of her a lot.’
‘To Thea,’ said Ian, raising his bottle of Kingfisher beer and telling himself he really did not need that last rip of nan bread. He'd do juice until noon the next day, he decided.
‘I wasn't looking,’ Saul mused wistfully, ‘I was just on Primrose Hill and she came into view.’
‘Good luck,’ said Ian, presuming the evening to be subliminal payback for the time he'd droned on about Karen.
‘It is,’ Saul agreed, ‘it is very good luck.’
‘So that's it then?’ Ian said slyly. ‘Temptation can lead you by the balls and you'll resist?’
‘Thea inspires fidelity.’ Saul paused. ‘In my heart and mind, at least!’
Ian and Saul looked at each other for a moment and then chuckled into the last of their curry.
‘Not on a full stomach – surely not!’ Ian said.
‘Your wife's footing the tab,’ Saul laughed, taking Mark to a restaurant that still believed in starched linen at lunchtime. ‘How was Hong Kong?’
‘Knackering,’ Mark said quietly, ‘but essential. Hong Kong is crazy – but the business is a dream for us at the moment. Tokyo next week.’
‘I guess the bonus will be your bonus?’ Saul said.
Mark tipped his head and chinked glasses with Saul. ‘I need to keep my wife in Jimmy Shoes.’
Saul wasn't sure whether to correct Mark. He let it go. ‘You get what you pay for!’ he said lightly instead.
‘Actually, Alice is brilliant at blagging,’ Mark confessed. ‘I always offer to buy stuff but she always declines and says she can call in favours at work. I think she gets more of a thrill from getting a bargain or freebie than from the item itself. Have you seen those monstrous rocks in her ears?’
‘The diamonds?’ Saul said. ‘You can't really fail to notice them.’
‘Three carats?’ Mark suggested. Saul shrugged. He had never bought a diamond. ‘QVC,’ Mark said triumphantly.
‘Is that the sparkle factor or the colour clarity?’ Saul asked,trying to sound like someone who'd bought diamonds.
Mark roared with laughter. ‘QVC – the shopping channel! Alice is forever buying stuff from QVC. Those earrings were £29.95 – and she got a hideous suedette presentation box for being one of the first hundred callers.’
‘Are the Jimmy Choos fake too?’ Saul said subtly.
‘Unfortunately not,’ Mark groaned, ‘they're bona-fide Jimmy Shoes shoes.’
‘I suppose it evens out,’ Saul said lightly. ‘Think how much you'd pay at Tiffany for gems that size.’
‘Hey, I'm not complaining,’ said Mark, ‘Christ no. I have the most beautiful wife – I was about to say “I could ever dream of” but in fact she is the beautiful wife I always dreamt of.’
‘You've known each other ages,’ Saul recalled.
‘Since school days,’ Mark said, ‘friends for years. Confidants. And then one day, Alice says to me, “If you ask me, I'll say yes.” I hadn't a clue what she was on about. I mean, I hadn't even kissed the girl, let alone taken her to bed. I just stared at her gormlessly. She proposed. It wasn't a leap year. I hadn't bought diamonds from Tiffany or QVC. I was washing up and, calm as you like, she turns to me and asks me to marry her.’
‘And you still can't believe your luck?’ Saul laughed.
‘That's just it,’ said Mark, ‘it's not about luck. To me, the more you love someone, the more you deserve them – and I'd loved her for a long, long time. Albeit from afar. I hadn't resented the fuckwits she dated though I hated them when they hurt her. I hadn't found anyone special and was happy to see women in a non-committal way. And then Alice decided
‘To Thea,’ said Ian, raising his bottle of Kingfisher beer and telling himself he really did not need that last rip of nan bread. He'd do juice until noon the next day, he decided.
‘I wasn't looking,’ Saul mused wistfully, ‘I was just on Primrose Hill and she came into view.’
‘Good luck,’ said Ian, presuming the evening to be subliminal payback for the time he'd droned on about Karen.
‘It is,’ Saul agreed, ‘it is very good luck.’
‘So that's it then?’ Ian said slyly. ‘Temptation can lead you by the balls and you'll resist?’
‘Thea inspires fidelity.’ Saul paused. ‘In my heart and mind, at least!’
Ian and Saul looked at each other for a moment and then chuckled into the last of their curry.
‘Not on a full stomach – surely not!’ Ian said.
‘Your wife's footing the tab,’ Saul laughed, taking Mark to a restaurant that still believed in starched linen at lunchtime. ‘How was Hong Kong?’
‘Knackering,’ Mark said quietly, ‘but essential. Hong Kong is crazy – but the business is a dream for us at the moment. Tokyo next week.’
‘I guess the bonus will be your bonus?’ Saul said.
Mark tipped his head and chinked glasses with Saul. ‘I need to keep my wife in Jimmy Shoes.’
Saul wasn't sure whether to correct Mark. He let it go. ‘You get what you pay for!’ he said lightly instead.
‘Actually, Alice is brilliant at blagging,’ Mark confessed. ‘I always offer to buy stuff but she always declines and says she can call in favours at work. I think she gets more of a thrill from getting a bargain or freebie than from the item itself. Have you seen those monstrous rocks in her ears?’
‘The diamonds?’ Saul said. ‘You can't really fail to notice them.’
‘Three carats?’ Mark suggested. Saul shrugged. He had never bought a diamond. ‘QVC,’ Mark said triumphantly.
‘Is that the sparkle factor or the colour clarity?’ Saul asked,trying to sound like someone who'd bought diamonds.
Mark roared with laughter. ‘QVC – the shopping channel! Alice is forever buying stuff from QVC. Those earrings were £29.95 – and she got a hideous suedette presentation box for being one of the first hundred callers.’
‘Are the Jimmy Choos fake too?’ Saul said subtly.
‘Unfortunately not,’ Mark groaned, ‘they're bona-fide Jimmy Shoes shoes.’
‘I suppose it evens out,’ Saul said lightly. ‘Think how much you'd pay at Tiffany for gems that size.’
‘Hey, I'm not complaining,’ said Mark, ‘Christ no. I have the most beautiful wife – I was about to say “I could ever dream of” but in fact she is the beautiful wife I always dreamt of.’
‘You've known each other ages,’ Saul recalled.
‘Since school days,’ Mark said, ‘friends for years. Confidants. And then one day, Alice says to me, “If you ask me, I'll say yes.” I hadn't a clue what she was on about. I mean, I hadn't even kissed the girl, let alone taken her to bed. I just stared at her gormlessly. She proposed. It wasn't a leap year. I hadn't bought diamonds from Tiffany or QVC. I was washing up and, calm as you like, she turns to me and asks me to marry her.’
‘And you still can't believe your luck?’ Saul laughed.
‘That's just it,’ said Mark, ‘it's not about luck. To me, the more you love someone, the more you deserve them – and I'd loved her for a long, long time. Albeit from afar. I hadn't resented the fuckwits she dated though I hated them when they hurt her. I hadn't found anyone special and was happy to see women in a non-committal way. And then Alice decided
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