which was a feeling I hadn’t had for years. Deciding this was a conversation not to be had via text, I called him.
“Pea, sorry I’m a bit busy at the moment, can we chat after we all meet for lunch later?” I could hear the desperation in his voice to get off the phone, I could also hear girls giggling in the background.
“Con, what’s going on? Where are you?” I asked.
Then I heard. “Con, come over here, the food’s getting cold and so am I,” purred a female voice. I could almost hear him running his hand down his face in frustration.
“Pea, this is not what it seems. I promised a friend of mine I would meet him for breakfast today. There’s this girl he likes and she wanted to bring a friend and he asked me to double with him a couple of days ago, I didn’t want to let him down, but obviously nothing is going to happen,” he rushed his explanation out.
“Con, I didn’t think for a second that anything would’ve happened between you and the girl,” I answered softly and even I could hear the hurt in my own voice. “However, out of respect for me and what happened last night, and what might’ve happened between us because of it, plus the fact that you said you desperately want me back, you should’ve phoned or texted your friend and called it off,” I stated.
“Pea, don’t do this. It’s not like that. I mean I should’ve called it off, but I’m a dick and I wasn’t thinking straight.” His pleas were falling on deaf ears because I was done.
“Con,” I whispered, “tell me what would you say… do... or how would you feel if after having the most mind-blowing sex, followed by a lot of beautiful lovemaking with me, you awoke the next morning to a note. Not knowing where you stood, you then call me, for me to tell you I’m too busy to talk. After which you hear a guy in the background talking to me seductively, and my explanation of that is to tell you I’m technically on a date. Even though it doesn’t mean anything?” I knew I’d gotten to him when I heard him growl. Loud. I sighed. “Con, I’ll see you later at lunch…” I paused before adding the killer blow, “Oh and Con? Thanks for last night, it was a great birthday present.” Then I cut off the call and switched my phone off. I got up, showered and dressed and went out for the day, not wanting to be at home where I could be found. Not surprisingly, he didn’t show at lunch.
Although we’d spoken I didn’t see him for another week. We never talked about that night. It was like it was a magical dream.
“Seriously Pea, you freak me the fuck out when you zone out on me like that,” Dane says alarmed and I realise I probably look like a freak staring off into space, but hey if he wants to get to know me he has to take it in his stride because I’ve done this since I was a small child.
“Roll with it Dane, just roll with it. It’s just me.” I wink at him and any previous uncertainty or tension has evaporated.
“Let’s get our skating on,” I say happier than I thought I would be. Again he has me wondering why I’m so relaxed around him.
“Okay sunshine, let’s go.” He motions toward his car.
I freeze.
“I... I... just no... I can’t,” I mutter.
“Pea, I know about the accident. Soph filled me in.” His eyes take on a look sad. “You look like a deer caught in the headlights, Pea. It’s okay. Take my hand and I’ll help you through this. You can’t avoid cars forever. You’ve been in a car since the accident, right?” he asks softly.
“Yeah Dane, but only with Con,” I wheeze out feeling a stabbing pain through my chest.
He has a determined look on his face. “Well, today sunshine, you’re going to get in a car with me.”
My eyes flit between the car and Dane. I need to do this. I have to push myself. I cannot keep letting the ghosts of the past haunt me and control my life. I look at Dane, resolute in my decision.
“Right, let’s do this,” I answer, determined. Before
“Pea, sorry I’m a bit busy at the moment, can we chat after we all meet for lunch later?” I could hear the desperation in his voice to get off the phone, I could also hear girls giggling in the background.
“Con, what’s going on? Where are you?” I asked.
Then I heard. “Con, come over here, the food’s getting cold and so am I,” purred a female voice. I could almost hear him running his hand down his face in frustration.
“Pea, this is not what it seems. I promised a friend of mine I would meet him for breakfast today. There’s this girl he likes and she wanted to bring a friend and he asked me to double with him a couple of days ago, I didn’t want to let him down, but obviously nothing is going to happen,” he rushed his explanation out.
“Con, I didn’t think for a second that anything would’ve happened between you and the girl,” I answered softly and even I could hear the hurt in my own voice. “However, out of respect for me and what happened last night, and what might’ve happened between us because of it, plus the fact that you said you desperately want me back, you should’ve phoned or texted your friend and called it off,” I stated.
“Pea, don’t do this. It’s not like that. I mean I should’ve called it off, but I’m a dick and I wasn’t thinking straight.” His pleas were falling on deaf ears because I was done.
“Con,” I whispered, “tell me what would you say… do... or how would you feel if after having the most mind-blowing sex, followed by a lot of beautiful lovemaking with me, you awoke the next morning to a note. Not knowing where you stood, you then call me, for me to tell you I’m too busy to talk. After which you hear a guy in the background talking to me seductively, and my explanation of that is to tell you I’m technically on a date. Even though it doesn’t mean anything?” I knew I’d gotten to him when I heard him growl. Loud. I sighed. “Con, I’ll see you later at lunch…” I paused before adding the killer blow, “Oh and Con? Thanks for last night, it was a great birthday present.” Then I cut off the call and switched my phone off. I got up, showered and dressed and went out for the day, not wanting to be at home where I could be found. Not surprisingly, he didn’t show at lunch.
Although we’d spoken I didn’t see him for another week. We never talked about that night. It was like it was a magical dream.
“Seriously Pea, you freak me the fuck out when you zone out on me like that,” Dane says alarmed and I realise I probably look like a freak staring off into space, but hey if he wants to get to know me he has to take it in his stride because I’ve done this since I was a small child.
“Roll with it Dane, just roll with it. It’s just me.” I wink at him and any previous uncertainty or tension has evaporated.
“Let’s get our skating on,” I say happier than I thought I would be. Again he has me wondering why I’m so relaxed around him.
“Okay sunshine, let’s go.” He motions toward his car.
I freeze.
“I... I... just no... I can’t,” I mutter.
“Pea, I know about the accident. Soph filled me in.” His eyes take on a look sad. “You look like a deer caught in the headlights, Pea. It’s okay. Take my hand and I’ll help you through this. You can’t avoid cars forever. You’ve been in a car since the accident, right?” he asks softly.
“Yeah Dane, but only with Con,” I wheeze out feeling a stabbing pain through my chest.
He has a determined look on his face. “Well, today sunshine, you’re going to get in a car with me.”
My eyes flit between the car and Dane. I need to do this. I have to push myself. I cannot keep letting the ghosts of the past haunt me and control my life. I look at Dane, resolute in my decision.
“Right, let’s do this,” I answer, determined. Before
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